Girl being threatend

joejoem

Ok where do I begin, and will try keep this short.

My cousin is in greece on an erasmes, she was with this guy (a french muslim) once or twice, just kissed, when she wouldnt sleep with him he started to harrass her and call her names and tell her she was worthless when no one else was around. Now it has moved forward where she says he is threatning to hit her and how no one will belive her if she tells. The thing is he is kind of right, she fell out with the other Irish girl who went over and the other Irish girl has caused a riff between her and alot of people, and this guy is supposadly very good looking and all the girls worship him. I have told her to go to one of the heads of the college or to a lecturer and tell them what is going on but she wont she is afraid no one will belive her. I just booked flights which I cant really afford with all the bills and christmas to go over next weekend. I will try to push her to go to the authorities then but I know I will flip aswell and probably go after him. I just dont know what else to do or say to her.

I just know this needs to be nipped in the bud

Beruthiel

joejoem wrote:

I have told her to go to one of the heads of the college or to a lecturer and tell them what is going on

this would seem the best course of action to begin with

joejoem

I have tried to get her to do this but she wont, I am flying over there on the thursday so I can bring her to the college on the friday, im afraid something might have happend by then though???

Beruthiel

joejoem wrote:

I have tried to get her to do this but she wont, I am flying over there on the thursday so I can bring her to the college on the friday, im afraid something might have happend by then though???

I'm sure he has more brains than to do something stupid (hopefully)
has she no other friend she can hang out with so she is not alone?
She really does need to tell the school councillor (if there is one) so she has it on record, it does not have to go any further than that for now, if she is scared enough to drag you all the way over then she needs to be pro active and sort this out herself - surely the campus is big enough that she can avoid him?

Gordon

I live in Athens, if there's anything I can do of help let me know.

landser

when is her erasmus year up?

she could go to the cops... while i don't condone it, the greek cops aren't exactly number one fans of muslims, there would also be a record then of the report.

is he on an erasmus also? is there not some forum within the erasmus scheme she report this to?

joejoem

She lives in a dorm with 75 people which is about a 1/4 the size of the population of the college. She has one guy who apparently has been helping her out, says he leaves his phone on during the night. She didnt ask for me to go over, she is now scared of the repercussions of when I get there

joejoem

landser wrote:

when is her erasmus year up?

she could go to the cops... while i don't condone it, the greek cops aren't exactly number one fans of muslims, there would also be a record then of the report.

is he on an erasmus also? is there not some forum within the erasmus scheme she report this to?

Thanks gordon, dont think there is much you can do but nice of you to offer. As far as the cops, yeah I will try to push her that direction but like I said she is petrified of any trouble. She hasnt got the best confidence, so I think in her mind she feels like she deserves it

koneko

Until you get there maybe she's best off laying low, hanging out at the dorms with people she knows there, trying to stay away from this guy, not doing silly things like going out at night alone.
He may just lose interest and disappear, he might be just acting the muppet, but in any case you'll be there soon to help her and it's better to be safe than sorry. Is there local (college) security there she can report them to?

koneko

Show her this thread then
No one deserves that kind of hassle, at all.

FX Meister

Maybe tape any conversations between herself and the scumbag so when she reports it she has backup.

jay567

Hi, Not any help but just wanted to say how much i respect the fact that you are going over to help your cousin. Best of luck, and if we can assist from our office chairs, just let me know.

Nuttzz

So he is a "looker" who cant believe he got no for an answer and now is trying to bully his way into the sack with her. He is a bully, a scum bag, he comes from a culture that isnt exactly PC on womens rights. A word in his ear is what is needed, the fact that you flew over (past in a future tense) to help your cousin will open his eyes to the fact that if anything happens "trouble" could come from everywhere

joejoem

Just to say I am flying over there tonight, thanks for the advice and I will let you know how I get on. Let the games begin.

cajun_tiger

bst of luck and the one thing you dont need is a mob to be on your case if shes said nothing much to anyone then your only visiting your cuz. now your best bet it not to say much but make your presence felt. you know look like you know what you know with out saying much. but while your there get her to go to the police anybody on campus might cause problems

Xterminator

I would have to advocate violence in this case.
(Because you wont be there long and a warning might not have the desire effects!).

