I'm so confused.

crazybaby

Hey i need some help.

I really like this guy i work with but im so confused on what to do.
One of his friends told me that he liked me and i was delighted. He (the guy i like) gave me his number and i gave him mine its extremly unlike me but the next day i texted him asking how he was bla bla and he said fine and asked me what i was doin. I said i was doing nothing and he invited me to his house so i went along. When i got there, two of his friends were there which i didnt mind. we got along grand and it seemed like he was flirting with me a bit. We seen each other a bit in work not to much though but he was always very pleasant to me. the next week myself and a few of the lads from work were invited over to his house so we all went. one by one people started leaving and then there was just 3 people left. the two of us were having a laugh and i was getting the impression he really liked me and my mate kept sayin to me that she couldnt believe how much he was flirting with me. he had to go to the shop for food and he bought whatever i got for me. Now the thing is i was in the perfect situation to kiss him but i didnt because im kinda shy and would never make the first move. the next day in work he was flirting with me again. i was to shy to ask him was he interested or not so my mate texted him and asked him and he said he didnt know... now today when we were in work he was really weird towards me. Like he was kinda avoiding me and not really talking to me. So now i dont no wat to think anymore.

Im really confused on whether he likes me or not. Im far to shy to ask him what the story is myself and im terrified of being rejected because if he said no i know that everyone in work would probably find out (because most of them know how much i like him) and i'd be to embarressed to go back in....

any ideas on what i should do ? or do u think he likes me? or am i just kidding myself?

chump

well now is as good a time as ever to get over your shyness...

so speak out, even do it via text message of you can't do it over the fone...

i don't think fellas go much for the friend of the friend doing the communicating for the pair...

crazybaby

Im not a shy person in general (like most people would consider me the least unshy person they know) im just shy when it comes to guys that i really like because im terrified of being rejected.


I would love to ask him but its seems at the moment that he's not interested

uberwolf

if it weren't for the confusion caused by working with him, I'd say go for it and you should have gone for it.

But you are working with him, so it's worth being cautious. Particularly if he's a superior.

RE*AC*TOR

Fortune favours the brave. You've nothing to lose, worst comes to worst a little embarassment. He sounds kinda shy too. Your friend texting him to ask if he likes you is just silly, silly schoolyard stuff. You're a grown woman, have a little confidence in yourself. At least you'll feel better for having conducted yourself with dignity.

SprostonGreen

Maybe he was feeling crap today, was running late for work, didnt have time to shower or brush his teeth and he felt self-concious in front of you.

It sounds like he's into you, but he doesnt have to act like a love-sick puppy all the time.

b3t4

For your own sanity just ask him. It's sooo much easier and saves both of ye a lot of time.

It appears to me that you are already slightly embarrassed about the whole situation so my thoughts are there is nothing to loose.

Work people will not care if you don't care. People get bored very easily, especially if they aren't getting anything out of the jibes and sniggers.

Give it a go. Just ask yourself this, are you willing to loose the chance of being with him because you couldn't ask him if he liked you or not?? Life's way too short girl.

A.

Memnoch

i agree, its better to find out, because otherwise you will keep agonising over it. Using your friend as a go between isn't really a great idea.

At worst you will be rejected, and maybe it will be a bit embaressing and all that but its no big deal tbh.

At best you might get what you wanted.

I'd say its well worth the risk, and he sounds like a decent bloke I don't think he would be an ass about it tbh.

Nuttzz

crazybaby wrote:

.....because im terrified of being rejected.

You and the rest of the planet, dont you think he might feel the same way?

Sleepy

Who dares wins. If you live your entire life afraid of being rejected, you'll get nowhere in it because you're afraid of living. Don't be so damn defeatist and have a go.

And, as RE*AC*TOR said, getting a friend to text him is really childish stuff. Of course he texted back "I don't know", he was afraid of a piss-taking himself.

If you've a mad crush on this guy and all of your workmates know it already, you don't lose anything by trying it. You look like a coward not trying to do something about the way you feel. I've done the whole going out with someone you work with bit and you'll get a teasing whatever happens. whether you do nothing, do something and get rejected or end up marrying the guy.

Roll with the punches and live your life. Be grateful you get the chance to.

crazybaby

Thanks for all the advice. Im back in work on Monday so im thinking will i text him or wait until Monday and ask him to his face??

Beruthiel

texting is for teenagers
talk to him face to face!

Drapper

Ask him to his face.............. it will work trust me !!!

Sleepy

Text him asking is there any craic, what's he doing for the weekend, how he is etc. but don't go saying something like "I fancy you" in the texts at all.

