How much do girls care about past history

LegacyUser

Ok. Long story short. I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend. Its a long story which I wont go into unless anyone asks - suffice to say its a run of terrible luck, underconfidence, and being rejected in person 6 times in the past 2 years.

Do girls really care about how many people you've been with in the past??? If a girl finds out I've never been with anyone, would she shy away from me, or would she charge in??? I know every man alive wants to deflower a virgin, are girls really as eager to go with a first time guy, or would they want someone with buckets of experience???

Also any magic solutions to my dilemna would be appreciated.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

go to holland, smoke weed and get a hooker, or a few hookers. Take a week off to have sex and get stoned, the marijuana will ease your nerves and after a weeks hard shagging you'll have more confidence in your ability to please women and the like.

or you could just not assume that every woman is exactly the same, accept that they are people in their own right and might not have the same opinion on every little thing under the sun. Besides the fact that the women you're going to meet on an internet forum are not neccesarily representative of the women you're going to meet out in the 'real world' of Ireland. Most of the women here are quite nice

ferdi

relax man, everyone has to star somwhere, and if a girl wont get with you cause you arnt experienced even tho she likes you, then she's the fool/

Nuttzz

6 in 2 years is only once in 4 months, no big deal. I have a friend who starts the weekend saying his chances of pulling are 100/1 and proceeds to attempt to chat up 100 girls over the weekend... he has some good weekends and some not so good weekends.... play the odds lad!

Bunnyefey

Ok, in my opinion(being a girl and all) it wouldn't bother me if the guy was a virgin. To be honest, unless you tell her, its unlikely that she's gonna jump up and go"Oh my god, you're a virgin, I can so tell" Anyways, if you hooked up with someone like me and told me you were a virgin, I'd probably take control a little and start it off so that you don't feel uncomfortable and take it from there. Not really a big deal. And if you stumble accross a girl who does think its a problem then they must just be one of these pooheads and not worth shagging.

Good Luck with it all, theres a life time of excitement ahead of you doll

simu

I wouldn't care as long as the guy learns fast.

Don't think going to hookers is a good idea to learn how to please a woman, though - they're being paid to pretend they're enjoying it even if it's really boring, after all!

Bottle_of_Smoke

Are you worried about just sex or that the girl would be edgy aout going out with you cos you have no "relationship experience" ?

I dont think most girls would mind that you're a virgin if thats the issue, just make sure you relax.

you could just hunt 16 year olds who are prob virgins themselves *oh wait this is ireland, silly me*

"Oh my god, you're a virgin, I can so tell"

its soooo obvious by the way he walks

Bunnyefey

haha, I was just trying to make him feel better. I realise that all virgins walk like Pee Wee Herman and all of those experienced lads walk like John Wayne, but like most things, you can fake the wake right

gnu

Hi REDUGNITO, speaking as a female, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if I found out a guy was a virgin. In fact in most ways I think it would be a good thing. I would be put off bigtime if I found out someone had been with a hooker.
That said, I wouldn't bring it up unless a girl asks. I don't think the amount of sexual experience a guy has with girls matters so much as the amount of interest he has in her, and in pleasing her.
The emotional side is a little trickier tho, a male friend of mine has never had a proper girlfriend, just one night stands. He wants to move things forward too quickly to a relationship level instead of keeping it a bit casual and girls just get scared off.
Best of luck, hope it all works out.

MistressPandora

Speaking of your history on a first...er...date thingy isn't really the done thing, is it? Besides, it shouldn't matter, just show the girl a good time
I know I'd be really put off if I know the guy I was going with was with a hooker, that'd freak me out a little.
Chill dude, your time shall come.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

I know I'd be really put off if I know the guy I was going with was with a hooker, that'd freak me out a little.

why?

GuanYin

Frankly its should be none of their business. If you are sincere with the person and sincere about the person, all that should matter are your intentions towards them and how you treat them.

Anything that has or hasn't happened to you previously is, quite literally, past history and (assuming you haven't typedeffed her sister or havelocked her daughter) is totally unconnected to your current relationship.

If its a big issue for her and she can't take you on the merits of who you are, then she quite frankly has issues and isn't worth it.

simu

syke wrote:

(assuming you haven't typedeffed her sister or havelocked her daughter)

It would be impressive if he'd done all that without losing his virginity!

GuanYin

simu wrote:

It would be impressive if he'd done all that without losing his virginity!

You don't count sexual activity that doesn't included vaginal penetration in sexual history then?

snorlax

the most important thing is what the guys actually like as a person(for me anyhow), wether your nice or not as a person
.
Also, most women wouldnt be bothered about fellas having experience or not. most don't care about your history either, thats why its in the past and you shouldnt think its going to represent your future.

just be yourself and the girls will come running. also you'll know when the time is right with the girl, theyll give you signals. then just jump in and go 4it, you can't lose anything from trying.

simu

syke wrote:

You don't count sexual activity that doesn't included vaginal penetration in sexual history then?

