Lost in War - A star wars short story.

Memnoch

Well, here it is, the third installment of the series. Btw if my stories are boring you guys please let me know and i'll stop spamming the board with em :P

Enjoy

http://forums.station.sony.com/swg/board/message?board.id=jedi&message.id=629982

Gaijin

Another great story.

I felt it moved at a different pace to the other installments and was a quite a different story. I read the comments after and I know you said it would all tie in soon, :eek: don't keep me waiting too long!
The only criticism (and I use that word reluctantly) is that I feel it moves too quickly for a reader to develop and understand the characters fully. I hope you know what I mean by this.
But overall another very entertaining and thrilling read with ....roll on installment 4

Memnoch

Gaijin wrote:

Another great story.

I felt it moved at a different pace to the other installments and was a quite a different story. I read the comments after and I know you said it would all tie in soon, :eek: don't keep me waiting too long!
The only criticism (and I use that word reluctantly) is that I feel it moves too quickly for a reader to develop and understand the characters fully. I hope you know what I mean by this.
But overall another very entertaining and thrilling read with ....roll on installment 4

thanks for the honest critique. My only "defence" is that originally the story was meant to be an introduction to the charecter of the narrator, as he has an important part to play later on. Off course in doing so I inadvertently ended up creating two more charecters that I liked a bit so I ended up creating the whole story around them. All this happened as I wrote the story though Because initially this entire story was to be told in simply one or two paragrahps as the beginning of the introduction to the narrator's charecter but my imagination ended up running away with itself.

But you are right, now that I have created these charecters its only fair to them to offer a bit more insight into them, though I have no concrete ideas how to do that for Hoshi as yet, I have definate plans for Isruan.

As for the next installment, well its a matter of time Though probably nothing until atleast next weekend.

Gaijin

No need to "defend" it at all. Sure you are the author and know where it is all leading to. Still it really doesn't take anything away from the story. I said before that it felt (well at least to me) like a different type to the installments before, so of course it was going to be a little different(by that I mean the pace and action). Also it does work as a very good introduction to the chararcter.

Looking forward to the next installment.

And from one star wars nerd to another, thanks for the great read!