"Friend"

LegacyUser

I'm going to surmarise this issue as much as possible, as I could write a novel about various similar incidences... but in summary

I'm in my mid 20's, male.
I made a good friend in college. A fella. A lad who I had a bit in common with, good craic etc...
He was friends with a girl for maybe a year before I knew either of them. When I say 'friend' I mean more acquaintence.
I met them in and around college and became good friends with them both. I knew that he fancied her.
Nevertheless, I did too and I hooked up with her a year (or so) later and have been going out with her since.
He obviously didn't like this particularly and he had some issues at the start... anyway fast forward... he still does and always has.

He is not really the fanciable type and drinks too much. The apparently underlying inability to let go (of his dream) appears only under the influence.
Numerous times if/when I'm out with them, he would leer, lurch, and when very drunk put hand around, badmouth me, try to grope etc. etc...
Now I confess the extreme cases only happen rarely, but once recently.
The thing is my gf would never fancy this fella, and I have no fear/jealosy of him in any way, and I tend to just ignore these things, ie. I don't kick up a fuss etc., because she can handle herself and I don't want to embarass the fella. I could and would beat the head off him if he ever tried anything. But... story is, recently he was really badmouthing me (in terms of my faithfulness) to her when I was out with a group. Now he was plastered, but there's never any excuse... she of course is used to just ignoring him at this stage, but the thing is I hang around with this fella. In times of sobriety I get on real well with him.

But
I do feel, that if he was drunk, and she was asleep or passed out in a room with him, he would try something. I've no doubt. He probably would with a lot of girls, but particularly her. He's very pathetic. Now this scenario will never happen, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to continue to let this kind of behaviour slide and jot it up as another drunken gobsheet occurance. And despite how naturally we get on well and what craic we have when sober or maybe on a night out with no girls, I don't know if I can not give him a belt and have it out with him. It wouldn't change what he obviously feels on the inside, and would probably fukk up us getting on good, but maybe it would stop help him move on and stop acting the fool.

I really dunno what way to take this...
I know any repliers will likely just say, lose the gob****e, or a real friend would never badmouth you etc... I'm not saying we're the kind of super-can't live without each other-friends but due to our similar stations in life we have to be civil and we will see each other a lot, and because we get on (unfortunaely) get on naturally so well, I just don't what to do...

Bottle_of_Smoke

when you're both sober why dont you talk to him directly about how much of a cock he becomes when hes drunk? either that or as you were saying ditch him completely

[Preacher]

Deck him you ****ing doormat.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

yep, that'll stop him ever trying anything. great solution.
you're not a member of the US goverment are you?

dub45

sylvesterbeaty wrote:

I'm going to surmarise this issue as much as possible, as I could write a novel about various similar incidences... but in summary

I really dunno what way to take this...
, I just don't what to do...

Its always a good idea to stand back and ask yourself what exactly would be your ideal solution - if you could wave that magic wand what would you want to happen?

Seems to me that he would have to give up drink and stop fancying your gf for his own good as much as yours. But that is not going to happen so whats a reasonable compromise?

What strikes me about it is that you both put up with an awful lot from him for some reason and unless he has total blackouts when hes drunk he must have a good idea of what he does.

So why do you put up with it knowing that he knows exactly what hes doing and that it will inevitably happen again and again - you are hardly doing him a favour when you think about it that way.

Why do you go drinking with him when you know what will happen and how in gods name could your gf ever find herself at his mercy while she's asleep and why are you even contemplating this scenario?

Anyways if you want to continue to be friends with this guy - socialise with him where theres no drink and if he asks why well just explain that it isnt enjoyble when theres drink and him around. If hes not prepared to do that well..........

Battlesnake

That's out of order the way he's behaving with your gf. He obviously doesn't have very much respect for you, your gf or himself.
Talk to him when he's sober and tell him to cop on and stop behaving like such a prick.
If he doesn't change his ways then just don't hang out with him anymore and keep him away from your gf. The fact that you think that he might try something on her when she's asleep is just plain creepy.

ApeXaviour

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote:

when you're both sober why dont you talk to him directly about how much of a cock he becomes when hes drunk?

