Mr.T-Isms

carpothepunk

Mr. T Facts
1; There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to ****ing walk.

2; Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

3; Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

4; Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

5; Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

6; 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence

7; Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man

8; Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

9; In the unlikely event that Mr. T ever pitied himself, the universe would immediately reboot to 1982.

10; Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

11; If you tune your police scanner to 138.225 Mhz, you will hear Mr. T's thoughts. They will, however, be the last thing you hear... because the sheer awesomeness of his thoughts will make your head explode.

12; Sticks and stones may break your bones but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs

13; Revolving doors were invented to keep Mr. T from kicking them in all the time.

14; Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.

15; Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

16; Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

17; Mr. T remains the only bad ass in American history to sucessfully fire 15,000 rounds out of a gun and hit no one.

18; Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

19; Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.

20; The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

21; Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

22; Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him

Rabies

Well, that was...... crap.

carpothepunk

And that goodsir is why its in AH

So as the higherarchy such as yourself have another reason to get one post closer to 4000 posts

Rabies

Now I'm one more post closer to 4000 :rolleyes:

It was my opinion. The only one I liked was

22; Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him

The rest were crap in my opinion.

Others may like the list more and give you the praise you are looking for

carpothepunk

Im not looking for "praise"

Im trying to bring a little(notice the word LITTLE) laughter to people on here....but im sorry,im no pigman

Now lets stop spamming up this thread

- bo -

have to say the only one i liked meself was the last one...

vengeance52

I think these were excellent, best thing since the Chuck Norris isms

Nice one

-V-

Crucifix

http://www.4q.cc/t/

RobertFoster

I liked #22 too...is this from one of those Vin Deisel/Chuck Norris sites, or did you make them up?

Lump Basher

Well, they were totally sh*t. What unfunny knob came up with that groanfest?

carpothepunk

i dunno,someone posted it on a myspace bulletin and i added some... i thought it was funny...obviously not

Mr.Nice Guy

Did someone say Mr T?

vengeance52

carpothepunk wrote:

i dunno,someone posted it on a myspace bulletin and i added some... i thought it was funny...obviously not

It was totally funny. The T rocks.

-V-

Roar

went on hoildays to new york recently. Flew with BA.. it was terrible.. Got up to the check in desk and all i could hear was "I AINT GETTIN ON NO PLANE FOOL"..

muckwarrior

17; Mr. T remains the only bad ass in American history to sucessfully fire 15,000 rounds out of a gun and hit no one.

That made me LOL.
Overall just as good as the chuck/vin ones.

Lump Basher

Roar wrote:

went on hoildays to new york recently. Flew with BA.. it was terrible.. Got up to the check in desk and all i could hear was "I AINT GETTIN ON NO PLANE FOOL"..

FFS - are people on Boards really this unfunny?? First the OP's crap Mr. T list, then another crap, predictable, & over-done joke!
Seriously - just let it go...

carpothepunk

Oh shut up...you dont even deserve Mr.T's pity,so quit yo jibba-jabba

vengeance52

Lump Basher wrote:

FFS - are people on Boards really this unfunny?? First the OP's crap Mr. T list, then another crap, predictable, & over-done joke!
Seriously - just let it go...

If you dont like it, just leave the thread and stop posting idiotic comments that just makes you look like, dare I say it, A FOOL.

-V-

sprinkles

Lump Basher wrote:

FFS - are people on Boards really this unfunny?? First the OP's crap Mr. T list, then another crap, predictable, & over-done joke!
Seriously - just let it go...

Why did you need to post that? If you don't think its funny then why don't you get back to watchinging reruns of Tubirdy tonight

vengeance52

sprinkles wrote:

Why did you need to post that? If you don't think its funny then why don't you get back to watchinging reruns of Tubirdy tonight

lol. Spot on

carpothepunk

sprinkles wrote:

Why did you need to post that? If you don't think its funny then why don't you get back to watchinging reruns of Tubirdy tonight

True,true..he be talking jibba-jabba

Mr.Nice Guy

Lump Basher wrote:

FFS - are people on Boards really this unfunny?? First the OP's crap Mr. T list, then another crap, predictable, & over-done joke!
Seriously - just let it go...

Que?

Dave

Thumsb up from me, I love all those "isms"

Funkstard

Hahahahaahaha! They're brilliant!

