Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
I'm being set-up :-o
-
04-11-2004 1:28am#1As the title says, i'm about to get set up with a friend of a friends. But am REALLY nervous about the whole thing.
I was at a friend of mines party last week. Lets call her Jone for the moment. a few days afterwards jone came up to me and told me flat out that her friend jean (who was at the party) "really likes me". For the life of me i can't remember what jean looks like, or even remember talking to her. No, i wasn;t drinking, so its not that i was too drunk to remember.
Anyway, i'm now being "set up" with her, and (as much as it hurts to say it) ive never "met" a girl before if you know what i mean. Theres two things i'm worried about.
1) If i don't like her, how the **** do i say no without embarressing either her or me. I currently have a quasi-plan that if it doesn't work out (i.e. i think she looks like a dog which ran into a parked car a few times to many) i'm going to get a friend of mine to come over and be all flirty with me, and basically try to make it look like i'm taken. What do ye think of that?
2) If i do like her, what the **** do i do then! We're all heading to the cinema tomorrow. So i don't know. I am famously ****e at all this relationship nonsense
At the moment, i'm really really thinking about not going to this outing tomorrow. I'm a fair bit aprehensive about the whole thing. Aaagh, i need help.
EDIT: and for those of you who know me (unfortunately this topic will be quite recognisable for those of you that do). Just let on you never read this. I'd feel better then 0
Comments
-
-
set-up-guy wrote:i think she looks like a dog which ran into a parked car a few times to many
Got a mental image of "Jean"
Theres no need to be worried. I think everyone handles the relationship bs differently. Don't do anything your not comfortable with. If its not working for ya tell her that. If it is then keep smiling.
Good luck.0 -
You don't have to do anything you don't want to... just think of it as an introduction to this person under favorable circumstances and whatever happens, happens.
And if she's a bit rough, just think of it as practice
It's all the same when it's dark anyway.0 -
What I would suggest- if you really are as nervous as you say, meeting up in a group for the first time, may possibly not be the best of ideas.
How would you feel about getting her mobile number and suggesting you meet up prior to the group of ye going to the cinema. I'd seriously suggest not meeting in a pub- maybe over coffee, in a public place, but somewhere quiet enough, that sitting and talking for a while would not be impeded.
In all honesty- its quite possible that she is every bit as terrified as you are- so discovering a little common ground on which to break the ice would not go astray.
If it works, brilliant- if it doesn't- hell, look on it as a learning experience.
A friend of mine had a policy of asking for a date with virtually every girl he encountered, sometimes without ever having met them. Unsurprisingly more often than not he was told where to go uncermoniously. However- the odd time the girl said yes, and hence he had a far more interesting and active social calendar than any of us.
No real moral to the story there- apart from- put your best foot forward- yes, you might get knocked back, and if you do don't dwell on it, but you might also have a great time.
Don't worry after all- its a date, you're not asking her to marry you (not now anyhow )
Be calm and be yourself.
S.0 -
-
Advertisement
-
set-up-guy wrote:As the title says, i'm about to get set up with a friend of a friends. But am REALLY nervous about the whole thing.
I was at a friend of mines party last week. Lets call her Jone for the moment. a few days afterwards jone came up to me and told me flat out that her friend jean (who was at the party) "really likes me". For the life of me i can't remember what jean looks like, or even remember talking to her. No, i wasn;t drinking, so its not that i was too drunk to remember.
Anyway, i'm now being "set up" with her, and (as much as it hurts to say it) ive never "met" a girl before if you know what i mean. Theres two things i'm worried about.
1) If i don't like her, how the **** do i say no without embarressing either her or me. I currently have a quasi-plan that if it doesn't work out (i.e. i think she looks like a dog which ran into a parked car a few times to many) i'm going to get a friend of mine to come over and be all flirty with me, and basically try to make it look like i'm taken. What do ye think of that?
2) If i do like her, what the **** do i do then! We're all heading to the cinema tomorrow. So i don't know. I am famously ****e at all this relationship nonsense
At the moment, i'm really really thinking about not going to this outing tomorrow. I'm a fair bit aprehensive about the whole thing. Aaagh, i need help.
EDIT: and for those of you who know me (unfortunately this topic will be quite recognisable for those of you that do). Just let on you never read this. I'd feel better then
Dude - relax, if it works out, take it as it comes & enjoy it - if it doesn't no big deal.... Look - the worst thing that happens is that you guys don't hit it off & there's a rip roaring row.... big whoop!!
Personally though - I TOTALLY dislike the whole idea of 'going to the cinema' for a first date, as it's such a cheesy way out of having to actually talk to the person for nearly 2 hours. I used to think it was 'cool' to take a girl to the cinema for a first date, now years later I know why. I used to be totally scared ****less to engage in non-platonic conversations with women, but like everything you can let your fear take hold or you can build a bridge, get over it & deal with it.....
So - go enjoy yourself, relax, be yourself & don't second guess yourself - let her get to knwo thr real you & if she digs it, excellent - if not - your a bloke & therefore a fisherman; you got a rod, go fishing again & again & again & again until you catch something you like
::: ven0mous :::0 -
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
Gav99 wrote:If you don't like the girl when you meet her, 4 simple words should do the trick - "I am a necrophile".
A mate of mine does something similar except he tells them he's a paedo - & he doesn't restrict the usage to 'fobbing' women off he doesn't wanna f**k - oh no, he uses it when he just wants women to f**k off away from him when they come over to him trying to get his attention..... it's starting to wierd me out, along with the rest of the guys
::: ven0mous :::0 -
-
-
-
-
This is a golden oppertunity. It's pretty much a win-win situation for you
Absolutely not. If you don't like her, just carry on with the date as normal anyway. Now all the pressure is off you, and you won't have to feel nervous. You'll have gotten the arkward first time out of the way, and this will be excellent practice for next time you go out with someone. Don't worry too much about telling her you're not interested, you rarely have to do it. Most of the time she'll be able to tell, just try not to give her the wrong impression and don't say you'd like to go out again sometime if you've no intention to. If you do have to tell her you're not interested, just be honest and upfront. As long as you're not a complete asshole about it, she'll probably take it very well . She's not going to be slitting her wrists over it, you won't have made that much of an impression on her in the last few hours. She may not even been all that intested either.set-up-guy wrote:1) If i don't like her, how the **** do i say no without embarressing either her or me. I currently have a quasi-plan that if it doesn't work out (i.e. i think she looks like a dog which ran into a parked car a few times to many) i'm going to get a friend of mine to come over and be all flirty with me, and basically try to make it look like i'm taken. What do ye think of that?
Then you just enjoy yourself. Treat it no differently than going to the cinema with your mates. If you try and seduce her with no experience under your belt you'll most likely fall flat on your face (if not my hats off to you). Just see how things go. There is a fairly decent chance she won't be interested. Most guys will get as many misses as hits, such is life. You've go absolutely nothing to lose though. You didn't even know this girl existed a few days ago, so what if she doesn't like you. Feel good about the fact that she asked you out (in a roundabout way), learn from any mistakes you make, and don't worry so much about it next time.2) If i do like her, what the **** do i do then! We're all heading to the cinema tomorrow. So i don't know. I am famously ****e at all this relationship nonsense
If she does like you too however, you're sorted.0 -
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
Advertisement