Potty Training

hillybilly

My daughter just turned 3 this month. We started her potty training last July. Everything went well with her 'wee wees' as she calls it. She is fully trained in that regard and no longer wears a nappy, day or night. However, we are having no joy. We have tried absolutely everything we can think of. I am 1 of 9 children and even my mother is stumped on this one. We don't get any warning of when she needs to go, so we can't even catch her and put her on the toilet. We started asking her when she broke wind if she needed to go to the toilet and now every time she breaks wind she says "excuse me, I don't need to do poos." I would be very gratefull for any input or suggestions anyone would have on how to solve the problem.

luckat

Hmm. She's getting lots of attention from this, eh?

Maybe if you bought a box of sweets and put them somewhere prominent, saying "Little girls who tell their mammy when they need to do a poo get a sweet" - then be kind of offhand about the whole thing...

If she says she doesn't need to do a poo, say "Er? OK?" in an offhand tone and go on doing something else. If she does a poo, clean her up and give her a clean pair of pants, also in a slightly bored, thinking-of-something-else way - not cross or anything, just automatic.

But if she *tells* you she needs to do a poo, then you bring her to the toilet and she does it, beam and be full of praise, wash your hands together, then the first time give her a big jackpot of sweets and smiles!

Next time, also beam and praise, and make a ceremony of getting down the box and letting her choose the sweet she wants - and so on.

You'll go through a few boxes before you have the habit set, but this should work.

At the moment, it's not to her advantage to be completely potty trained - she gets more attention from *not* being!

(Of course, there's the faint possibility that this is a medical problem; if the sweets don't work, I'd go to the doc and get it checked out just in case.)

hillybilly

Thanks for your input, Luckat.

I never thought about the attention side of it and it seems to make perfect sense. I'm going to give your suggestion a go and hopefully it should work.

I have wondered if it was a medical problem, so if this fails I agree that a visit to the doc is in order.

I'll keep you posted (pardon the pun)

mountainyman

Good advice Luckat.

Late potty training is the norm now but make a huge fuss of her when she gets it right.

noby

We did pretty much as Luckat described. The treat afterwards was a great motivation. Our 2 1/2y.o. boy used to announce "I'll make a poo, then have some chocolate". We gradually phased out the treats.
We also bought 'Kandoo' wipes. They were 'especially for him, for after a poo'. Another bribe of sorts.

Also, watch out for a pattern. Is it a regular time every day? If so, you can really watch her for that period for any signs. Even if you catch her half way through, you can still sit her on the loo, and if she finishes the job (these puns are hard to avoid!), give her the treat.

niallb

I'm potty training twin girls at the moment (and a large puppy, which is making things even more complicated!) and am really glad to see some of these posts.

One of my girls is a lot more ready than the other,
but they're insisting on doing it together.

My eldest is now six and he was so easy to potty train
that I assumed like a fool it would go sweetly and swiftly. :-)

We trained him in the Summer though, when clothing was
quicker to get on and off - and quicker to wash.
Is this just a mad time of year to be toilet training?

Anyone any more feedback on how long training took for them?
Differences between boys and girls?
Dressing suggestions so that they can make a head start themselves?

My big problem at the moment is that they know they need to go,
but they don't know when they've finished, and accidents happen
very shortly after a visit to the bathroom.

I think the kandoos are a good suggestion, and I've found that
a bottle of a fruity foamy soap wash (Johnson's Junior) has them
keen enough that I think they sometimes "go potty" just to wash their hands.

@Hillbilly, are there any favourite clothes she has that you've found her
less likely to go in? One of mine has a favourite pair of jeans and if
she's wearing those she always seems to make it to the bathroom in time,
and wants them off before she starts just in case.

Best of luck,
NiallB

Kernel32

My son just got potty trained. We first tried 6 months ago but it didn't go well. He was getting too upset and it was stressful for all so we backed off. About a month back or so we started telling him that there would be no more nappies soon.

We picked a Sunday and made all nappies and nappy related stuff disappear. It has gone very well. He has had a few accidents but none in several days now. We give him an M&M each time he uses it, but only if he asks for one. He doesn't get much for sweets so that makes him pretty happy. We also have a routine we go through after he uses it which involves cleaning the potty and washing his hands with his own special soap.

What I have learned, and of course each kid is different, he doesn't like to be constantly reminded to use the potty. In the beginning we would constantly remind him to use the potty if he has to pee. He was getting mad with that so we took a step back and just made sure the potty was easy to get to.

hillybilly

Thanks everone for your input, I didn't expect this much interest in the subject.

We had a breakthrough yesterday. We followed Luckat's advice to the letter and she showed great interest in the 'special sweets' as we called them. She went yesterday and we gave her great praise. She has now told me that she will tell me when she needs to go, and then she'll get her special sweets.

She hasn't gone since, so hopefully it's not just a fluke.

With regard to the post mentioning favourite clothes, she doen't pay much attention to her clothes, she doesn't have the interest (unlike myself).

We do have the johnsons junior handwash, which she loves, but I never thought of the kandoo wipes. It's on the shopping list.

Again, thanks and I'll keep you posted!

luckat

This is great! You'll have successes and then fades out, but now that you've had this breakthrough, she associates pre-warning of the need for a toilet with good things. That's the basic setup done.

Very well done!

Orion

niallb wrote:

I'm potty training twin girls at the moment (and a large puppy, which is making things even more complicated!) and am really glad to see some of these posts.
NiallB

We're just starting to try to train twins now as well. They both insist on using the same potty though which is a problem. They're only 2 so we're not pushing them too hard - more just encouraging them when they get it right. All we're really doing in leaving them naked at home sometimes and trying to catch them piddling and hurry them to the potty to finish the job

They get really excited when they do their "boo boo" (don't ask:D) in the potty so maybe it won't be too hard to train them. We've just started getting pullups as well to make it easier.

luckat

Why shouldn't they use the same potty? After all, everyone else in the house uses the same toilet!

niallb

If they're anything like mine, it's because they'll
want to use it at exactly the same time :-)

NiallB

Orion

niallb has it spot on