Is it love???

colourful days

It all started 4 and a half years ago (JULY). I was at a friends house party and met this girl. we ended up being together that night and the following day went our ways. The next Saturday night however we met again, one thing led to another and another one night stand.

U see i was happy being single and getting laid every so often. I was going travelling to America in January with too friends and we were going to have a ball. But this girl and I kept having 1 night stands for a month or two until the phone calls started. B4 we knew it we were in a relationship. She knew I was going travelling in a couple of months, but she too was also going travelling.

Now, its getting close to January and I want to have no ties while Im travelling with the lads. So, I break it off. Obviously there's heartbreak and so on. Now, She's gone on her travells two weeks before I leave fo my travells.

Here's where the **** hits the fan. As soon as shes gone I am out that saturday night and have a one night stand with some slut, and another one the following Saturday night with another slut.
Now I knew I had a guilty "Conscience" ( not sure if i splet that right ) but I was not prepared for what the next 5 months had in store... Every day I weeped inside like a baby over what I did.. I broke it off with the most beautiful girl I had ever met and then lowerd my self to the standards of these two things. what was I going to do... I had to fix this guilt and make it go away...

Then after days of twoing and frowing between decisions i decided to go to where she was and try and get back with her.. So I did, I got back with her, travelled half way round the world to do so. I told here a year later about what I did after she left and obviously she was devistated, but she forgave me.

Now were still together, 4 years on, back in Ireland, shes in college and im working away. we see each other on the weekend.

U see my problem is this.... Am I with her just because I felt guilty and instead of telling her straight up, took the easy option out of the guilt?
Am I really in Love with her? What is Love, I dont wake up in the morning with a smile on my face. I dont get excited, like she does, when we get to see each other. I watch porn, I gerk off, but isnt that what most guys ( single or not ) do at my age?
I do know one thing though. I adore her, I love her way of life, I cant bare the thought of another guy being with her. We have great fun together, great adventures and shes a babe. I would be happy spending the rest of my life with her, but am i ready to do that...should I take some time out to find my true self, but what if she meets someone in the mean time...? Should I go to down under for a year with the lads... I dont know.., Help

WhiteWashMan

i think you need to look deep into yourself, and ask those questions.
only then will you know true inner peace.

KlodaX

colourful days wrote:

met this girl. we ended up being together that night and the following day went our ways. The next Saturday night however we met again, one thing led to another and another one night stand.

... so she was a one night stand?

Here's where the **** hits the fan. As soon as shes gone I am out that saturday night and have a one night stand with some slut, and another one the following Saturday night with another slut.

and then lowerd my self to the standards of these two things.

what.. only then?



I think you really like her. Only problem is you are a gimp.

Thats her problem.

Unpossible

Am I with her just because I felt guilty and instead of telling her straight up, took the easy option out of the guilt?

I dont think so, the months spent without her would have made you get over it if it had just been guilt.

I watch porn, I gerk off, but isnt that what most guys ( single or not ) do at my age?

well if your only meeting on weekends and your not getting any during the week.....

Am I really in Love with her? What is Love

well, I cant define it (despite having once been in love), I go by the theory: "if it feels right, then keep going"

I dont wake up in the morning with a smile on my face.

even love is never easy sailing, do you smile/feel happy when you wake up next to her?

in the end the decision will be up to you, be careful not to f**k it all up

Nasty_Girl

Ok this will sound awful but I'm gonna say "no" it's not love. I was in a relationship for a year with one nighters, endless phone calls breaking it off and both of us chickening out more than once. I thought that was love but it wasn't. I found this out when I met my current boyfriend, I don't need to ask "Is this love" because I already know it is. I could be way out on this though but I think if you really loved her you'd know for sure deep down inside......I could be wrong though, best of luck with it anyway, whatever you decide.

Plastic Scouser

Nasty_Girl wrote:

I don't need to ask "Is this love" because I already know it isQUOTE]

Exactamundo!!!!!

Ren0

The way you talk about her makes it seem like you love her alot.

Don't give it up man.

IrishMike

colourful days wrote:

I do know one thing though. I adore her, I love her way of life, I cant bare the thought of another guy being with her. We have great fun together, great adventures and shes a babe. I would be happy spending the rest of my life with her

Dont really know if this is what you want to hear mate, but that sure sounds like
being in love with me. If i ever found (find) a girl like that i would probably be
done on one knee. If the feeling lasts for another few months then i would
have to say its love. Dodgy thing about love though is as quick as you can fall in
love, you can also fall out of love.
She sounds great though, best of luck!

Tiriel

IrishMike wrote:

Dont really know if this is what you want to hear mate, but

see that's the thing. It's as if you want to hear that you need time to mature as an individual.. go out and play the field... then settle down when the time is right and you are a bit older and more experienced.