Get a pair of brass knucks & beat him up! Preferably in a dark alley, with no witnesses. After the beating explain short and sweetly if your cousin even sees him again, you'll be back. Tell him you dont live far away (he wont know better).

Given the situation i think its justified, and a lot bullys are cowards, and will back down in the face of violence, or a threat.

Finally, try to ge your cousin to report his behaviour to someone officially. (College, cops or both) as record of his behaviour may be needed in the future if this does continue.

Plan for the worst; hope for the best!.

X

stagolee

Xterminator wrote:

Get a pair of brass knucks & beat him up! Preferably in a dark alley, with no witnesses. After the beating explain short and sweetly if your cousin even sees him again, you'll be back. Tell him you dont live far away (he wont know better).

only problem being if he works out your in another country he might get brave and decide to pay your sister back for the beating you gave him

i would say just intimidate him , tell him your affiliated with the ra , that should put the ****es up him

Evil Phil

TBH I think seeing her with another man who's close to her will probably scare the little sh*t off. It usually does.

Sleepy

Drop a few not so subtle "you're not lookin for trouble there boyo aryah?"'s into the conversation, act stupidly patriotic and republican and you should scare the ****er off.

joejoem

Thats a good one, Ill go on the piss wearing an irish flag, singing "Come out ye black n tans, come out and fight me like a man...."

cajun_tiger

ooo thats a gud un!!! joe please dont go with your fist flaring fights just cause after ripples. make your cousin do the right thing hold her hand be there for her. dont fight him, esp if he has the backing of the college

for instance

"oh look theres the cool french guy getting beat up by some nobody that nobody knows ... lets kill him!!!!"

the_syco

You say she fell out with the other girl she went over with. See was he the reason. Also, see if he has been spreading rumours.

Finally, don't do anything stupid. Remember; your alone in a foreign country, and as a rule, most scumbags usually has 20 more scumbags a phonecall away.

I'd advise you to get her to go to the cops/security, and report the dude about his actions.

joejoem

This is the latest e mail

well
amirs reign of terror has started to spread out from
me. he's now pissing off ester and imma, 2 spanish
girls, cos he or one of the other boys, not quite sure
shat and pissed in their laundry after it came out of
the machine. they also bought a dartboard to take out
their frustrations but ended up just throwing darts at
the wall, and at some ppls heads, and one guy matteo,
who's usally really nice set a table on fire, and now
all the girls are mightily pissed off with him. amir
also told jenny, an english girl that was looking for
me at a party that i was off shagging some guy, and
started threatening her too, followed her into the
lift and stopped the lift between floors to shout at
her. weirdly i feel better, cos now everyone knows
what a psycho he is im not alone, if that doesnt sound
too selfish?


So I dont think there will be many left to stand up for him. When I first posted about this I just wanted to go over there all Gung-Ho like and break some skulls, but Ive calmed down now, Ive kept every e mail and midnight text and Im ready to go to the authorities first. I can see this guy starting something with me and I will not hold back. Most people are intimidated by my size so hopefully I wont need to but if its called for, in the words of tony Suprano "I will **** him up"

impr0v

Sounds like it's all going to descend into anarchy soon enough. Her next e-mail will have an mpg attached which looks like the 'liberate tutemet ex infernis' scene from Event Horizon.

tinkerbell

That's absolutely revolting what they did to their laundry, fecking muppets. You have a case for harrassment there. So go to the authorities once you get over (drag your cousin by the feet if you have to!) and let them handle it. You could even get them to take out a restraining order on the weirdo if that would be preferred?

Canis Lupus

unless joejoe is 5 foot nothing and weighs 9 stone.... which in that case he needs to try name calling from a distance and hope he is faster than the other fella...

