She cant make her mind up.

ChRoMe

I think I have a fair idea of whats going on but always interested in an outside view. Around June I got involved with my mates girlfriends sister. We had a great time for the first few months very lovey dovey and all that sh!te. She's still in college and had said that she didnt want anything too serious becuase she knew once college started back it being her final year and everything she wouldnt be able to give me as much time.

Thats grand. I played it real laid back coz still wanted to see her even if it was a couple of times a month. I rang about once every 2 weeks to say hello. But after a while she kept putting me off and making excuses. Not one to wait around I rang her one day and said that the way things seemed to be it would probbably be better off if we call it quits. she agree's and says that she was about to ring me and tell me the same thing.

Couple of weeks go by with no contact then on a saturday night when I have a few friends that she knows over I get a phone call from her sister (girlfriend to my mate). "hey we are having a few drinks and know your having a party can we come over and join the fun?". I was pretty surprised as I didnt think she wanted any more to do with me. I say yes they come over and within a hour or two were upstairs going at it like rabbits. My mates finish up their drinks and leave and she stays the night. This has taken me by surprise as it totally goes against everything we had said before. Anyway same thing again I play it real laid back very little contact but this time after what seemed like a change of heart I thought it could be back on. So no contact for 2 weeks I ring and hear she's not having a good time so I'm like well come on i'll take you out have a laugh etc etc i'll cheer you up. She tells me I'm wasting my time. I say fine and leave it. Last night I get 3 txts out of the blue saying she's heard how great I'm getting on (new job, car etc etc) And after I reply to one of the txts saying I'm grand I get a phone call (this is at midnight) Her really happy laughing (seemed sober!) being really friendly talking about meeting up. I was pretty cold to her but polite becuase to be honest I think she just wants to have the power to throw me back.

What u's think?

ChRoMe

RE*AC*TOR

Sounds like a bit of a cow to be honest. She sounds like she feel she can pick you up and put you down whenever she feels like it. I'd be suspicious of her being particularily friendly if you think it is becasue you have a new job etc. That would suggest she thought you were a loser previously. So she's either blowing hot and cold because she's a muppet, or she's incredibly shallow. Either way, I'd say you are wasting your time, unless you just fancy a fúck-buddy.

moridin

IMO she seems to only talk to you when she feels like it... if she really wants to be with you let her work for it a little, it's more fun like that anyway

meepmeep

Tell her to piss off. Especially since she only phoned you coz she found out you had a new job and car. Shallow cow.

Jim

Don't mean to be presumptious about her or anything, but, what was your situation financially when you were first going out with her? (house car etc etc)

skywalker

exactly what reactor said. and everyone can use a spare **** buddy btw.

Beruthiel

it's quite simple really

if you don't like being messed around then forget about her and move on

if it doesn't bother you to be messed around, then keep seeing her, but continue to get on with your life and if someone else should come along, go with that

either way, you've got one life, don't waste it on someone who is clearly not ready for any type of commitment.

scribs

Reminds me of a girl I used to know she was really not with it.
Her problem was that she loved being a drama Queen. She was always
going through emotional turmoil of some sort. Basically she didnt know what she wanted.

Your lady friend is probably a bit immature or stressed out because of exams -Me personally Id stir clear of her. However if shes got a hot little body on her could be worth hanging in there for the casual bonking session.

However If your gettin strong feelings for this girl you could be setting yourself up for a fall

Agony Aunt
Scribs

Aside: Damn im good at this advice sh*t - should have me own page in one of those glossy magazines

ChRoMe

hmm didnt quite come across the way that I wanted too. I dont think its a shallow thing about the car and stuff. My money situation and the other stuff hasnt changed **** all since I met her. What I was trying to say in the post was that she was pulling at straws for stuff to talk about like hows the new house treating you even though I've been in it since august and she'd stayed there on several occasions. I didnt do much to help the conversation along. She's a good person and I dont feel I'm being messed about because I've been with other girls since so I aint losing any sleep over her. I was just curious if anyone thinks that she's feeling guilty (or whatever it is) or she was making a stab at getting with me again. Oh and of course a **** buddy is welcome (its what we were really around the end anyway)

ChRoMe

Ps amazing response time lads everyone as busy as me in work?

