Idiot Awards!

Spalk0

I thought these were funny......

Number One Idiot of 2003

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very
upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down
and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave
her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right
away.


Number Two Idiot of 2003


Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful
in getting it out of the plane and home.. Shortly after they took
it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter
coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on
the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.


Number Three Idiot of 2003


A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob downtown
Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he
handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising >from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the
harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back
to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
at Bank of America.


Number four Idiot of 2003


A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
mailed in his $40.


Number Five Idiot of 2003


A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you
are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in
fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran
>from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off
the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.


Idiot Number Six of 2003


A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.


Idiot Number Seven of 2003


Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems
the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
caught on videotape.


Idiot Number Eight of 2003


Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at12:50 A.M.,
flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he
said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.When
the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast.. The man, frustrated, walked away.


Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote,
and probably operate motor vehicles.

Jim

Sounds like they're ripped of the Darwin Awards, I know I've read some of them there anyway.

Spalk0

Dammit! :mad:

Ah well, got them in a mail, thought they were funny!