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the onion: US '04 election special

  • 28-10-2004 10:42pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭


    some gems in here, including:

    "Documents Reveal Gaps In Bush's Service
    As President",

    and

    "Kerry's Face Droops With Joy
    Over Latest Polls".

    enjoy!

    http://www.theonion.com/election2004/


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,842 ✭✭✭steveland?


    From now on i want to be the incumbent steveD


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    i think some of them are amazing, like "Kerry apoints 1969 version of himself as running mate". its the best thing ever.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,842 ✭✭✭steveland?


    Lol. Thats just marvelous :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    it is though. they did this "History special" some years ago, with different newsparper front for each year. some calssics were
    "1959: Cambodia switches to 'skull'-based' currency", or [about the Titanic]

    "Crash! worlds largest metaphor hits ice!".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,880 ✭✭✭Raphael


    "Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If Kerry Elected"

    Classic


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,842 ✭✭✭steveland?


    I'm liking this site actually. My particular favourite so far is Bush Addresses 8.2 Million Unemployed: 'Get A Job'


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 18,002 Mod ✭✭✭✭ixoy


    Hah: 'Republicans Urge Minorities to Get Out And Vote On Nov. 3'. :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    from the history book:

    1900: A New Century Dawns! McKinley Ushers in Bold New "Coal Age"

    "The Machine: Will It Replace the China-Man?"

    "Stalin Announces Five-Year 'Everybody Dies' Plan."

    "Kennedy Slain by CIA, Mafia, Castro, LBJ, Teamsters, Freemasons."

    "Mr. T Releases 'Pity List '86.'"

    Martin Luther King: "I Had a Really Weird Dream Last Night"

    Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria Boasts: "No Man Can Stop Me"



    and for the moon landing:
    moon landing


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    OJFIND2.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,838 ✭✭✭DapperGent


    The Onion is just spectacular.

    Our Dumb Century has to be one of my favourite books of all time.

    "Hitler tames the Polish Menace"


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    DapperGent wrote:
    The Onion is just spectacular.

    Our Dumb Century has to be one of my favourite books of all time.

    "Hitler tames the Polish Menace"


    if you look at the back theres a review from the guys who wrote Father Ted.

    "Clinton feels nations pain, breasts"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,862 ✭✭✭mycroft


    DapperGent wrote:
    The Onion is just spectacular.

    Our Dumb Century has to be one of my favourite books of all time.

    It's my book by the toilet for the last year.

    "Sinatra warns ruskies "knock off this commie bunk or it's ring a ding dong for you bozos""


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    my dad gave it away to my boss.. im gonna go and buy another copy RIGHT NOW!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,746 ✭✭✭pork99


    Remember the story they did in Jan 2001?

    Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

    How do they do it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,438 ✭✭✭TwoShedsJackson


    I think 'Lewinksy subpoenaed to re-blow Clinton on Senate floor' is one of my favourites. Or any of T. Hermann Zweibel's legendary editorials :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 131 ✭✭nutkase


    It's a close race its comming down the final stretch, poor ole george is sweating bullets come on spin doctors give me something to say that will seal the deal then it comes to him inspiration from his Daddy: "Read my lips no new wars"


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