Friend Likes Me...

LegacyUser

Bit of a turn up for the books. Pretty much the opposite of the usual threads in this forum.

Not too much to the story, at a party at the weekend a good friend of mine asked me out. We've been friends for about 3 years through college. Apparently he's broken up with his last three girlfriends because "they weren't me" (awkward for me because I set him up with one of them!) and I'm both the most attractive and interesting girl he's ever met (?? - not true).

It's immensely flattering, he's a lovely guy, he's not facially deformed (the opposite in fact, he's quite attractive) I enjoy his company, BUT... It's just not there.

Basically, he told me all this just as he was leaving because he "had to get it off his chest".

So. What do I do now, internet? I've seen a lot of threads from people here about how they did this/wanted to do this/shouldn't have done this, so I think ye're qualified to tell me the nicest way to say no...

Current thinking is to wait till we next meet up and say what i said above.

It's immensely flattering, he's a lovely guy, he's not facially deformed (the opposite in fact, he's quite attractive) I enjoy his company, BUT... It's just not there.

gandalf

Well you have already answered it. Tell him you are flattered but there is no spark there. No point getting involved in something that doesn't feel right to you.

Good Luck.

Faith

If it's not there, it's not there and there's nothing you can do about it. If he mentions it again, just tell him gently that you're sorry and you really like having him as a friend, but you don't feel that way about him.

Canis Lupus

Dance around him calling him ugly infront of the entire class?

On the other hand you answered your own question.

Skitbra

Go out with him!!! See what happens. Give the poor guy a break. If he's attractive then it's not going to kill you.

JungleBunny

No, don't go out with him just because he is attractive. That's just plain stupid and completely superficial!
If you don't like him you just have to tell him openly and honestly. Just make sure that is what you really want.
He seems to be slightly obsessed with you though, so you might want to tell him sooner rather than later.

Laguna

What's the discussion here, you've already decided what you're going to do.

Anto and Moe

Go out with the chap. If it doesn't work out, at least you gave it a chance. Cant say fairer than that. Otherwise he will keep trying/hoping.

Royale with Cheese

I had a friend who liked me for a while but I wasn't really interested. The one night in a drunken mess we kissed but nothing happened after that which was what I wanted. Then about 6 months later we became really good friends and I realised how great she was. Can't stop kicking myself for not taking a chance when I could have.

[Jackass]

Give him a chance! If he's good looking, you get on well, and you know he really likes you and will treat you well..why not??? He might grow on you like a fungus.

dundalk cailin

happened me too, again we kissed, but nothing there, now we get on grand, im glad our friendship wasnt wrecked

Tar.Aldarion

DubGuy wrote:

He might grow on you like a fungus.

If you don't like him then you don't like him,simple as.
you may change your mind ages in the future like DrJ but probably not and if you do,he may have changed his!
I have liked my friend for a year,told her.not interested,fair enough.He will get over it like I have to.It's not fun,in fact nowhere near and won't be for quite some time but c'est la vie.

Apparently he's broken up with his last three girlfriends because "they weren't me"

That sounds all too familiar...but I don'd think I would use freaky words like 'because they weren't you'


The easiest way for you to say no is to just give an outright no,'sorry but I don't like you like that' or something.
Just don't go out and toy with him if you don't like him like that.That is what you would be doing and you would lose your friend.

rambler

From personal experience, you have answered you own question, if you were to date him just for the sake of it, it would be unfair to him, If he is a true friend he will understand and accept it.

Red Alert

i don't quite know what to say here, as i'm currently in a will-i wont-i situation. what happenned after he told you? did he just leave or did you say anything about it at all?

it looks to me like you don't think there's anything there, and that he's a very good friend. if that's the case, go for a walk or coffee or something just the two of you and tell him there and then. he'll thank you later for being honest, and it means he won't be afraid to discuss personal stuff with you in the future about either himself or you.

jrey1981

Just because "its just not there" now doesnt mean it will never be there...where does everyone get this idea that if theres no instant attraction, then thats it...move on...next?!

We treat this like flicking TV channels or turning the pages of a magazine....which is largely where the problem comes from I think...but in my humble opinion, if you enjoy the guys company, hang out for a bit and see how things go...

If its just awkward, then you know it aint going to work, but you never know, things might develop, something might happen to change the way you think...and you might both be happier than you ever knew possible.

Just my humble two cents worth from a guys point of view...

Amazotheamazing

Depends really, are you at the age where you want to find the "one" (cough bull**** cough) or do you just want to go out with some really cool people and experience new things? Personally, I'd say give it a go, you're young enough to learn from what may be a great experience.