~Self Portrait~

shiv

I am your emotional pinana
I break apart at the slightest bash
To the heart

And yet you continue to blame me
See this sensitivity only as frailty
A failing
On your part

Blindfolded and dumbfounded
You swing wildly in circles
But the mirror does not break

So much as crack me
Even though you’ve been attracted to glass
And opposed to integrating
For many years now

Pursuing the past with the tenacity
Of psychological paparazzi
This unhealthy pull towards
Old wounds
Is paramount

Inside my sliced solar plexus
Your undiagnosed
Complexity abounds

All put down by middle-aged men
With post accents
As hysterical female hyperbole

But I am your emotional haemophiliac
And I love to bleed

At every poignant nuance
You try to tell yourself
You are too desensitised to see

And every chance I get
I’m refusing offers of transfusions
On your behalf

The intrusion of some foreign body
Pointless
Trying to bolster a buffer
That barely exists

When will you realize
Why don't you see
What you don’t have
Is something you’ll never need?

kirn

there's a few good lines there.
i dunno about 'emotional pinana' though.
'swing wildly in circles' and 'attracted to glass' and few more are nice couplets.

k

shiv

Hi Kirn, thanks for your comments.
I guess the use of the word pinana is meant to convey how I sometimes seem to fall apart, or at least pieces of me do, during emotional trauma, and I liked the image.
thanks again for your feedback