RE*AC*TOR

Love is blind I would say. From the description you gave, she's has been blowing hot and cold. From the above i'd say you have some more developed feelings for her than you are letting on. She may be a nice person, but she ain't being particularily nice to you.

ChRoMe wrote:

Ps amazing response time lads everyone as busy as me in work?

Zulu

RE*AC*TOR wrote:

She may be a nice person, but she ain't being particularily nice to you.

...an absolute gem; couldn't have put it any better.

She's pricking you around.

ChRoMe

Yeah fair nuff cant fault you guys. I feel like writing a txt along the lines of "dont understand why you contacted me, not sure if i want to repeat our previous pattern" or something to that effect. I have to be a bit carefull becuase I'm VERY good friends with her older sister and her boyfriend so dont want to come across as a prick.

ChRoMe

Zulu

ChRoMe wrote:

Yeah fair nuff cant fault you guys. I feel like writing a txt along the lines of "dont understand why you contacted me, not sure if i want to repeat our previous pattern" or something to that effect. I have to be a bit carefull becuase I'm VERY good friends with her older sister and her boyfriend so dont want to come across as a prick.

ChRoMe

Just say nothing, and keep saying it. She'll back off. Be nice - but don't make moves/meet up with her. If she gets all huffy - just say you're not really in the mood for a causal affair. (Lie and make her feel better)

WhiteWashMan

i think you are over analysing. most people dont know what they want.
sometimes people want to be with someone, then they dont.

its not fun, but it happens to us all at some stage or another. i doubt very much she is looking for some kind of power trip/ in fact, im quite sure she is just as confused as you are and agonizes over every little decision she makes. not too unlike yourself im sure.

if you like her, sit her down and *listen*
if you dont, shag her evey now and then, and go off and find someone who has their head screwed on the right way round. or at least knows what they want.

mind you, youre young! ehst do you ant to be tied down for. theres so much to do out there.
go.
explore.

Sleepy

Where's the problem? Unless you want a full blown relationship with her I don't see one. From the sounds of ye're relationship it was always a fairly casual thing, calling each other once a fortnight hardly sounds like the most passionate of relationships...

If you are seriously into her, why not sit her down and talk about it with her? Lay it out that you want a proper relationship or nothing more than friends (without benefits).

Otherwise, like I said, what's the problem?

ChRoMe

I've been accused of over thinking situations all the time its a real bad habit. The say nothing thing has occured to me but I'm the sort of person who likes it cut and dried. I want it to be "we aint going to talk again" or "i'll see you soon". Of course the fact of the matter is that I did really like this girl at one stage and wouldnt mind giving it a go but only if i know its worth my while and I wont be just thrown back when she feels like it.

ChRoMe

chump

IS this ChrOme of eamo style?

if it is send us a PM u dikhead... il give ya a piece of advice

stb

pickarooney

RE*AC*TOR wrote:

From the description you gave, she's has been blowing hot and cold.

And now hot and cold have dumped her and she wants you back.

You say you used to ring her every two weeks and acted all cool an' all (possibly while shootin' some b-ball outside of the school) and you reckon she can't make her mind up?
She's hardly likely to open her heart and throw herself at you if you act like you don't really give a toss.

ChRoMe

She knows that I liked her so I dont think that was the problem. Anyway folks thanks for the feedback. I might just ring her and say would like to give it a proper shot if that isint on the table I dont really want to have anything to do with her. Just want a striaght answer with where I stand (dont think its too much to ask)

Thanks for your thoughts

ChRoMe

Gordon

chump wrote:

IS this ChrOme of eamo style?

if it is send us a PM u dikhead... il give ya a piece of advice

stb

chump, watch your language or I'm banning you from PI.

WhiteWashMan

ChRoMe wrote:

She knows that I liked her so I dont think that was the problem.

you know this for a fact?

ChRoMe wrote:

I might just ring her and say would like to give it a proper shot

why didnt you just do this in the first place?

ChRoMe wrote:

if that isint on the table I dont really want to have anything to do with her.

yeah, i like that all or nothing attitude, with no middle ground.
Show the bÍtch whos boss!

