In denial

LegacyUser

I'm 23 years old, and have known for sometime that I like both males and females. I have had sexual experiences with many girls and just one male, yet I am still virgin.

The thing is I'm very much in denial about my sexuality, and can't bring myself to "come out". I would like to be honest with people, and would like to experiment a little more with men, I'm too shy to do so. I have lots of guys I fancy but can't bring myself to tell them. Besides, I fear I would be rejected if I did come out.

The guy I have had sexual encounters with (on more than 1 ocassion) is alot more mature than me, in fact he is a good 10 years older than me, and no it wasn't abuse, I was well up for it. However, I would like to meet people my own age, but I live in a small rural area with little chance for such encounters.

Where should I start? I would love to meet up with a guy, have a laugh, and maybe get a little intimate, but in a discrete manner, with no strings attached.

ixoy

There's a number of options open to you. Firstly, you could ring the Gay and Lesbian switchboard to see if there's any social groups near you where you could go and meet people like yourself - there's resource links as a sticky at the top of the forum, and more phone numbers here that break it down by region.

There's the option of personal columns if you feel like it - the Irish Times, for example, have a Men Seeking Men section in The Ticket, published every Friday which would be discrete.

They're all ways to initiate contact quietly, without having to declare anything you're not yet comfortable with and you're sure to find people in similiar situations.

It would be remiss of me to not acknowledge the online gay presence. The websites www.gaire.ie run popular personal columns and www.gaydar.ie run similar themed concepts, both of them confidential. You can meet some very sound people through them as well as a large amount with one thing on their mind and only seeking it.

If I can give advice though, try and establish a friendship. Don't try and go out seeking only sexual gratification because it's only, in the long term, a short bit of fun and won't truly decide anything for you. A friend, someone you can talk to, should help you clear your head more of the confusion. Good luck.

Stark

If you like to avoid sleaze then there's www.outeverywhere.com . It's also completely free unlike gaydar.

If you're from Cork, check out www.gaycork.com, a very active site for the Cork gay community.

You could perhaps check out the LGB society of your local college. Even if you're not a student, many socs are fairly welcoming of outside youth.

Annasopra

Coming out is actually a slow process that believe it or not you have already started. You have in a sense already began to come out to yourself. I myself believe this is the hardest part.

The advice above is good.

Stay positive.

Miss Mann

Gaydar.ie is your best bet for no strings fun, but avoid the weirdos and don't go for the ones who post nudey pics of themselves because half the time they've just stolen pics from porn sites.

xx