Time For An Old Leaving Cert English Poem...

RopeDrink

Something that cropped up out of my mind a few years ago during the leaving cert...

I was vastly depressed... Feel free to flame it.

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Waiting

The darkness surrounding the land slowly began to evaporate, as the sun revealed itself to the earth, smiling with its passive face of light at the motion of life that continued on before it. An eternity I have sat, contemplating, waiting, wondering what wonders I have missed. Ever since the heartless angel from above tainted my very soul with the cold, ghoul touch of stone, people have gone by me in total ignorance of my being. They see my outer shell, but fail to see my inner despair.

Inside a square of passive greenery, I sit, eyes rolled to the heavens in a pleading stare, hoping that sympathy should float my way and release me from my immortality, release me from my eternal past, separate me from the living dreams which have halted the blood of my motionless being.
My body is my now my prison, my life is a mere illusion, an image of what I wished it to be. Everyday my solid eyes witness the rise and fall of the sun, the creeping movement of the distant dissipating clouds. Hail and rain bounce off my solid, cold complexion, while sunshine reflects off my brow.

If I am to live in this lingering Limbo, would God have mercy and send searing showers to erode my solid, moulded shape into a flurry of fragments, to scatter about the land and enable me to see its wonders for the first time since the birth of my un-ageing life? Or would he send a man, chisel in hand, to carve my being into a shape more tolerable and endurable towards the hardship? Do I wish to be shaped as a bird?
A boar? Do I have the capability to wish at all?

There will be no end to this everlasting torture. This cursed creature, with head locked in upward slant, is doomed to stare the same vision until the end of time.

Time.

Time is my only possession, my one ally. Time has preserved my sanity, yet it fuels my hatred for myself. And so I sit, like a Chapel Gargoyle, with its rooftop stare, remaining alone, rooted to the rafters of hell, doomed to live my life of discoloured memories.

I can do nothing but wait and wonder, wait while I wither, live my life isolated inside my shell. There is no escape from myself.
There is no escape from my flesh of stone.

Written by Andrew Duffy,
1st March 1998.</font>

OConnor

Are you pondering on commiting Suicide Rope?
Your posts are pretty Depressing..
maybe you Should get some of that Valium stuff i hear it works wonders

Oh , and nice poem.
Are you going to have a career in English?
writing ? Law ?
you seem to have something of a literary bent.

El Marco

Nice poem.
You should write more. You might get recognised and they might get published?

m1ke

To think that poem is reality for some, bleak, if depression visits my shell ther'll be an "out for lunch" sign on the door

LoLth

nice poem even if it makes you want to disassemble your gilette and sit in a bathtub...

RopeDrink

I've attempted suicide two times before - Obviously I failed in doing it right, but Im going to give up trying for two reasons...

1) Suicide is cowardly
2) Life might (just might) improve, and so Im sure I can wait until then...

By default, im a shy, depressed and negative person - I look at things from a negative side first... I have so many family problems it's unreal, and only just a few days ago, my grand father passed away, so it all mounts up...

I wont bore you with my life story, although it would make a good book...

Cheers for the support lads - Looks like I might be doing something right for a change...

Im more fond of story writing though, you can see some of the note's i've written on my novel here:

http://acidreign_.homestead.com/storyselection.html

Now, if it doesnt work, it's because your browser doesnt accept the "_" as a valid digit... Again, cheers for the support - It makes me want to write more - Depressing or not.

[This message has been edited by RopeDrink (edited 27-07-2001).]

nesf

I always found writing an excellent way of releasing tension when i was depressed, unfortunately i was also parasuicidal. Nasty thing in retrospect, you don't know whether you'd have followed it through or not.

In any case i have 3 pieces of advice.

**** medication
**** psychiatrists
and finally and more eloquently
if you can absorb and accept your depression you can overcome the worst times.

Then again i'm still depressed so what do i know.

But i have stopped cutting myself.

Question, did you use a blade, and if so was it the same one?

Fidelis

Nil Desperandum

[This message has been edited by Fidelis (edited 28-07-2001).]

LoLth

lads, I don't want this to turn into a suicide discussion group. Try humanities for that.. or much better yet, transfer it to private email.
Not being nasty, it's just a topic not quite suitable for some younger viewers - it's only a matter of time before this turns into a "Quick guide to Topping Oneself" or "The End for Idiots or a reference for the rest of us".

You might be sitting in a room on your own posting happily to a computer screen but this is a public forum, anyone can drop in and the censorship rules allow the site to get past most net nanny type devices. We don't want the boards getting into trouble from parents for "unseemly and dangerous" content.


ps. Fidelis, it's Nihil isn't it?

nesf

Apologies LoLth.

But I would point out that a) newspapers and other media describe in much detail the ways used when reporting on cases, b) reading a guide on how to, isn't going to make ppl want to kill themselves, Nietzche is far more dangerous in that respect, plus if a person wants to they don't have to be told how


But i will adhere to your wishes and not bring up the topic again.

RopeDrink

Ok - To Answer Nesf, no I didn't use any blades, I merely leapt off the third floor balcony of my flat, was knocked unconcsious and found the next day...

In regards to Lolth, Im sorry if it seems that the thread is spiralling into a suicide thread, but in my humble opinion, it's a discussion of depression expressed / felt through poems...

Or maybe not - Gah I dont know, ignore my ramblings...

Anyway, I am glad a few of you have even read my poem, and hope to continue my writing...

---

[VAR]-RopeDrink***** was killed by IOL NoLimits with Headshot from Disconnect

LoLth

thanks.