I agree (try this before lettin him go). Though I take it you're not the kind of friends who can just discuss sensitive issues open like this. So I say lamp it on him almost jokingly while yis are having a laugh. It'll catch him off-guard and you won't get any well thought out response. eg:

You: Good laugh last nite man.
Him: Ah yeah, cept the dj kept playin that crappy song
You: Haha, Shut up that song is legend! I love britney!
Him: Aw I had to get out of there anyway, I was pure knackered from work that day.
You: Yeah you were! And lucky ya did too, you were gettin pretty locked. I'da decked ya if ya had given my mot any more grief.. (let your eyes go serious for a second then laugh to throw him off).

It'll implant on him that you mean business without messin with your friendship at all. I do it sometimes if I wanna get across a point to a really good mate without causin any tension. It's worked for me..

Beruthiel

[Preacher] wrote:

Deck him you ****ing doormat.

preacher
if you have no helpful comments to make
please refrain from making any at all
B

D!ve^Bomb!

well the guy is being a prick!! but he also has a lot of feelings for this girl.... if you're such good ''friends'' and you knew he liked her(alot by the sounds of things) then why did you start a relationship?? i can understand why he's being a bitter prick about it..

if a friend of mine started a relationship with someone i REALLY liked and knew about my feelings then i would find it hard to forgive an forget...

did his drinking start spiralling out of control when you started seeing her by any chance??

Jim

For starters don't feel guilty for doing anything. Its his problem, not yours or your gf's.

Talk to him while sober (you've probably already done this) may I ask how long he has been going off the handle at you and your gf? If you think she is in any danger and he wont relent after you talk to him, it would be your best bet to break off contact. Its obvious he is unable to deal with the situation and its best for all parties if you never saw him again, at least reduce contact. He would be able to get over her easier.

LegacyUser

a few helpful&unhelpful comments, but all interesting!

Jimeatsmenu: well he always was a fool when drunk, the worst in him definetely comes out, he can't actually survive a night out drinking without ending in a terrible drunken mess. he would sometimes try to have chats with the gf, not necessarily about me or her, but about his problems in life with girls etc. in sober times he has said to me that fair enuf he used to kind of fancy my gf b4 we hooked up, he doesn't fancy her any more... which for a while i thought may well be true... but after the last event, my strong suspicion that it wasn't true, won out. he wouldn't have many friends that are that close to him (in a sensitive heart pouring way) so he tends to pour out to her.

newband: i fancied the girl from the outset? and seeing as i only knew him for as long as I knew her, I'd hardly say I was such good friends with him - not to go out with a girl I got on brilliantly with and we both fancied each other...

ApeXaviour: good advice, i wouldn't need to do that friendly chat thing tho, i'd just go for it... he's certainly not good in those situations, would claim complete drunken blackout, but i'll probably have it straight out with him...

Battlesnake: ye, thing is he has no sense when he'd ruined drunk... none whatsoever. whatever evil/bitterness is in him comes out. i think it's to do with him not having a gf, or ever having one, and having zero luck with ladies and being generally sad... the thing is I feel sorry for the lad that he makes such a knob of himself...
the whole creepy drunken room thing, is to to underline how weird this fella is when drunk...

dub45: when you say we put up with an awful lot, we don't really... him making a tit of himself every few months. i think us putting up with this might be better than the 2 of us just throwing him out of the social order
he does have drunken black outs, a LOT of the time... i know from stories from him when out with other people he genuinely doesn't remem what happened, and he finds out in small amounts and is mortified, i also know that he has suspicions about what exactly he did, and would definetely have been informed by some other people who were out
as said above the falling asleep scenario is a very unfair really, but just underlines how messed up this fella is when drunk, i believe

[Preacher]: very useful input there, i'm trying to be a bit sensitive about the whole thing... the other nite was the furthest out of line yet, but of course my gf told me 1st chance she had what he saying but he was almost toppling over at that stage, hardly a good time to attack him

i think i best have it out with him in a straight up sober fashion and tell him if he does it ever again i will beat him and have no further contact with him...

thing that gets me the most tho is, i'm pretty sure he was informed about the crap he pulled, yet he hasn't made an effort to apologise, and he'll jot it down to drunken blackout if i see him (he'll mutter, oh that nite, was in bits, dont remem thing, sorry if acted the tit)... blackout or not, he knows what he did. so he should at least come clean and apologise... he constantly uses drunkeness as excuse for everything...