With any luck if you ask him what he's up to for the weekend he'll text back some kind of invite to do something... if that happens, you can bet the mortgage he likes you. If it doesn't, it could just mean he has something on that he can't get out of. It's always good to send the odd text though, lets him know you're thinking about him and keeps you in his mind

crazybaby

I no he's gone away for the weekend with some friends. The thing is when i have text him before (and no i never sed like "i fancy u" in them) he'll write back but at the end of the text "tlk to u tomorrow" or somthing

chump

sounds like a lost cause... and I don't think there's much of a point chasing him...

if he was really into you he'd be txt'ing you all nite
i think it may be time to move on
best of luck

Tusky

Why oh why did you get your friend to txt him ?!?!? thats idiotic! How old are you ? I reccomend inviting him out with you and your friends to the pub or something. Get pissed and go for it !

CathyMoran

Getting your friend to text him may not have been the best move, even if it was understandable. He may have felt a bit akward himself? It is probably better to see if you can go out in with him again in a group situation and take it from there. Alternatively you can ask him - if he says no, it is his loss after all and there is no shame in it. Can understand how you might be shy though - i'm 30 and I still blush

Etain

Do you know exactly what she said to him? Maybe he thinks she might be interested in him. He may think that you've passed him over to her-- not a good move to get someone else involved. Talk to him face to face as soon as you can. Good luck.

NocturnalDonkey

He could be shy too. He doesn't want to make the first move either...

And now that he knows that you fancy him, and he knows that you know, then he might find it hard to flirt with you now. So things are a little awkward between you two.

Drapper

How did it go to-day???

crazybaby

I was workin in a different office today so i didnt see him. I dont even know if he was in today..i'll just have to wait untill tomorrow

crazybaby

i tried to talk to him 2day but it was like he didnt want to talk to me so i think this is a lost cause and i should just give or at least wait until he makes a move

CathyMoran

It's his loss...

WhiteWashMan

ask him out on a date. go for coffee. talk to him about football.
none of these things can hurt.

fletch

If you wanna be a complete desperate....send him a message that was "meant" for one of your girlfs....ie "Hey <insert m8s name>, Bla bla bla....yeh I really like him but you know I never make the first move & I don't think he does either. I really like him but don't know what to do"
He'll think you sent it to him by accident & it "might" get things moving along....best of all he'll know your true feelings....but personally I'd go with the speaking to him face to face.....it's jus an option

crazybaby

I was told today that he's seein a girl that he met over the weekend...dunno if its serious or not. Maybe i should have acted sooner

The Clown Man

No no, hang on.

The reason his attitude has changed I'm sure is because of your mate texting him. He probably got a bit freaked out thinking that everyone wanted to set you two up. I know I probably would.

Best thing to do would be to tell him you should go out for a drink again sometime cause you had a laugh the last few times. Tell him in a "mates"ey way. He'll most likely be comfortable with that. And most likely actually does want to see you again but is still uncomfortable with how he might start talking to you again cause he thinks the whole thing has fncked up.

Seriously, ask him in a friendly way. Never mind the "tell him how you feel" crap - he obviously gets freaked by this type of stuff easy. You've seen that already! Just a "here we have to go for a drink again sometime, have a bit of a laugh" and he'll be delighted to talk to you again.

If, on the very off chance, he is still fairly cold, he is obviously a pussy who scares way too easily. Though I seriously doubt that will happen.

crazybaby

hey...yeh i think he might of got a bit freaked out aswell .im gonna try get him and everyone from work to go out again some night together and i'll see how it goes then

ive a awful feeling though lately that he's a bit of a "player"

The Clown Man

From what you have said of him I would guess he is one that doesn't want to get in a relationship. If it sounds like it may get serious he wants out. Also, your reference to "player" would help confirm that!

To be honest he sounds exactly like the way I am at the moment! I'll bolt if I think that a girl wants a "boyfriend!" I found myself out of a 5 year relationship 2 years ago and I just want the next few years to myself. Having said that, I did get into a relationship with a girl there for 5 months. I just really liked her and we got on really well. (And she was DAMN hot!) So before I knew it we were going out and I think with her it was getting really serious. I really didn't want to get caught up in a relationship and I was pretty sure that she was not "the one" for me so, although it was damn hard to do, I broke up with her recently. Now I'm single again and loving it!

Point is though, that if he likes you he will most likely be with you. If he really likes you he'll stay with you. How long? I dunno. He might realise he's had enough of being single and would prefer to be with you indefinately. Or he might do what I did and get it over with before things get too serious and people get really hurt.

Having said that, if I met a girl that I reckoned was waaaaaay too good to let anyone else have then I'd have to keep her! Never know, he might think your too good to let go... Or you might find he has the worst case of skiddy undies and his mother eats babies!

The Clown Man

Also, by the way, he could be nothing like me and I could be talking through my árse!

crazybaby

Im not looking for a relationship right now either .... (just a bit of fun lol)
ah sure i'll see how things go.

The Clown Man

Well then, Happy Days!

Anyway, good luck with it all! Hope you get your fun!