Bodily noises

Prozium · 15-10-2004 10:56pm #1

Myself and my partner have been living together for about 3 years now and she has always had a problem with bodily noises like farting and burps. I have explained to her that this is a normal bodily function and is not a big taboo, but she always makes a big deal out of it !!!.

Has anyone else experienced this and do you find that some people make a big deal out of this ??

Stark · 15-10-2004 11:05pm

Ewwwww.

You're just going to have to learn to control yourself. You can never expect a woman to "grow used to" that sort of thing, no matter what stage your relationship is at.

Prozium · 15-10-2004 11:06pm

Stark wrote:

Ewwwww.

You're just going to have to learn to control yourself. You can never expect a woman to "grow used to" that sort of thing, no matter what stage your relationship is at.

Look man, it's not a control issue. Believe me !!!

I'm sure everyone will agree on this, when it has to be done, it has to be done.

Santa Claus · 15-10-2004 11:11pm

My wife is always on at me about it.
But (and don't tell anyone this) after 37 years of marraige, one day she farted. Now this could be just the diet up here in the north pole is conducive to flatuence, but I reckon (and hold on to your hats here) that women also fart :eek: !
Plus, she's belched on more than one occassion (again could be the north pole diet) but I have my suspicions that women posess the power to belch.

I think what horrifies them is the delight us males take in the achievement of burping / farting.
I think all us men at one stage or another have been guilty of feeling proud when we do a really good fart or burp (I still remeber with a fond smile, a room emptier I did back in 99

).
Apparently women just don't get this sense of achievement we experience and disapprove of it.

Oh yes, and farting while in bed with your partner is a big NO NO, and trying to put your partners head under the duvet is a pure DEATH WISH !

Anyway, Have to go....very busy time of year for me.

Santa
P.S. I just belched while typing this to prove to myself that I hadn't lost my abilities

Bri · 15-10-2004 11:40pm

Dutch ovens are a quick way to sleep on the sofa!

FruitLover · 16-10-2004 12:32am

I know a girl who farts in bed and holds her boyfriend's head under the covers - and has admitted such!

She's a Guinness drinker, btw :eek:

garthv · 16-10-2004 1:25am

guinness farts can kill off the population of small countries tbh...

billy the squid · 16-10-2004 2:04am

ah their not as bad as the spicy food farts.

although if your partner is that worried about it, they should do a little research on what foods cause flatulence and what foods dont.

frodi · 16-10-2004 4:41pm

Charcoal tablets will help reduce farts. Is the problem with farting/belching when there is only the two of you around or is it when you are in company (eg when the PP is around for tea?)
Alternately wait until she lets one rip (be alert it may be a S but D) and then say "you can talk"

Victor · 16-10-2004 5:21pm

Prozium wrote:

Myself and my partner have been living together for about 3 years now and she has always had a problem with bodily noises like farting and burps.

Yours or hers?

Bunnyefey · 16-10-2004 5:23pm

Oh man, I hate girls who get uptight about these kinda things. Farts are amusing, end of story. Yeh, they smell bad but if you can't see the funny side to them then you're one hell of a boring fool. There really seems to be too many uptight girls around who I secretly believe find these things funny but just won't admit to it

Sarky · 16-10-2004 5:33pm

They are neither serious nor humourous. They merely are.

Am I alone in remembering a tv ad mentioning that breaking wind was healthy and that everyone, on average, does it 14 times a day?

Seraphina · 16-10-2004 6:03pm

something like that, although i wouldn't care to count...

i dont care about anyone else's, although when i let a loud one in a quiet situation i find it very embarrassing, dont know why.
i think the problem is that its funny when men do it, but if they're female friend or gf does it, its unattractive and not lady like etc etc.

Gordon · 16-10-2004 8:50pm

Go to Russia and you will have to be bleeding in pain before you let off a bottom burp in ear and smell shot of anyone.

unkel · 16-10-2004 10:27pm

Marry her! She is nice and well brought up

nobodythere · 17-10-2004 5:40pm

Am I the only one who has mastered silent farting?

tribble · 17-10-2004 6:56pm

My sister rips off ground shaking farts that, when she is seated, i can feel vibrate through the floor boards and up the leg of me trousers...

She also prides herself on being able to belch on demand.

Victor · 17-10-2004 7:40pm

tribble wrote:

She also prides herself on being able to belch on demand.

We taught the secretary at work how to do it.

rainbow kirby · 17-10-2004 8:22pm

My 11 year old sister can belch the alphabet...

Lafortezza · 17-10-2004 9:33pm

A fart is an expulsion of smelly gas and tiny poo particles. Which when you breath in you become the definitive ****-eater.

LegacyUser · 17-10-2004 10:48pm

is there anythin better than sucking the farts outa a hot chicks ass ?

Prozium · 17-10-2004 10:51pm

bananayoghurt wrote:

is there anythin better than sucking the farts outa a hot chicks ass ?

Yep, there is.

And it involves the traffic going the other way.

Gordon · 17-10-2004 11:25pm

bananayoghurt, please, this is a family show.

LegacyUser · 17-10-2004 11:42pm

its after the watershed gordan

RossFixxxed · 18-10-2004 8:05am

I totally lack the power to belch. I have maybe 20 times in the last 10 years. That's like -10 Man Points right there, I end up all blocked up or in horrible 2 hour hiccuping fits! Someone teach me!

Ross