out maneuvered

LegacyUser

Ive been spending alot more time lately with one of the lads im friends with and our friendship has started to suffer.

We had a talk and i thought things got better, back to normal. They didnt and i fear hes trying to turn my other friends against me.

Hes doing a very good job of out maneuvering me. \the lads are giving me BS excuses why they cant meet up.

Advise?

gandalf

Ditch him !!! If your other friends do not realise what he is like ditch them, they aren't friends.

Mutz

Hmmm - Hard one there.

Just be yourself around him and your m8s. He's obviously trying to make you out to be the baddy by making you act weird and paranoid.

You should make it obvious that you are there for him, (this may not be so, but act), but mostly there for your m8s.

Have you said any of this to your m8's or is there anyone in the group you can relate this to?

P.s. sorry for the use of 'm8' - i know it can get irritating

Etain

I'd stay clear and let them learn from harsh experience just what he's really like. If he's such a game-player, it shouldn't take long. If you try to explain what he's done, you will look like the villian who has no concern for a friend in need of support.
Maybe it's time to look around and meet some new people. Good luck.

Beruthiel

what gandalf said
you are in college, you have the best chance to make some real friends. You can't call him a friend anymore, not if he treats you like this. What's his problem anyway, can you think of any reason why he would behave in this manner?

LegacyUser

yeah i agree with the others advice about getting new some new friends.make some casual friends and every now and again go for a drink etc with them.dont let the f&cker think he has beaten you - act like there is nothing up and you are getting on fine.
he may slip up when he sees you are getting on with life

CathyMoran

Yep, I agree with the others advise. It is possible to get a new set of friends - throughout life I have found that you do meet new people in any case and you are in college where it is even easier - join a college society, you don't need these people.

dub45

Have to say I am a bit baffled by some of the stuff you have told us.

You use the term 'outmanoeuvered' which is an unusual one I think!

How long has this been going on? It can't be all that sudden as some of the stuff you talk about- being a bad friend. lying, not giving back money. interfering with your chances with a girl happen over a period. If I am reading your post right you were best friends with him in spite of all this?

Is there more going on here than you have told us? (Before I go any further I should say that I am in agreement with what the other posters say and that you have to move away from this guy) Is he jealous that you starting spending more time with someone else? what sort of stuff came up when you had your clear the air chat? Did he say that you were at fault for anything? I am also curious as to how the others are being so easily lead?

Most decent guys would not cooperate in a plan to leave you stranded or not answer your phone calls so what sort of hold has he been able to get over them? What is your 'best friend's role in all this has he been involved with the others in any of the outmanoeuvering?

LegacyUser

no hes not my best friend, at this stage i dont care if I ever see him again. Hes driving a wege between me an our other friends and in particular my best friend who is also in college with me. If i lost the other 3 id manage but not my best friend

Nasty_Girl

I think your mate is jealous of you. If I were you I'd communicate to the group that you're there for them but gently edge away and try make new friends, it's easier than you think! If your old friends ask what's goin on, why you don't hang out with them anymore etc, simply reply that you were just gettin on with things. I don't think they are really your friends, but I do think they'll be sorry when they see you've moved on. Good luck kid.

Optikus

Have a word with him the next time he starts that crap. Or just don't even bother being his mate, he obviously is a bit of a twat so if your friends choose him over you that dosent say much for them.

littleninja

I would agree with the others, that doesn't sound like something friends would do, it all seems a tad childish on their part really. Best thing you can do is just get on with things like you normally would. Once this lad sees you're not bothered about what you're doing he will stop. It's a bit sad in this day and age that people feel they need to resort to "I'm not talking to him" surely they should have left that behind them when they left primary school.

The guy who is doing this shall have a sharp wake up call some day because he will find himself alone, nobody will be prepared to believe him if he is willing to make up stories like that - in short people will start not to trust him, after all if he makes up stories about one guy... what's to stop him making up the same kind of rubbish for anyone else he hangs around with.

pickarooney

Are you really sure he's not seeing a councillor? Sounds to me like the problem that's getting him down is his attraction to you.

Unpossible

So if your in the same college as your best friend, why not just hang around with him? You will lose and make a lot of friends in college, some people who you thought would be there for the rest of your life will drift away, others you will fall out with. Just stay positive and have more than one ring of friends.

Sounds to me like the problem that's getting him down is his attraction to you.

I thought that too when I read:

always trys to stop me scoring with a girl.

But then that wouldnt explain the other behaviour, would it? (Im not being sarcastic I genuinly dont know)

tovalee

pickarooney wrote:

Are you really sure he's not seeing a councillor? Sounds to me like the problem that's getting him down is his attraction to you.

i was kinda thinking the same thing. Is there any chance he could have romantic feelings for you? Especially the bit about him trying to keep you from meeting girls. Sounds like he's jealous. If he does care for you that way,and hasnt come out , he may be in denial or feeling depressed or guilty about his feelings. That can cause people to act strange. ..just a thought.