Issue regarding talking to girls in clubs

LegacyUser

The basic problem is that I always seem to draw a blank on what to say when trying to talk to a girl in a club. This is partly a confidence problem. The thing is though in situations such as job interviews and speaking in front of work colleagues, I have no such problems. It doesn't matter if the audience is male or female. However inside a night club or indeed any time I try to chat someone up, my mind draws a blank on what to say. What do people feel would be a good way to start a converation? Saying be yourself is a bit too vague for the likes of me. Thanks for reading.

Sarky

Have you tried listening instead?

secret_squirrel

Sarky wrote:

Have you tried listening instead?

Talking issue wrote:

a good way to start a converation

Note the contradiction there.

tbh a club is a lousy place to talk to a girl anyhow, clubs are much more about physical attraction and beer googles - in my bitter and twisted opinion.

Keep it simple start with the basics like hi, how are ya (try not to do a Joey from Friends) - if she likes you she'll make an effort to keep the conversation going - if not exchange pleasantries and move on. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Also bear in mind the type of girl you will run into, theres no point in trying to pull in a club full of young wans if you're ancient. Ditto trying to pull a golddigger* in Café en Seine if you look penniless.

*sweeping generalisation alert

I am MAN

Yeah they suck unless its for a one night stand or a kiss. Having an inteligent conversation over that music is not gonna happen.

ando

[LOUD VOICE] "I can't hear what your saying love, can you speak louder??? The weather.. yeah its been nice lately hasnt it.... yeah ok do you want another drink.. what?? what... shout into my ear.. yea its suppose to be rainy next week unfortunatly.. DO YOU WANT ANOTHER DRINK??? " [/END LOUD VOICE]

scored

[Preacher]

Sarky wrote:

Have you tried listening instead?

Get off your high-horse Sarky.

OY

Talking issue wrote:

The thing is though in situations such as job interviews and speaking in front of work colleagues, I have no such problems.

The point has already been made that nightclubs suck for meeting and 'talking' to a girl. (and made very well by Ando... nice one!)

But it seems a little strange that one of the prominant things you compare talking to a call with is a job interview. I can maybe see some similaritites but isn't that a little dramatic. If we all talked to eachother like we are in an interview situation life would be surreal...i can picture it now...

'So, why should i go out with you next Friday, what do you think you have to offer my life? Show me exmples of previous relationships where you were in stressful situations. Where do you see yourself in five years time?' ...
...
...
...
Actually, come to think of it. Maybe you are right. It is an interview process! :eek:

Sarky

[Preacher] wrote:

Get off your high-horse Sarky.

But it's so comfy. Plus I can see my house from here.

elexes

talk about cartoons or what used to make u laugh when u were very young most ppl around ur age will of watched the same tv shows and had some of the same experiences .

ven0m

Talking issue wrote:

The basic problem is that I always seem to draw a blank on what to say when trying to talk to a girl in a club. This is partly a confidence problem. The thing is though in situations such as job interviews and speaking in front of work colleagues, I have no such problems. It doesn't matter if the audience is male or female. However inside a night club or indeed any time I try to chat someone up, my mind draws a blank on what to say. What do people feel would be a good way to start a converation? Saying be yourself is a bit too vague for the likes of me. Thanks for reading.

Humour is usually a good place to start - making a woman smile can be the opener, but it is DEFININTELY not a closer.... least you can get their attention that way & work from there - works for me every damn time....


::: ven0mous :::

ntlbell

elexes wrote:

talk about cartoons or what used to make u laugh when u were very young most ppl around ur age will of watched the same tv shows and had some of the same experiences .

cartoons ?

ok, you must do well in clubs. i mean, the youth clubs.

first of all, don't make it every time your're out you HAVE to talk to a girl, have a look around, see if there's someone that looks intresting, make eye contact.

if a girl is intrested you'll know about it. just general chit chat, it doesn't have to be earth shattering conversation, you're in a club you're out to enjoy yourself. keep it light hearted and general to keep it flowing.

AVOID CARTOONS AT ALL COSTS.

unless she's wearing a cartman tank top

M@lice

talking to a girl in a nightclub is next to near impossible. The decibels are just way too high. Just thrust your body towards her in provocative manners instead.

[Preacher]

ntlbell wrote:

if a girl is intrested you'll know about it. just general chit chat, it doesn't have to be earth shattering conversation, you're in a club you're out to enjoy yourself. keep it light hearted and general to keep it flowing.

...Did you read the post at all?

ntlbell wrote:

AVOID CARTOONS AT ALL COSTS.