It would mean he wasn't all that inexperienced and that he was a bit more imaginative than the average guy.

GuanYin

simu wrote:

It would mean he wasn't all that inexperienced and that he was a bit more imaginative than the average guy.

I'm not sure how to react to that except perhaps to suggest that you're going for the wrong kinda guys

simu

Well, the average typedeffer rather than the average guy, I should have said.

GuanYin

simu wrote:

Well, the average typedeffer rather than the average guy, I should have said.

Damn, for a while I thought I was special

Freak

Dude, take it from someone who's a Hell of a lot older then you and in the same boat. I've never had a girlfriend and have a rejection list that would fill and A4 page, on BOTH sides. It's mostly my own damn fault anyway, I'm too shy to tell a girl I'm interested early and fall into the 'Friend' category later and once you're in that hole you've no way out short of near death experience.

Anyway back to the point, very few girls give a crap that you're a virgin, in most cases I'm sure they see it as a good thing 'cause they can show you what they like and give you pointers on what gets them off, instead of having to work through all the bad habits you've picked up with other girls. Everyone is different and what one person likes will get you slapped by someone else, just take your time and absolutely, positively DO NOT BLURT THIS OUT ON THE 1st 2nd or 3rd Dates, in fact, keep it to yourself until your damn sure the moment to 'Do It' has arrived.

As for the suggestion to go to a 'Professional', don't. Appart from the fact that as Simu pointed out, they're being paid to enjoy it so you won't really learn anything although there is a very real possibility you'll come away with something you didn't want and that will stay a long time (I'm talking about STDs for those you can't appreciate subtlety). More then that very few prostitutes enjoy their work, for most its a miserable life of humiliation and degradation that they wish they could get out of, do ou really think for one second that you have the right to add to their misery? I' didn't and don't, which is why I'm still this way too.

Trust me, you've got way more time at your disposal then me, make use of it and take it easy.

simu

syke wrote:

Damn, for a while I thought I was special

Well, become a typedeffer and you will be.

elexes

do girls reely ask what your previous experience was ? havent tried to chat up a girl in over 2 years i think ... (these long term relationships are good) . but surly they dont ask u for previous experience ?


/me wonders how the chatting up would go


girl : did u bring ur list of experience signed with at liest 2 ppl that are ready to be called for the reference ?

guy : wtf

girl : next



hardly

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

More then that very few prostitutes enjoy their work, for most its a miserable life of humiliation and degradation that they wish they could get out of, do you really think for one second that you have the right to add to their misery? I' didnt and don't, which is why I'm still this way too.

um..
did you go around asking prostitutes how they enjoyed their work? it's a pretty well regulated industry in holland afaik, i'm not sure how the money is but if they don't want to do it they don't have to. perhaps if you took some time to think a little bit, instead of just jumping up on your moral high horse and judge judge judging?

let me put it another way.. I have a friend who owns a shop, he hates the shop. hates the customers, hates stocking the shelves, dusting the shelves, pricing products and most of all he hates selling things. however, if he doesn't sell things he doesn't get money so he can't afford to eat or buy more products, and he can't clothe and feed his family. because he hates his job, do you think it's morally justifiable then to refuse to give your custom to his shop? even though he and his family *need* the money it brings in to live?

*edit, I don't actually have a friend who owns a shop. well, my mother owns a shop.. but she quite likes it.*

angeldelight

Don't think it'd be a problem Personally I'd prefer to hear that than that my bf had been with so many women he couldn't remember! I really wouldn't worry about it and anyone who does have a problem with it isn't really worth all the hassle!!

Tryst

Unless the guyhad been in jail for extreme violence or something then past history wouldn't really matter to me. Maybe you are just not being confident in your approach to women or you are just going after the wrong type of woman. There's not a lot more help I can give without repeating everyone else but don't fret you're only 21 good things come to he who waits and all that crap! :cool:

pickarooney

Mordeth wrote:

um..
did you go around asking prostitutes how they enjoyed their work? it's a pretty well regulated industry in holland afaik, i'm not sure how the money is but if they don't want to do it they don't have to. perhaps if you took some time to think a little bit, instead of just jumping up on your moral high horse and judge judge judging?

True. For example most call-centre workers only do it because they haven't the looks to be prossies.

ionapaul

Tryst wrote:

Unless the guyhad been in jail for extreme violence or something then past history wouldn't really matter to me. Maybe you are just not being confident in your approach to women or you are just going after the wrong type of woman. There's not a lot more help I can give without repeating everyone else but don't fret you're only 21 good things come to he who waits and all that crap! :cool:

Whew!

I've only been in jail for MODERATE violence...ha, lucky break, huh!

So....pick you up around 8? You can recognise me by the tats on my forehead...