Need some advice on a girl

LegacyUser

Due to the fact that i'd like to remain anonymous i may be a bit vague in some aspects. I'm a student in College and recently (this week) i was at a College event whereby you meet many other students (mainly foreign ones) in a hall and are organised into groups of about 6 (it's not a dating thing). There were about 350 people. It was mainly getting to know eachother, learning about eachother's country and that type of thing. Things went quite well and there was a foreign girl that i got talking to and quite liked. Incase you're wondering i didn't sign up for this event purely to meet attractive foreign women, not that there is any shame in that. As things turned out we spoke for quite a long time, we were not alone, obviously, since the other members of the group were present. After the chat in the hall we ended up going to the bar where we had a couple of drinks and spoke more. Now down to the problem, at this point i was quite interested in her (yes in that way), and the feeling was possibly mutual but i don't know because i have a shocking inability to read body language. I asked her did she miss her home country and she told me she did a little bit and she missed her boyfriend. Oh wait did she say boyfriend? Yeah she did Well i didn't ask any questions regarding that so i don't know what the relationship is like. It was quite a nuisance since it would have been far more reassuring if she was single. Anyway, despite my inability to read body language i got a slight feeling that she did infact like me (yes, in that way). Towards the end of the night we exchanged phone numbers (but so did a few others since the event more or less entailed that). This might be a bit all over the place, but that's because i'm rambling. I'd like to know what people think i should do. By the way, her boyfriend is in her country and won't be visiting i think, due to financial problems. She is here for the whole year. Is this a complete no go area for me then? I really don't know what to do and perhaps many of you will suggest that i don't do anything. I'm not afraid to phone or anything like that. I really do like her so far, would it be inappropriate for me to ask her to go out somewhere to a bar or club (with her friends?)? Consdering i know she's not single, and she also knows that i know. I'm sorry for the ramble but as you may have guessed i'm a little bit shy, perhaps timid is a more suitable word, around women. I also acknowledge that this problem might be quite miniscule in comparison to others problems on this forum but it is indeed still a "personal issue" if i'm not mistaken. Also, if i was to call her, how long should i leave it before i call, should i text or call, etc. The last thing i want to do is "leave it", so any advice would be appreciated. If you've read this far, thanks

Over and out - Anon.

Beruthiel

I would suggest that perhaps she mentioned her b/f at the first opportunity in order to let you know that she had one, that she would like to be friends but that is probably as far as she intends to take any relationship with you

leeroybrown

I've seen this kind of thing before. Very cute and very friendly foreign girl befriends Irish male who gets his wires crossed. Lots of them are very cute and they do tend to be very friendly/open towards Irish guys. If I were in your situation I would have to assume that "I miss my boyfriend" meant exactly that until I had a bit more to go on.

Optikus

jesus thats a bit of a boll***, i've been in a similar situation myself just as you think things are going good they land that one on ya... but then again it dosnt nessescarly mean she's not interested. what happened to myself was very similar she metioned the boyfriend back home a few times which made me back off , only a bit of course i still felt the same about, its not that i gave a chit about the boyf, which pardon my french i didn't, its just i didn't want to bols tings up. any way to cut a long story in my case i just remained friends, although i kept thinking at times she was interseted and then my own paranoia kicked in, saying no she got a boyf back home dont be a muppet.. one night we were all out , as we were doing as mates for the last few months.. getting on grand talking all pissed up me thinking shall i make the move (which i was on every occasion but never having the bolls to do so) Then BOOWYAAA.. she planted one on me.. i'll say no more .. the enevitable happened.. so all i can say is play it cool for a while till ya get to know her better, wait for the lack of sex on her behalf to kick in and hopfully you will be the right guy in the right place at the right time.

LegacyUser

It's me again, i'm just wondering, assuming she just wants to be the "dreaded" just friends, would it still be inappropriate of me to ask her and some of her friends maybe to go out to a bar some night. Even within 3 nights of meeting her? Bare in mind i've only met her the once. Secondly, incase i didn't explain very clearly at first, we were never actually alone at any part of the night, there was always at least one other person so it wasn't like a private chat or anything. Despite that we did talk for quite a while. Sorry if my questions seem dumb i'm just pretty confused right now.

Santa Claus

I-need-advice, just be a friend to her and who knows. She's a stranger in a foreign land and needs a friend. Also I found in my youth that long distance relationships where you only see each other once a year (December 25th in my case) don't work, so just be a good friend to her but exercise self restraint and if she ends up parting ways with her Boyfriend then you'll be there to help her recover.
Seeing as you've never appeared on my naughty list before (I know who you really are....this guest posting doesn't fool Santa) if you PM me I could always get the elves to check if she's been on my naughty list in the past.... But making a move on someone who's already spoken is not cool in Santa's book and will land you on my Naughty list come December 25th.

Optikus, as you showed great amount of self restraint, I'll be sorting you out on the day...Just post your request here (http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=1972130) and i'll get the elves cracking on it !

Beruthiel, The elves mentioned they don't appear to have received your letter yet. As I told you before, we need as much notice as possible to make diamonds (basically putting a lump of coal up a reindeers back orrifice and then wait a month and hey presto a diamond......don't worry we wash them thoroughly !!!!)
Drop me a post on the thread above and I'll get the elves started (for some reason they always relish the chance to make diamonds.....there's a lot of bad blood between them and the reindeer!)


Santa

Zulu

...Hey Santa. I want a small country for christmas. Somewhere warm and with lots of chicks, and booze, and blackjack.