Is that the right thing to do? will you regret it if you lose her? will you regret it even more and despise her if you don't go and live your life?

sceptre

colourful days wrote:

As soon as shes gone I am out that saturday night and have a one night stand with some slut, and another one the following Saturday night with another slut.

You realise that you're the slut, right?

DapperGent

No, no, no sceptre. Only girls can be sluts.

pickarooney

Plastic Scouser wrote:

Nasty_Girl wrote:

I don't need to ask "Is this love" because I already know it isQUOTE]

Exactamundo!!!!!

Let's not forget that you're girls though, so that hippy crap isn't really relevant to Mr. Notaslut.

No two loves are the same, so nobody can tell you whether you're in or out of it. The fact that you're not sure because there's so many other things you want to do is normal though. It's natural to (think you) want everything, especially the things you can't have. You may get the mellow feeling of acceptance washing over you one day (hey, I can do hippy crap too) when you come to terms with the fact that there are many many things you will never do, and be happy with what you have.

Sleepy

Read High Fidelity. Then read Man and Boy. Get them and your head should be sorted out nicely.

skywalker

colourful days wrote:

I adore her, I would be happy spending the rest of my life with her,

thats all you need to know tbh.

seamus

I'm a man. I have a girlfriend. I don't get excited like she does when we see eachother, and I don't wake up with a smile on my face. That's not because I don't love her, that's because I'm a man, and emotion comes very differently to men.

The best way I can put it is that I *do* get excited when I see her, but in a male way (and no, not in *that* male excited way you dirty buggers, that comes after). I do wake up happy in the morning, but it's not the first thing in my head, because emotion is way down on my list of priorites. It's so far down on my list that most of the time I don't even notice it's there.

Your last paragraph says it all. Your problem is that you're afraid of commitment.

I would be happy spending the rest of my life with her, but am i ready to do that...should I take some time out to find my true self, but what if she meets someone in the mean time...? Should I go to down under for a year with the lads... I dont know..,

Why the hesitation? Take it from me, it wouldn't be worth it to break up with her "to find yourself". Those words are another way of saying, "What if she's not the one, what if someone else is better for me?". You can't leave a relationship to go shag a whole pile of other punters and expect it to be there when you come back.

Ask yourself - Is it worth losing her for the sake of having sex with a few other women, and a summer of craic with the lads?

Nasty_Girl

pickarooney wrote:

Let's not forget that you're girls though, so that hippy crap isn't really relevant to Mr. Notaslut.

No two loves are the same, so nobody can tell you whether you're in or out of it.

Well if that's the case then surely people can't exactly go on boards and ask "Is it love?" because according to you we're not authorized to answer?
All we can do is offer from our own experience and hope that it helps.

pickarooney

They can ask away, and you can answer to your heart's content, but all it ever is is moral support or the oppsite. You can't describe emotions any more than you can colours, they're different for everyone, and unlike colours, they're constantly evolving.

It's easy enough to convince yourself you're in love, that you're fat, that you're a failure, or even that somebody else loves you. It doesn't necessarily make it true.
You can wait all your life for some magical butterfly feeling, for your heart to explode in rapture at the mere thought of another human being and never find it. It doesn't mean you've not found love.

How many times have you heard of people saying they "just know" they're in love with someone and when it's all over going "I don't know what I ever saw in him/her"?

Nasty_Girl

pickarooney wrote:

They can ask away, and you can answer to your heart's content, but all it ever is is moral support or the oppsite. You can't describe emotions any more than you can colours, they're different for everyone, and unlike colours, they're constantly evolving.

It's easy enough to convince yourself you're in love, that you're fat, that you're a failure, or even that somebody else loves you. It doesn't necessarily make it true.
You can wait all your life for some magical butterfly feeling, for your heart to explode in rapture at the mere thought of another human being and never find it. It doesn't mean you've not found love.

How many times have you heard of people saying they "just know" they're in love with someone and when it's all over going "I don't know what I ever saw in him/her"?

Fair enough, but I just know, genuinely and even if he turned around tomorrow and told me to f**k i wouldn't regret a minute of what we've had

pickarooney

Fair play to you, it's nice to hear.

I presume there's an "off" missing from your last post

Nasty_Girl

pickarooney wrote:

Fair play to you, it's nice to hear.

I presume there's an "off" missing from your last post

Oh yeah! Whooops! I was in an oul bit of hurry there!!

seamus

I tell my gf to f*** all the time. She likes that.

Nasty_Girl

seamus wrote:

I tell my gf to f*** all the time. She likes that.

I bet she does!

DapperGent

The dirty bitch.

Beruthiel

is PI spam central today?! :eek:

get back on topic you wasters!
B