On a more serious note while beating yur man up is always a nice option:

A: Your man might just do something horrible to yur cousin in return.
B: It destroys any chance of reporting the matter to someone in authority cos it won't look too good reporting the matter only to have yur man complain he had the **** kicked outta him.
C: If u get stopped by the police u could end up stuck in a foreign country in jail

Finally the real course of action she has is to report the matter and importantly to find herself a group of friends (preferably with a few blokes) to sort yur man out... If she is with a group it's more likely frenchy will sod off and find himself someone else to stalk.

Anywho good luck.

joejoem

Canis Lupus wrote:

unless joejoe is 5 foot nothing and weighs 9 stone.... which in that case he needs to try name calling from a distance and hope he is faster than the other fella...

Ha ha ha if you only knew. Im 6'7" with a slim boxers physyque. but point taken, not gonna go mad unless its called for

Victor

Honestly guys, cop on. Violence isn't going to solve it. Take is up with the Erasmus coordinator and college authorities and if needs be the police.

joejoem

Just in case anyone wanted an update, I went over at the weekend, and brought her to the authorities. We partied pretty hard the first night and we got talking to half the dorm and the second night was going well too until she got a text from him telling her to get out of the building or in 5 mins he would come fiind her and kill her. With hearing this I lost the rag, found him, brought him to his room, took his phone and deleted her number and told him Id be back in december and if he had done anything to her or any of the other girls I would break his knees. I was shouting down at him so much I could see my spit landing on his face, really wanted to kill him, and he got scared and started to cry (I think this was an attempt to get some sypathy) I then went to leave the room, opened the door, and As I was leaving I called him a scumbag, he replied no your a scumbag. I walked over and pushed him pretty hard, and about ten or fifteen people walked in who had been standing outside. Very few of these knew who I was, and I realised what he was trying to do. He wanted to get peoples sympathy back. So, I let everyone know at the top of my lungs what was going on. One of his friends followed me downstairs later and said he didnt belive it, so I showed him the texts and he couldnt belive it. Anyway to finish, I think it is over for my cousin, but he is starting on another girl, but everyone knows now, and weill keep both eyes on him. It was unbelivable after the argument, people coming up congratulating me. I dont think there was much to congratulate me for, he wasnt that big, people told me it looked like a teacher scolding a child. I think it was just people being afraid to get involved. Anywho, if he does do anything I will go back and sort it out. There are letters with the authorities and they know now of the abuse

cajun_tiger

good for you joe hope everything works out in your cousins favour

Canis Lupus

Great job.

Gordon

Well done that man, fair play to you.

If you want, I can mosy on down and wear a trench coat smoking a cigarette and tap him on the shoulder every month and ask him if he's being a good boy "from joejoem".

Sleepy

Nah, Gordon, you'd better make it a fat cuban cigar...

vibe666

Gordon wrote:

Well done that man, fair play to you.

If you want, I can mosy on down and wear a trench coat smoking a cigarette and tap him on the shoulder every month and ask him if he's being a good boy "from joejoem".

nothing better to keep a scumbag in cheque than someone he doesn't know watching him.

you wouldn't even need to do anything. just watch him from a distance, and wink at him now and again.

they apparently used to do a thing in spain where if you owed someone money they could legally hire someone to follow you round. they wouldn't do anything but they were dressed a certain way so everyone knew why they were there.

i believe most people paid up quickly.

Xterminator

Honestly guys, cop on. Violence isn't going to solve it. ...

Eating .... words .....



Seiously though. We live in the real world, and sometimes you have to take actions that you might find distasteful in an ideal situation.

To the person who decided my earlier post deserved negative rep,

Quote "You've obviously never been in a physical confrontation in your life."

1. I was right.

2. I live in an area where occasionally i have had to stand up to people for myself and my family. I was speaking from personal experience. Bullys are cowards. Stand up to them once and they back down. Thats why i ooffered the advice i did.

X