Santa Claus

Zulu,
Santa can't afford to get on the bad side of the mods as this accepting requests via the interweb may revolutionise the way I operate (I could re-assign some of the hundreds of elves I have opening letters and just get them checking boards) so all posts in the After hours thread referenced above.
That said how does the isle of man, liberty X and some heat lamps sound ?

ferdi

yeah i find foreign girls to be more open than most irish girls, perhaps even more forward...it takes a bit of getting used to, i'd say she foes actually miss her bf, sorry mate

seamus

Santa Claus wrote:

I-need-advice, just be a friend to her and who knows. She's a stranger in a foreign land and needs a friend. Also I found in my youth that long distance relationships where you only see each other once a year (December 25th in my case) don't work, so just be a good friend to her but exercise self restraint and if she ends up parting ways with her Boyfriend then you'll be there to help her recover.

That's pretty much what I would say.
As a man with a gf studying in a foreign land (heading over this weekend \o/), I would tear you a new asshole on behalf of all males in a similar situation if you made moves on her. Don't take that personally

AngryBadger

leave it alone man. On top of everything else that's been said, europeans actually have a social paradigm where it's possible for men/women to be friends and nothing else, doesn't exist in ireland.

Even if that's not the case, if you start making overtures you could wind up becoming her bitch

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote:

I would suggest that perhaps she mentioned her b/f at the first opportunity in order to let you know that she had one, that she would like to be friends but that is probably as far as she intends to take any relationship with you

I disagree. She simply said it because it's true. That doesn't mean anything. Stay friends but if you're interested, you don't owe him anything. When I was in college, I missed my girl like hell, I talked about it freely. That doesn't mean I didn't pursue other relationships.

Go for it mate. You may end up being the better man anyway.

Civilian_Target

I'd say becoming friends is enough. That way, the worst case scenario is that you're friends.....

*Page*

firstly she may possibly llike u that way but she may not want to go there! the thing is that even though there mayb feelings between u both theres another person involved say u were the other guy wat wud u want,,,,, then put yourself in her position do u want to b unfaithful do you want to loose wat u have? i advice this try b her friend do not go after your male/ female natural urges give her the emotional suport she needs wit out tredding on others toes....

Lex_Diamonds

Go for it. She may give a slight tiny miniscule **** about having a bf but if you press the issue in a professional manner youll be rolling off her in no time.

Tusky

Distract her with an RTE guide and shlide the log in...

Im sorry I know I overuse it but it works for so many situations...actually It only works for one situation now that I think of it...

Id say give it a go. If you dont you will be friends with someone you really want to get stuck into and that is the biggest mind-f-u-c-k of all....apart from mormons...but theyre just weird.

Shad0r

I-need-advice wrote:

Now down to the problem, at this point i was quite interested in her (yes in that way), and the feeling was possibly mutual but i don't know because i have a shocking inability to read body language. I asked her did she miss her home country and she told me she did a little bit and she missed her boyfriend.

TBH that could mean ANYTHING. Without reading her body language at the time she could have been trying to tell you to keep your distance, she could be telling you she's lonely/horny, or she could simply have been stating fact.

Making fast moves on that girl is probably a bad plan but if she is in Ireland for a year and you think she likes you then you'd be a retard not to make a move on her at some point. Take it slow and get to know her a little better. Just dont take it too slow, so that you slide into the friendzone.

I realise that's not the popular opinion but I dont get some of the replies here . I mean you met this girl once? Twice maybe? Like what exactly do you think you owe her? Decide now if what you want from your relationship with her. Dont be a coward about it. <- thats advice not an accusation.

It was quite a nuisance since it would have been far more reassuring if she was single. Anyway, despite my inability to read body language i got a slight feeling that she did infact like me (yes, in that way). Towards the end of the night we exchanged phone numbers (but so did a few others since the event more or less entailed that).

Yeah it would be easier if she was but she's away from her own country for a year. I mean maybe she's madly in love with her bf at home and you havent got a hope but its infinitly more likely that she's just cute and has always had a boyfriend person in her life, in which case your in.

I really don't know what to do and perhaps many of you will suggest that i don't do anything. I'm not afraid to phone or anything like that. I really do like her so far, would it be inappropriate for me to ask her to go out somewhere to a bar or club (with her friends?)?

I dont understand why you would do nothing. I mean really? Does your life depend on you making a new friend with this girl? I also dont understand the guys suggesting that you do nothing either.

Amz

Beruthiel wrote:

I would suggest that perhaps she mentioned her b/f at the first opportunity in order to let you know that she had one, that she would like to be friends but that is probably as far as she intends to take any relationship with you

Agreed.

It's generally a subtle way to let you know that she already has a man in her life who she likes "in that way" and only wants to be friends.

adjodlo

She didn't just mention her bf. If she mentioned in passing, "oh my bf likes that too!" or the like, then that could be a crossed signal - she could have just been mentioning her bf in order to make herself feel less guilty about doing the dirt (i.e. you talked her into doing the dirt). But let me ASSURE you that if a girl who has a bf wants to get with a guy she will NOT mention her bf nine times out of ten.

However she indeed said that she MISSED her bf. Hence you have no chance. Sorry, but that is my opinion.

Shad0r

Civilian_Target wrote:

I'd say becoming friends is enough. That way, the worst case scenario is that you're friends.....

Good God man! Talk about a defeatist attitude....

LegacyUser

Don't listen to a girl's advice about this. They're just simply supressing the fact that any girl can be manipulated into a crazy little goer with a little effort.

I believe that she simply does miss her boyfriend. Fair fux, I miss my gf. Doesn't mean I'm going to stay celibate until i go home.