Men Advise!

scobysnacks

I have a bit of a man dilemma and really could do with some good advice! I meet this Norwegian guy a few months back who is a friend of a friend. We’ve only met a few times but there has been a lot of chemistry between us. We finally got together last week. Unfortunately we were both really drunk. The next time I meet him was at a party he held over the weekend. We had a bit of a kiss but he was paralytic drunk falling all over the place and to be honest I wasn’t too far behind. I got his number and texted him thanking him for a great night but don’t really know how to take it from here. Do I:

A: Leave it wait for him to call me or another chance encounter (but chances are we won’t see each other for another few months and the momentum will be lost)
B: Stick my neck out and invite him out for a drink (the worst thing he can do is say no!)

I want to go with option B but do guys get turned off by this? The thing is, this guy is the first man in over a year that I’ve meet and really liked. I’m pretty sure he likes me too but I’m afraid if I hold off that the moment will pass but then if I call I might look like an eager beaver. My friend that introduced us has not really been so helpful in the situation (she has a boyfriend but you know the way some girls are a bit possessive and protective of their male friends).What does one do?

Femelade

go with option b if you want.
p.s. there's a PI forum for this kinda thing.

Mossy Monk

go for b. don't rely on someone else to make the first move. who knows? he could be thinking the exact same

ballooba

A. The above two people are idealistic. Text/phone him again before he does and he will think you're desperate. It's sad but true.

Vikings

Give him a text, tell him you'll be in/around his area at 'X' time and ask if he wants to meet up for a drink or coffee or whatever you want. If he gives you a plain no then he's not interested, his response should give you some insight into how he feels about you.

padser

ballooba wrote:

A. The above two people are idealistic. Text/phone him again before he does and he will think you're desperate. It's sad but true.

yeah i can really imagine being well put off a girl i fancied because she put herself out there and actually asked me out.

Seriously the only way he would think you were desperate etc would be if he is not interested anyway.....in which case you are loosing nothing by finding out now

madrab

i would go with b

text him on a sat or fri night saying you are out in town/at a party whats he up to etc

Vokes

Go with B. Although invite him out for coffee/lunch rather than a drink.

fischerspooner

don't go for coffee that will be boring and awkward. Go to a bar with him, get plastered, and then you'll probably get him in the sack.

Vokes

Well im thinking if shes looking to start dating the guy and getting to know him, she wouldnt want to be plastered ALL the time.

scobysnacks

Yeah, he only lives down the road from me so I could invite him for lunch on Saturday or something. I definetly don't want to go drinking with him as he gets so hammered so quickly and can barely stand. That's kinda what happened at the weekend! That's really why I think we didn't hook up properly on Saturday. I'm still a bit concerned that men like the chase and as soon as you start chasing them they lose interest! I keep messing up with men I like and really don't want to ruin this chance.

fischerspooner

some men probably like the chase, I'm a lazy get though, and prefer the women to do it all. And I always found alcohol works wonders in getting to know new girlfriends and breaking ice etc. I'm useless with women in general but if I didn't have alcohol to help me through difficult first dates I don't know how I'd cope at all.

AARRRGH

scobysnacks wrote:

B: Stick my neck out and invite him out for a drink (the worst thing he can do is say no!)

He's Scandanavian. From my experience with Scandanavian's (I know a lot) it's likely he is unable to show any kind of emotions so will not be freaked out by you ringing him.

Ring him!!

CuLT

I'd see this whole "getting paralytically drunk" every time he goes out as an incredibly bad sign tbh.

I wouldn't touch a girl like that with a ten foot barge pole and I don't see how it would be different from the other side of the fence.

AARRRGH

CuLT wrote:

I'd see this whole "getting paralytically drunk" every time he goes out as an incredibly bad sign tbh.

I wouldn't touch a girl like that with a ten foot barge pole and I don't see how it would be different from the other side of the fence.

Well, I doubt it's "every time he goes out" but rather just on the weekends.

That's pretty normal in Ireland!!!

drdre

defo go for option B and then take it from there. always give it a try if it doesnot work out then hard luck but keep trying:D

homeOwner

If he likes you he will find some way of asking you out. Men are quite straightforward. At the very least, even if he is the shyest guy on the planet, he will suss out from your mutual friend if you are single, interested, etc.....or he will get one of his friends to ask your friend (well depending on how old he is).

You have to consider that maybe he is not interested in anything other than whatever happens when you two meet and are drunk. Dont forget he is probably meeting other girls on the rest of the nights he is out and maybe he just likes it casual.

However if you are not the type to feel awkward if it backfires then go for it -text him and ask him out. At least you'll know.

scobysnacks

I know for sure that he isn't meeting any other women at the moment which is a plus. I was thinking of inviting him over for dinner (as I am a good cook) or is that a bit cheeky and forward?

AARRRGH

scobysnacks wrote:

I was thinking of inviting him over for dinner (as I am a good cook) or is that a bit cheeky and forward?

He'll expect sex (not sure if that's a problem for you or not.)

A drink is a safer option!