Pam! Oh I wish I looked after my teeth.

The Muppet

OH, I WISH I'D LOOKED AFTER MY TEETH


Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!

If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."

How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth

______________________________________________________________

There's only two weeks to go to the Boards Beer and as you are probably aware the Artist formerly known as

AMP but currently posting under the alias of Pam has undertaken to read the above poem aloud whlie dressed as Pam Ayres if €3000 is Pledged on to The Santa Strike Force fund on This Thread

The current standing is that around €2500 Euro has been pledged and so another €500 will see the target reached and poor old Pam will have to strut her stuff at the Boards Beer. Don't worry if you can not make the Beers as picture will be a plenty after the event and who knows maybe even a video will surface after the event. Every donation is appreciated and every liitle bit helps so please if you can help you can pledge using the SSF image in my sig or direct transfer to the SSF dedicate bank account. (see link below)

Some People may wish to keep their donations private so if anyone wants to make a anonymous donation just send a PM to me and I will include your pledge in the total under anonymous pledges. The only person your username will be passed on to is DeVore for accounting purposes.

As part of the fund raising process Mr. Pudding has pledged to play Poker in drag and not tell anyone at the table the reason behind his apparent his sex change. Full details available and Pledges taken on the Amp to Pam thread. These pledges also go towards the €3000 total for pams poem.

Amp To Recite Poem Pledges
Bank Account
The Santa Strike Force

therecklessone

This is a very good cause folks, and all help is greatly appreciated.

Good stuff out of The Muppet for spreading the word. +rep for the man!

simu

I always thought it was "the pearlies beneath".

The Muppet

simu wrote:

I always thought it was "the pearlies beneath".

Beruthiel is the resident Boards Pam Ayres expert who posted the wording .Either way It''ll be funny to see pam recite the Poem. JUst €375 short of the Target Now with just over a week to go. Anyone that wishess to donate all the relevent links are in the first post on this thread

simu

I'm sure she's right. I just found it funny that I got it wrong. I may donate money but is it a lot of hassle getting connected to pay pal?

The Muppet

simu wrote:

I'm sure she's right. I just found it funny that I got it wrong. I may donate money but is it a lot of hassle getting connected to pay pal?

The Target of €3000 fot this particular event was realised yesterday afternoon so the entertainment for anyone attending the next Beers has been secured .

Don't let that stop you helping or donating to the SSF if you want. its a fantastic cause and there are lots of ways anyone that wishes to help can. You can get the details HERE .