How much alcohol.....

savemejebus · 05-11-2004 3:06pm #1

Ok so you've done something/someone stupid and you've been caught (on cctv, by a mates girlfriend, by parents) how much alcohol should you say you've drunk to put a better light on it

seamus · 05-11-2004 3:09pm

"Oh jaysus, I'm ****in locked"

Usually works for me.

Zombienosh · 05-11-2004 3:10pm

7 longboats full

onward! - pillage and plunder the towns

woosaysdan · 05-11-2004 3:10pm

just say and to think i wasnt even drunk then

Ro: maaan! · 05-11-2004 3:12pm

woosaysdan's location tbh.

savemejebus · 05-11-2004 3:15pm

is "i don't remember" quantifiable

woosaysdan · 05-11-2004 3:17pm

only in some situations!!!

savemejebus · 05-11-2004 3:23pm

oh no this is starting to sound like algebra mmmm bra...

Spalk0 · 05-11-2004 3:49pm

If caught turn to the girl im doing and say "Oh Sh*t, Who the F**k are you?" then scarper out of the room chanting "Oh god, oh god, oh god" that way they would either think ive lost my mind or hadnt the foggiest idea what i was doing!

woosaysdan · 05-11-2004 3:50pm

what do you call that thing where you cant remember anything?

Spalk0 · 05-11-2004 3:52pm

amnesia?

woosaysdan · 05-11-2004 3:52pm

thats it!!! i suffer from what did you say again?

savemejebus · 05-11-2004 3:53pm

what do you call that thing where you cant remember anything?

embarassment or being caught? one or the other

Healio · 05-11-2004 3:54pm

savemejebus wrote:

Ok so you've done something/someone stupid and you've been caught (on cctv, by a mates girlfriend, by parents) how much alcohol should you say you've drunk to put a better light on it

can you explain the situation a bit further?

savemejebus · 05-11-2004 3:59pm

ok it's quite simple. basically you and your mate have videotaped you shagging his girlfriend when she thought she was cheating on him even thought he'd set the thing up and your parents have found out cos you forgot to take the tape out of the video player and they've mixed it up with the video of karens wedding and have gone to watch it at their friends house who just happen to be the parents of your mates girlfriend and she ended up almost choking on her pasta when she brought her dinner into the sitting room to watch home and away but in fact ended up finding your parents and her parents watching a video of her doing it doggystyle with a guy that wasnt her boyfriend

see simple

woosaysdan · 05-11-2004 8:18pm

is this before or after i stop laughing?

savemejebus · 05-11-2004 10:57pm

s'not funny, could lead to emotional scarring in later life, not to mention physical scarring in the short term

PFJSplitter · 21-04-2010 9:40pm

Ooops! Not enough, obviously.......hic!

Deki · 22-04-2010 12:01am

If it is true you did this and you were dumb enough to let it get into your parents hands and then to be taken to her parents house for a viewing there is not really enough alcohol in the world to put it in a better light.:) It has, however caused me to laugh, as it will everyone I tell this story to as well.:D;)

Solitaire · 22-04-2010 12:19am

Holy crap... :eek:

Please, if you ever come back to tCN after your five-year absence, please look up the definition "self-owned"

BongBoyJay · 22-04-2010 12:49am

im guessing you where caught doing someone by a m8's girlfriend???

you could try the old i cant remember anything, or you could try i was hammered and when i realised what i was doin i stoped, but no1 really cares if your where tooo drunk and all that sh!t. They always say well i guess you shouldnt have got so drunk then.. well that's in my case anyway..

hope this helps.

savemejebus · 22-04-2010 8:21am

Solitaire wrote: »

Holy crap... :eek:

Please, if you ever come back to tCN after your five-year absence, please look up the definition "self-owned"

Wow, this is awkward, after the violence resulting from the original issue a completely undeserved head-trauma had totally erased all memories of the original post, and indeed the existence of the cuckoos nest.

But now...it's all come rushing back and it all feels as raw and painful as it did on the first day...especially the broken banjo string.

I fear that the resurrection of this zombie thread has affected me deeply, both spiritually and emotionally and, to my eternal woe, i believe it has taken my ability to look up all definitions that could possibly cast my actions in a humourously embarassing light...i hope it's temporary but my god, what happens if i never regain the ability to look up the definition of "self owned"

Solitaire · 22-04-2010 12:49pm

I knew Split's temper tantrum would end badly! :eek:

Me and jebus: Naughty Split, don't play with the stuff in The Closet Full Of Skeletons!!!
PFJSplitter: BWAHAHAHA!!! *thread-necros everything*
Me and jebus: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!??!?1!
PFJSplitter: MWAHAHA!! This will show you Sarky!!!!!
Me and jebus: NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT-
PFJSplitter:
so-i-just-divide-by-zero-and-then-demotivational-poster-1216891861.jpg