Battlesnake

This guy has a problem

Don't make it yours

Best of luck with it all

damnyanks

You say he is pathetic and that you wouldn't trust him alone with a passed out girl. If this is the sort of opinion you have of him you will more then likely mention it to other people intentionaly or unintentionally.

He is good craic when sober but you think of him as pathetic and unattractive to just about anyone. Are you sure he is your friend or someone you keep around to make yourself feel better? Or perhaps you just like to bad mouth him as well?

That aside if the things he does while drunk are indeed true it sounds as if he has some sort of problem? Or do you bother asking how things are with him

[Preacher]

First off I am NOT the fight starting type at all. And I want to make that clear.

So heres a step-by-step breakdown of how I justify my opinion starting with justification as to why I recommend hitting this particular muppet. (I've never resorted to violence as a means of fixing any given situation by the way, I've only ever fought in self-defence and anyone who won't fight to defend themselves deserves the beating. Simple.)

sylvesterbeaty wrote:

But I do feel, that if he was drunk, and she was asleep or passed out in a room with him, he would try something. I've no doubt. He probably would with a lot of girls, but particularly her.

I think the fact that sylvesterbeaty cant even leave his girlfriend alone around him if she was incapacitated for fear that he'd rape her is justification to hit him in itself. Not enough? Ok, I'll continue.

Numerous times if/when I'm out with them, he would leer, lurch, and when very drunk put hand around, badmouth me, try to grope [her] etc.

Hes allowing this guy to perv on and actually GROPE his girlfriend. Not to mention spread lies which clearly only have one purpose: Splitting the happy couple up so he can "get in there". And sylvester calls this guy a "good friend"?!? The above quote justifies the "****ing doormat" comment as he has allowed instances like this to happen not just once, but several times.

But... story is, recently he was really badmouthing me (in terms of my faithfulness) to her when I was out with a group. Now he was plastered, but there's never any excuse...

Further reinforces above point.

Mordeth wrote:

yep, that'll stop him ever trying anything. great solution.
you're not a member of the US goverment are you?

How very ****ing witty. How about spending more time reading the mans post. Instead of putting all the energy that hamster wheel in your head can generate into thinking up handicapped "topical" "burns".




Now, possible resolutions to this situation:

1. Deck Him
2. Talk to him while sober
3. Just wait till he rapes your girlfriend or smashes a glass in your face out of jealousy.

I'll start with #2. This, in most cases, is the best way or sorting things out, like mature intelligent adults. However, this case is an exception this guy really does sound like a total lout based on sylvesters description. And the reason I dont think communication will solve this is because when confronted with these "allegations" he will more than likely get violent, or the next time he gets drunk around sylvester he will most definetly get violent. So, since this is the most likely outcome of attempts at peaceful discussion why not just use the bit of cop-on you wear born with and give him a swift smack next time he pulls any of that ****e and be sure you're not the one who gets injured over this assholes stupidity.


As for options #1 & #3... Do the math.



So in conclusion, just because I didnt bother typing out a lenghtly response the first time (because I didnt have time) that does not mean my opinion was just macho for the sake of being macho. It seems like the most realistic solution.

And to all people who gave me bad rep points simply for expressing my thought out but briefly expressed PERSONAL OPINION which I am very much entitled to (not that I give a damn about the points system I just noticed that I had received a few negative marks for it, and one positive lol): How much thought did you put into your response?

All the best,
Preach

P.S. Beruthiel, sylvester is clearly leaning towards my opinion. So perhaps I am being helpful. Maybe its not the solution YOU want to hear, but it is none-the-less a very practical solution. And I also note Mordeth received no "telling off" despite being 100% OFF-TOPIC, I on the other hand was 100% ON-TOPIC. Intresting use of your authority there.

Kell

[Preacher] wrote:

So in conclusion, just because I didnt bother typing out a lenghtly response the first time (because I didnt have time) that does not mean my opinion was just macho for the sake of being macho. It seems like the most realistic solution.

ROFL.

I would have quoted the lot but I hate when people do that. Best defended and thought out opinion I have read in ages. You sound like an old friend of mine.