ChRoMe wrote:

Just want a striaght answer with where I stand (dont think its too much to ask)

ever hear the saying, 'to win, you gotta buy a ticket'?

or

'if you dont ask, you dont get'?

if you want a straight answer, why are you asking here? its not like any of us has a hot line to her to ask the questions you want answered.

Jeez, maybe you want us to actually go out with her as well while we're busy finding out whether she actually likes you or not. on the basis of your answers here, i hope she stays well away and goes out with someone who likes to have fun.
you sound like a real head wrecker...

ChRoMe

Thanks wwman for such a constructive post. The reason for starting the thread was to get input from people who wouldnt have bias and help me get my thoughts in order by talking about it. I'm not looking for a response like you should do a,b,c All I wanted to know what other people thought so I could try and figure out if i'm being a reasonable in the way that I will deal with it. Or if I'm being a total ass and looking at it the wrong way.

There isint really any need for you to insult me over this thread if you dont like it dont post to it.

Thanks

ChRoMe

Virus_Inc

Ugh, some women are too complex/weird to even think about - like yourself a real hot & cold experience. Got dumped after 2 months then the odd visit, ups & downs, etc then a week before I was to leave for the other side of the world for an unknown number of years (which she knew about) she announced that she loved me and wanted me back! *rolls eyes*

optiplexgx270

your a sure thing when she is drunk. She cheated (if that can be said assuming ye were togher during college) on you in college and oly talks / thinks of you when she is pissed/lonely. forget her and move on.

WhiteWashMan

ChRoMe wrote:

Thanks wwman for such a constructive post.

i live to please

ChRoMe wrote:

The reason for starting the thread was to get input from people who wouldnt have bias and help me get my thoughts in order by talking about it.

i talked about it. i dont know you, so im hardly going to be biased.
i gave you an honest opinion. if you dont want answers, dont post.

ChRoMe wrote:

I'm not looking for a response like you should do a,b,c All I wanted to know what other people thought so I could try and figure out if i'm being a reasonable in the way that I will deal with it. Or if I'm being a total ass and looking at it the wrong way.

well, i did tell you you are a head wrecker, but you seemed to get annoyed.

bloody hell! talk about head wrecking.
are you sure youre not female. they do these sorts of things you know.
say one thing, and then do another differently.
maybe she gets these vibes from you.

ChRoMe wrote:

There isint really any need for you to insult me over this thread if you dont like it dont post to it.

HELLO POT, KETTLE ON LINE 2 FOR 'YA!

ChRoMe

This thread just seems to have become wwman trying to wind me up so I'm just going to leave this as my last post.

She wants to meet up for pints tonight so I'll guess I'll find out what the story is then.

Thanks to everyone for their advice.

ChRoMe

Gordon

WWM stop attacking the posters.

ChRome, you read WWM's advice on page 1 didn't you?

WhiteWashMan

he said not nice things to me!

where are my toys?

anyway, who said that advice had to be nicey nicey.
perhaps we could hug and make up?

OLDYELLAR

oh i hate users so much!dont let people walk all over you like that .why should yoyu answer the phone at midnight and be all nice to her when shes contradicting what she said before and by the way i have a freind who goes out with the intention of finding a guy with a nice car just so she can look good , sounds like she just wants you when you got the car and such.although if you like to be literally fuc*d around go for it , sorry if i was a bit abrupt with that but really as i said i hate users .

WhiteWashMan

OLDYELLAR wrote:

but really as i said i hate users .

and punctuation?

OLDYELLAR

yes and punctuation

skywalker

WhiteWashMan wrote:

he said not nice things to me!

ive just re-read the thread and i disagree.

ChRoMe wrote:

There isint really any need for you to insult me over this thread if you dont like it dont post to it.

Thats about the worst thing he said to you from what i can see. you were arsey towards him for no aparent reason tbh.

chrome how about an update. how did it go last night.

WhiteWashMan

oh-ho, the serious brigade have arrived.

is giving out advice thats not recieved well being arsey?

must remember that.

of course, i have no idea what business of yours it is?

i also await an update to see how things went.
well chrome, how about it?

Beruthiel

well wwm
tis a shame it comes to this, but as Gordon has already put you on a last warning, I'm afraid it's a one week ban for you for being such a trolling muppet! :eek:
B