I've become a sugar Daddy

LegacyUser

Hiya all,

I've a great mate who i spend a lota time with, he's only 18, I'm 23.
We drive, go on hols, go drinking, go eating, go camping.
He thinks the world of me,i know he genuinely does and i do everything i can for him.
I've known him since he was a kid and while he's always messing on the gay front he swears he's not gay.
he loves "pretending" to be my boyfriend though.
I don't know whether he likes me more than the close friends that we are and to be honest I'm too nice to try anything and wont.
It's hard to explain but theres a great love there and I dont want to ruin it.

Thing is though I'm gagga about him now,he's playfull but he's also very mature and can talk for ages on any subject.
His folks don't know I'm gay but i reckon some of his brothers and sisters do and kick up a fuss when we go away together.
He has had girlfriends before and every chance they get his family are stting him up,this usen't bother me before but now it cuts me up 'cause I know he'll eventually cave in.
I know, I know if he wants to be straight I'm not gonna stop him and my heart tells me , to encourage him to be happy-thats love for ya but it's gonna tear me apart and right now i'm not sure if i have the strenghth to cope with this even though i know i have to.

What do ya all think?

Hagar

It's gays like you that make live difficult for homophobes like me. Kind, caring, compassionate, loving. It's actually becoming harder to resent your lifestyle.

Foe what it's worth I think your showing exceptional maturity in allowing your friend the freedom to make an un-influenced choice and I think you will be rewarded for it. Good luck to you both.

damien

Not sure what advice I can give but I can state that many of us have been in this position before. From the way you describe him you wouldn't be human if you weren't attracted to him.

You've already done a good analysis of your situation and it seems you know where you are at right now. Are your feelings obvious to him ? How would he react if you let him know you wanted to be more than just friends ? You acknowledge the mature thing to do, which is counter to what your heart wants, but you need to do risk analysis and see

Me, I'd try and not obsess about him so much by distracting myself with someone else. It might only be a distraction but it might help you in the short term. Let him mature and find his own way in that time and things might become more obvious about you two.

I fell in love once with this guy who I spent all my spare time with and he cared for me too. In the end I was only hurting myself more by being in his company so much and in reality I needed a break from his companionship to sort my feelings out.

Stay strong.

Damien.

BaZmO*

nice _ lad wrote:

He has had girlfriends before and every chance they get his family are stting him up

I dunno but by the sound of that I reckon his family have a bit on an inkling that he's gay if at every chance available they're trying to set him up with a nice lass.

nice _ lad wrote:

I know, I know if he wants to be straight I'm not gonna stop him

How can you stop anybody from being whatever they are? He's either straight or he's gay, but by the sounds of it he probably is gay.

Either way, you sound pretty much with it and whatever happens I'm sure it'll work out ok and you'll make the right choice.

Gluck.

B.

Stefan

A few questions for you nice_lad:

Has he left school? Is he in college or working or what?

Why do you guess some of his siblings know you are gay - maybe some of them are also friends of yours? Anyway have you asked him if they know and if so what they say about your being gay? This might prove to be an interesting conversation...

Does he seem to care whether you have a boyfriend or not? (I mean would he be devastated or happy for you if you told him you were seeing someone?)

By the way, normally a sugar daddy is someone who picks up all the bills. Is that part of the story between you two?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the quick replies lads.

To Damien: yeah you have a good point there,I don't know how many times I've said this has got to stop except for the fact that he literally lights me up and I reckon I do the same for him.
The balance of needs though is ever so much tipping my way now and this I dont want to continue.
A break would have to be my decision and a really hard one to take as basically there is a lot of love here.

Stefan, his folks ie brothers and sisters have asked him if he is gay because he's gone off with me so often and he's denied it.
he has a good few girl friends too as he gets on well with them.
Funny thing or tough thing is I know at least one of them he spends time with is definitely interested in him and something might happen there.
I've already hinted strongly about the way i feel and he seems ok on that front.
maybe he thinks I'm playing his game I just dont want to push this yet but not to do so or to allow it to continue is a head wrecking experience almost as much as it is a nice experience at this stage.


I'd say he would be happy if i was see'ing someone other than him but the way i look at this at the moment anyhow is that he is like a long "chase".
It's just when does the chase become more painfull than it's worth.
I've against my better judgement allowed this to go too far I think and now bringing it to a head to discover its not going to become a proper relationship will cut me hard.
Him going off with the lass that likes him would for definite make me have to decide that despite my feelins for him I have to cut him completely loose.
This is a decision i might have to take anyway for my sanity.
Not being able to share him is something i'm sure of right now and knowing that someone else gets the complete him is or would be at this stage very painfull.
I should have lanced this a while ago but love hugs and affection are darn addictive!!

Time for a long heart to heart methinks-if i can summon up the strenght for the possible consequences.


On the sugar daddy score, yeah I'm good to him in that i get him presents, bring him out and stuff and have done for a year or two but he does a bit lately too since he's started working and as well as that he's able to give it all back in other ways

OfflerCrocGod

Going on what you have said he's not gay. He's a good friend and you are a great friend....but other then that. Why would he pretend not to be? Confront him with it

LegacyUser

Ok I'm see'ing him tonight folks and intend to get splattered drunk with him and sort of say it all.
If this goes badly I think i still have the strenght to walk away just about
It WILL be very painfull though for me if it comes to that

ixoy

Hey, if you can, let us know how it went. There are elements here that many of us can empathise with, so I'm rooting for you.

Boston

damien.m wrote:

I fell in love once with this guy who I spent all my spare time with and he cared for me too. In the end I was only hurting myself more by being in his company so much and in reality I needed a break from his companionship to sort my feelings out.

Stay strong.

Damien.

How did it work out in the end. Still friends with him?

Baz there is more then gay and straight

Reese

damien.m wrote:

I fell in love once with this guy who I spent all my spare time with and he cared for me too. In the end I was only hurting myself more by being in his company so much and in reality I needed a break from his companionship to sort my feelings out.

Stay strong.

Damien.

Same thing happened here, fell for my best friend. Horribly hard to cope with seeing them every day and knowing that they see you only as a friend. I took a break from the friendship as well, and as much as I'd like to say that things are back to normal, it isn't. I'm in a great relationship now, but things never were quite the same with my friend after that
(And no, she never found now, or else there would be nothing left of the friendship at all!)

boomdogman

Drop him. Drop him so fast and so hard and from such a height that he goes splat all over an entire planet. This is not love its self deception on a grand scale. he may or may not be gay/bi/sr8 but friendly but he is no use to you. You want love, relationship, life. This guy offers you a few months of an anaemic nonsense. Get out of him and get out thewre and find a real guy.

There aint some one for every one but at least away from him you have your chance. you wont be 23 forever.

How do i know? Been there and done that. Darren you fat bastard I got over you!
Paddy