I dont think he means start a debate on Inspector Gadgets sexuality. I think he meant it as a light-hearted sort of an opener. Which it would work very well as. Most people watched cartoons as children, if they didn't theres something wrong with them. And using this as your opener lets you eliminate formentioned weirdos immediately.

StRiKeR

lol, ok seriously, cannot say what will always work, its down to the type of girl you're going for to determind what you are going to say as an opener, you should be able to tell close enough by making eye contact, you can tell by the reaction you get from them while you make eye contact with them as well as finding out if they are interested or not, when I say making eye contact I dont mean keep looking at them, you look at them and when they spot you looking over, you let out a smile, not a big smile ok, then you look away but keep them in your viewing area, as in you can see them at the corner of your eye but yet they dont know that, and you will notice they look away, wait and see if they look back again shortly afterward, and if they do, look again and smile, at this point if they are interested they will do the same, once you get a smile from the girl, you can then go over and say hi, and tell her your name, and hopefully she tell you hers, or if she just say hi and smile, ask her for her name, then if she's not from around the area, start asking her stuff but dont go overboard, dont ask too much at one go, tell her something about you too, but again dont be telling her your life story either, just take it nice and easy, things should work out smoothly, once you know she's interested just remember to play it smoothly!dont rush, thats a big no no, its ok for a girl to rush things but not the other way round! the way you talk is depending on the type of girl really but more less the same things you say, usually isn't what you say, its the way you say it that makes the different! be confident, even if you're not, dont let them know that, but dont act like you love yourself and you're the best that kinda way, wont work either!

Shad0r

Talking issue wrote:

The basic problem is that I always seem to draw a blank on what to say when trying to talk to a girl in a club. This is partly a confidence problem.

Once upon a time I used to bother trying to talk to women in a club but really its much less work if you can meet the girls in the bar before you leave for the club, that way you dont have all the hard approach stuff out of the way before ever you get to the club. Its better when you can actually hear what she's saying, much higher chance of getting along in my experience.

However inside a night club or indeed any time I try to chat someone up, my mind draws a blank on what to say. What do people feel would be a good way to start a converation?

Mindnumbingly loud music can do that, plus, its very hard to judge how your doing especially if your trying to be funny when you cant be sure that she's even heard you properly. You have to use more body language, which guys for the most part are generally terrible at doing intentionally. Really confident guys are the exception to the rule most of the time, although most of them do it as unwittingly as the ones who dont do it at all...

My advice: dont wait till you get to the club.

Shad0r

Also what Striker said, cept with more full stops. Like maybe ten or twenty more!

But there ye go, most of thats what I was trying to get at with the body language thing. If you just stroll up to the first girl you see that you like, its going to be much much harder....

If your intuition when it comes to girls isnt the best, I'd recommend seriously reading any books that cover using body language to your benefit. It will help you score more.

StRiKeR

oh yea if you can do it before you get to the club would be much better ofcoz!


lol sorry bout that, tend to do that sometimes when I reply to a post!!

ntlbell

[Preacher] wrote:

...Did you read the post at all?




I dont think he means start a debate on Inspector Gadgets sexuality. I think he meant it as a light-hearted sort of an opener. Which it would work very well as. Most people watched cartoons as children, if they didn't theres something wrong with them. And using this as your opener lets you eliminate formentioned weirdos immediately.

I read it, a woman wants a man, not some clown who still wacthes WWF and cartoons.

Or maybe I'm meeting the wrong type of women.

Hows wesley these days anyway preacher?

secret_squirrel

StRiKeR wrote:

lol, ok seriously, cannot say what will always work, its down to the type of girl you're going for to determind what you are going to say as an opener.

You should be able to tell close enough by making eye contact, you can tell by the reaction you get from them while you make eye contact with them as well as finding out if they are interested or not.

When I say making eye contact I dont mean keep looking at them, you look at them and when they spot you looking over, you let out a smile, not a big smile ok, then you look away but keep them in your viewing area.

As in you can see them at the corner of your eye but yet they dont know that, and you will notice they look away, wait and see if they look back again shortly afterward, and if they do, look again and smile.

At this point if they are interested they will do the same, once you get a smile from the girl, you can then go over and say hi, and tell her your name, and hopefully she tell you hers, or if she just say hi and smile, ask her for her name. Then if she's not from around the area, start asking her stuff but dont go overboard, dont ask too much at one go, tell her something about you too, but again dont be telling her your life story either, just take it nice and easy, things should work out smoothly.

