quarter life crisis

arac

Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going
along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things
about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends
that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people
you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of
the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing
that too, and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that
they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you
would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you
are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with
the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they
weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do
not want.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing
and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you
realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list
of what is acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel
alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
for dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe
love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you
are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and
getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and
talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to
make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life
for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd
just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard
as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help
someone feel like they are not alone in their state of confusion.

It's not where or when you arrive - it's taking the journey that counts.
From a fella by the name of John Butler, he is in a band in Austrailia ..what do ye think? I feel that it sums up alot of people s sitautions

Lambsbread

Very good. Seems to sum me up at the moment. Particularly the work part, In a job i don't really like but not quite sure what kind of job i would like!!

audge

arac wrote:

Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going
along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things
about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends
that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people
you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of
the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing
that too, and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that
they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you
would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you
are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with
the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they
weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do
not want.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing
and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you
realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list
of what is acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel
alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
for dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe
love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you
are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and
getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and
talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to
make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life
for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd
just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard
as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help
someone feel like they are not alone in their state of confusion.

It's not where or when you arrive - it's taking the journey that counts.
From a fella by the name of John Butler, he is in a band in Austrailia ..what do ye think? I feel that it sums up alot of people s sitautions

a girl was posting in personal issues a ouple of weeks ago saying she felt like she was going through a mid life crisis at 24, pity we didn't have you on board for advice like this at the time!

Prior Of Taize

im turning 20 at the weekend and im scared

:v: :v: :v:

audge

Dont be, and 21 is no biggy, you wont actauuly feel old for real till you finish college and are faced with the big bad world.
(I just finished college, I have just bought my first car and cant believe that buying a house has actually crossed my mind more then once!)
I am officially old!

Teller

That's very good. I can definitely relate to it.

finlma

I'm 25 and totally relate to it. I was reading through it and thinking how apt it is and then I saw that John Butler wrote it. John Butler is an absolute legend of a musicain. I had the privalege of seeing him play for 3 hours when I lived in NZ. He's have American/half Ozzie with Kilkenny ancestors.

simu

Pfft. A day out digging up potatoes would end all that moping!

opr

Can relate to alot of what he is saying.

dundalk cailin

Prior Of Taize wrote:

im turning 20 at the weekend and im scared

:v: :v: :v:

def dont wana turn 20 myself, feel like lif's passing me by, and think of the stuff i should be doin

monkeyfudge

Yeah... once you turn 20 chocolate starts to taste different.

Watch out for that one.

Pighead

What a load of tosh!If you people are getting stressed out worried and depressed in your mid 20's then you's are serioulsly fcuked when you reach your late 30's and 40's.You're in your prime at the moment lads.C'mon cheer up.You're never going to look as good as you do now.Your 20's are a time when you're no longer treated like a child by the outside world (not counting your folks), but you're young enough to still live it up. Pighead often gets told it's all down hill from here, but don't believe it.Crisis?What crisis

BoozyBabe

Pighead wrote:

What a load of tosh!If you people are getting stressed out worried and depressed in your mid 20's then you's are serioulsly fcuked when you reach your late 30's and 40's.You're in your prime at the moment lads.C'mon cheer up.You're never going to look as good as you do now.Your 20's are a time when you're no longer treated like a child by the outside world (not counting your folks), but you're young enough to still live it up. Pighead often gets told it's all down hill from here, but don't believe it.Crisis?What crisis

Agreed, except your bits start to head southwards!!!:(

[Jackass]

BoozyBabe wrote:

Agreed, except your bits start to head southwards!!!:(

As long as they don't start to head north, it's all good.

I can relate to everything in that article!! Long may the cold sweats continue!!

dahooligan

Its seems like a grass is always greener situation.. when you're younger you wanna be older, when you're older you wanna be younger etc. Don't dwell on stuff like that, cos before you know it you'll be in a Old peeps home with a young nurse wiping drool off your face, while you're wishing you didn't waste so much time fretting about getting old when you were in your early 20's!

Live life like ya mean it, learn from everything and celebrate every birthday .. even if you think you'll be depressed by it!

Check me out bein all philosophical and I'm not a wet day over 22

Siogfinsceal

i definately relate to that . im 25 and freaked. i only feel about 18 theres so many things ive never done , gone travelling etc never took ayear out and now dunno what to do afraid of quitting my job in case I cant go back etc etc that piece really sums it up....only question is - what do we quarter life crisis victims do now????

audge

I have been having quarter life crisis attacks since I turned 22. I think the main reason we are getting them is because we are spoilt rotten for options. 25 years ago, our folks didn't get the opportunity to debate whether they would take a year out of college/go on to do the masters/ go travelling etc.
They got jobs, got married, got houses, had kids..... and so on and so forth, they followed a very straight and norrow bath, all their friends did the same.

We, on the other hand, have every window and door of opportunity available to us and we can't handle the options.

I did a course in journalism, then a course in radio broadcasting, then a degree in media production and media management.

when I was finished I could do a masters, which one?
Go travelling, where?
Get a job, which industry?
Take up another course? which one?

Its no wonder we work ourselves up into a tizzy and don't know what to do with our lives. Its not through lack of option, its through overload of options!

Siogfinsceal

thats so true! theres so many different paths to take i get dizzy!! Ive a well paying job so that makes it harder to leave and ive a boyf too so its so hard to weigh up the pros and cons.! and as for work ..should I stay or should I go??

audge

Well you see your thinking "oh my God I am 25",

I am thinking "Oh my God, your only 25, you have scored a well paying job once, most employers will take lengths to at least meeting your current wage (never mind the fact that you will be going to them with x amount of experience), if your really not happy, and you know what kind of job you want to be doing, why not send out a few cv's, score a few interviews, and then depending what they offer you, weigh up your options"

Siogfinsceal

cheers audge thats some really nice advice!! its a really good perspective to put on it ;-) thanks

OFDM

I was thinking about this today. Even came up with the same "quarter-life crisis" term, then I check boards and there's a bloody thread on it.

Spooky. :eek:

Sparky

jesus im turing 20 and im trying to buy a house, this is a sign i think.

jrey1981

Can relate to alot of this...had a long chat about it when I saw a good friend back from travelling in the summer.

We are both 24...in some ways we despaired that there is this set path for your life...meet a girl, move in together, buy a house, a car...its like you are closing down your options all the time

dundalk cailin

yea i suppose, just sometimes i think ah i should have done this course instead of this one, but i hope it works out for the best!

Sleepy

Yup, been there for the last two years...

dundalk cailin

well im over half way thru the course, get thru this yr and 4th yr, suppose its not so bad, ill have a 4yr degree done at 21, so i can still do something else then