Lump Basher

sprinkles wrote:

Why did you need to post that? If you don't think its funny then why don't you get back to watchinging reruns of Tubirdy tonight

Because I hate Tubridy Tonight....
Don't get me wrong - Mr. T is cool and so are his catchphrases, but the OP trying to "add some of his own" to an already overused and overquoted selection of catchphrases is just naff.
Mr. T is funny - someone else trying to be funny by quoting him, isn't.

sprinkles

Lump Basher wrote:

Because I hate Tubridy Tonight....
Don't get me wrong - Mr. T is cool and so are his catchphrases, but the OP trying to "add some of his own" to an already overused and overquoted selection of catchphrases is just naff.
Mr. T is funny - someone else trying to be funny by quoting him, isn't.

so in that vein of thinking any jokes if not told by the person who origionally coined them remain unfunny.....

Personally I thought the list was funny, and if you go back and read it, it ISN'T a list of phrases he used.

There is no need to "BASH" the OP for trying to bring a bit of humour into ones day.....

Lump Basher

sprinkles wrote:

so in that vein of thinking any jokes if not told by the person who origionally coined them remain unfunny.....

Personally I thought the list was funny, and if you go back and read it, it ISN'T a list of phrases he used.

There is no need to "BASH" the OP for trying to bring a bit of humour into ones day.....

There's a humour forum for that. But I guess it would need to be funny first....on 2nd thoughts, leave it in this forum.

merlinsmerryman

All very funny.:)

sprinkles

Lump Basher wrote:

There's a humour forum for that. But I guess it would need to be funny first....on 2nd thoughts, leave it in this forum.

I'm impressed. I thought only those with a sense of humour would have know about the existence of such a forum. Perhaps your not as emotionally dead as I once thought. And since when is it against the rules to post something funny in AH???

carpothepunk

i believe the term is...pwnz0rz

Piste

I thought it was funny....




In fact I lolled quite a bit.

Dimitri

I'm easily amused and as a result i'm forced to admit this thread made me lol, a lot.
*Thumbs up op*

Lump Basher

sprinkles wrote:

And since when is it against the rules to post something funny in AH???

But it's NOT funny - which is why it's in AH, and not Humour.

carpothepunk

look mate,its nit my fault if you have a differant sense of humour than other people on the thread...Most people found it funny,if its so terrible,stop posting here!

Go on make ME laugh

sprinkles

Lump Basher wrote:

But it's NOT funny - which is why it's in AH, and not Humour.

That's your opinion...not a fact. If you look at what other people think you'll find a lot of them find it funny. Strange that....eh?

Lump Basher

sprinkles wrote:

That's your opinion...not a fact. If you look at what other people think you'll find a lot of them find it funny. Strange that....eh?

Yep - strange how easily amused some people are.

Karl Hungus

Mostly unfunny, but these few had me smiling:

carpothepunk wrote:

Mr. T Facts
12; Sticks and stones may break your bones but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs

16; Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

22; Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him

sprinkles

Lump Basher wrote:

Yep - strange how easily amused some people are.

Oh I see what you did there....very good:rolleyes:

Lump Basher

sprinkles wrote:

Oh I see what you did there....very good:rolleyes:

You thought THAT was "Very Good"?? Ha - that was nothing - you're easily impressed, as well as easily amused!

sprinkles

Lump Basher wrote:

You thought THAT was "Very Good"?? Ha - that was nothing - you're easily impressed, as well as easily amused!

the :rolleyes: did nothing for you no? Retard.

Piste

I pity the foo' who needs :rolleyes: for sarcasm.

Lump Basher

sprinkles wrote:

the :rolleyes: did nothing for you no? Retard.

Ooooh - he was being sarcastic? How subtle...

sprinkles

Piste wrote:

I pity the foo' who needs :rolleyes: for sarcasm.

well he needs all the help he can get imo

Lump Basher

sprinkles wrote:

well he needs all the help he can get imo

lol - I was being sarcastic when I pretended to miss his sarcasm - which you obviously missed....hahahaha
I guess it's you who needs the help detecting sarcasm....

sprinkles

Read what I sadi. I was replying to the previous posters comment not your last one.

Good one though...lets see if you can keep this going....

madrab

sprinkles wrote:

Why did you need to post that? If you don't think its funny then why don't you get back to watchinging reruns of Tubirdy tonight

zing

shakaman

When Mr. T cuts onions, it's the onions doing the crying.

Hahahahah brilliant!

thelordofcheese

some are chronic, some are comedy gold.

still kudos to the OP and whoever gave the link.

Made my day a little bit more bearable.