Once you know she's interested just remember to play it smoothly!dont rush, thats a big no no. Its ok for a girl to rush things but not the other way round! The way you talk is depending on the type of girl really but more less the same things you say, usually isn't what you say, its the way you say it that makes the difference!
Be confident, even if you're not, dont let them know that, but dont act like you love yourself and you're the best that kinda way, wont work either!

Edited for clarity - hope you dont mind Striker!

Follow strikers excellent advice add in Shadors too and you wont go far wrong.

And WWF ntlbell?? Arent you the only one to mention WWF?? Freudian slip on your part?
Bet you're there in the club thinking
"Dont mention the Hulkster, dont mention the Hulkster "
Next second "Hey there foxy lady ...so hows about that Hulk Hogan then - does a man in lycra turn you on???"

Personally I think a humourous mention of a cartoon will go down wonders. After all everyone I know has watched a simpsons episode they can relate to for example.

ntlbell

secret_squirrel wrote:

Edited for clarity - hope you dont mind Striker!

Follow strikers excellent advice add in Shadors too and you wont go far wrong.

And WWF ntlbell?? Arent you the only one to mention WWF?? Freudian slip on your part?
Bet you're there in the club thinking
"Dont mention the Hulkster, dont mention the Hulkster "
Next second "Hey there foxy lady ...so hows about that Hulk Hogan then - does a man in lycra turn you on???"

Personally I think a humourous mention of a cartoon will go down wonders. After all everyone I know has watched a simpsons episode they can relate to for example.

The reason I brought it up was simply the amount of people on boards over the age of 18 that watch it.

Who tend to watch alot of anime and alot of cartoons, who in turn seem to be people who have trouble in social enviroments.

So when I see these types giving advice on chatting up women in clubs I feel it my duty for the "real" men of this world like Gordon, who goes down on his woman with her bra on his head pretending be a WW II pilot, to try and point them in the right direction.

As big of a fan of the "hulkster" as I was when I was 8, I'm sure he didn't get the chicks by doing impressions of mickey mouse, He-Man or She-Ra.

But whatever works.

Phil_321

secret_squirrel wrote:

And WWF ntlbell?? Arent you the only one to mention WWF?? Freudian slip on your part?
Bet you're there in the club thinking
"Dont mention the Hulkster, dont mention the Hulkster "
Next second "Hey there foxy lady ...so hows about that Hulk Hogan then - does a man in lycra turn you on???"

LMAO

StRiKeR

no problem secret_squirrel

["real" men of this world like Gordon, who goes down on his woman with her bra on his head pretending be a WW II pilot, to try and point them in the right direction.]???????

not picking on anyone but if any guys have that in the head before they even chat up the girl, they not gonna get very far, that just sounds ridiculous and sad!

it wouldnt matter how Gordon got the chicks, its not real, and he meant to get them in the story, no matter what he does!

ven0m

secret_squirrel wrote:

And WWF ntlbell?? Arent you the only one to mention WWF?? Freudian slip on your part?
Bet you're there in the club thinking
"Dont mention the Hulkster, dont mention the Hulkster "
Next second "Hey there foxy lady ...so hows about that Hulk Hogan then - does a man in lycra turn you on???"

That's the truth brother - so say your prayers, take your vitamins & become Hulkamania - so whatchu gonna do brother, when hulkamanaia runs wild...no, no that's not it.... whooooo!!! to be the man you gotta beat ....no, no that's not it.... oooooooohhhh yeah can you dig it.....no, no that's not it....Can ya smeellllllllalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaa what the rock is cookin.....


::: ven0mous :::

fletch

Have to say since the smoking ban has come in, I've actually started talking to people before I meet/sleep with them. Its gr8 thesedays, I don't even smoke but I spend more time outside in the smokin areas now cause u can actually hear what sum1 is sayin 2 ya, & see them so you don't wake up the next morning saying wtf did i jus do

LanceStorm

Excellent point!!
Just hang out in the smoking area, its the perfect place to talk to random ppl, have a lighter on you at all times!! The most obvious and effective starting line:

This Smoking Ban's a curse eh!!

Conversation begun!!
Now all you have to do is unleash your 24inch pythons and...wait thats hulkamania again isnt it...

the_syco

StRiKeR & Shad0r; I'll give those techniques a go @ the weekend.

The look once, look away, and see if she looks, sounds great, but I won't know till after the some weekend... :rolleyes:

Shad0r wrote:

If your intuition when it comes to girls isnt the best, I'd recommend seriously reading any books that cover using body language to your benefit. It will help you score more.

What would these books be called? Any idea's? Never knew these books existed.