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Life!!

  • 21-11-2004 12:38am
    #1
    StupidLikeAFox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,745 ✭✭✭


    GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
    > 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    > 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
    > second person.
    > 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    > 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    > 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    > 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    > 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    > 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    > 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
    > 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
    > 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    > 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    > 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    > 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    > 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
    > 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    > 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    > 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
    > there.
    > 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
    > that you once got from a roller coaster.
    > 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
    > you the questions.
    > 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    > 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
    > 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    > 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    > 3) You are Santa Claus.
    > 4) You look like Santa Claus.

    SUCCESS:
    > At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
    > At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    > At age 18 success is . . having a drivers license.
    > At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.
    > At age 35 success is . . . having money.
    > At age 50 success is . . having money.
    > At age 60 success is . . .. going all the way.
    > At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    > At age 75 success is . . having friends.
    > At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants

    Sorry if it was posted before


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