Only snag about the deck him approach is the possible backlash of Gardai involvement.

K-

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

MrNuked

There is middle-ground between not asserting yourself and actually decking him. Decking him proves nothing if he's drunk and probably seems cruel when he's sober (and is behaving). You don't have to just sit there and let him act like that. You can tell him to mind himself in a warning tone/stare him down/give him a slap in the face. These things put people in their place far better than attacking them. The only situation where you need to attack someone is if they might be able to hurt you physically. If he's a piss head he probably can't. You won't get in trouble with the gardaí if all you do is slap him.
Attacking him gives him a huge social advantage, especially if you're not evenly matched. He's not likely to tell many people you slapped him though, and if he does they would probably laugh at him, not sympathise.
I've hung around with people like that and the best way to treat them is to bully them a bit. If you have to hang around with people like that you have to keep them under control. They never have any self esteem and seem to appreciate someone who prevents them from making such complete arses of themselves.

LegacyUser

Preacher: So heres a step-by-step breakdown of how I justify my opinion starting with justification as to why I recommend hitting this particular muppet.

I have no problem with you stating your opinion that hitting him would be best. I think you'll find the doormat bit was the bit out of line. Your comment that you weren't being "just macho for the sake of being macho" is a load of toss. Why would you phrase it the way you did if you weren't trying to be macho? My experience with people like you who try to slag off people on the net with disposable comments that are uncalled for is that they're usually close to being retarded. (You couldn't have got your message across without the doormat bit, eh?)

Preacher: I think the fact that sylvesterbeaty cant even leave his girlfriend alone around him if she was incapacitated for fear that he'd rape her is justification to hit him in itself.

I said that he'd probably do the same to any chick in that case, especially if he fancied them, he probably would try to grab a grope.

Preacher: Hes allowing this guy to perv on and actually GROPE his girlfriend. Not to mention spread lies which clearly only have one purpose: Splitting the happy couple up so he can "get in there". And sylvester calls this guy a "good friend"?!? The above quote justifies the "****ing doormat" comment as he has allowed instances like this to happen not just once, but several times.

Did I not say he'd 'try' to grope. For example he might put his hand around her back, she'd move.
Did I not say we became good friends in college? Which we did. Have you never become friends with someone who had a problem of some sort? You obviously are viewing these incidences as an overriding feature of nights out with a group. He would get drunk, act the muppet, and make a fool of himself. People stop taking notice of him when he gets this way. And when you say instances like this, what do you refer to... did I not say "I could and would beat the head off him if he ever tried anything." Am I to hit the lad for fancying for my girl? Yes I probably should have hit him when I found out he was slaggin me off, but i've already explained the state he was in.


Preacher: Just wait till he rapes your girlfriend or smashes a glass in your face out of jealousy...
I dont think communication will solve this is because when confronted with these "allegations" he will more than likely get violent, or the next time he gets drunk around sylvester he will most definetly get violent.

From the above your misunderstanding of the individual is underlined. First of all, the rape thing? I said he would probably try something with her. He probably would. Infact there's a scary proportion of blokes that if in a room drunk with a nice girl who they fancy whose asleep, they would probably try to instigate something. I also said this would never happen, and later said I was probably being a bit harsh.
As to your view that he might smash a glass or get violent at me. I thought I portrayed the man as a more pathetic feeble creature. If not, there you go. I have no fear of him.

Preacher, while I do find your more detailed opinion and 3 points of advice perhaps good advice in certain circumstances I don't think there was any need for the tone of your immediate reply - you were being an asshole, but of course you won't admit that, and instead try to defend your commends. I hope you eventually learn to have a bit of cop on. Good luck with that.

As for the solution. I haven't seen the lad in a while but next time I do and the situation is right - I'll have it out with him.
Thanks for all the tips and advice, all appreciated.

oh and as for the damnyanks comments, i'd imagine in his mind he could make a random murder out to be the fault of the person murdered... complete muppet

secret_squirrel

Battlesnake wrote:

The fact that you think that he might try something on her when she's asleep is just plain creepy.

Or complete overreaction/paranioa on his part....

secret_squirrel

MrNuked wrote:

I've hung around with people like that and the best way to treat them is to bully them a bit. If you have to hang around with people like that you have to keep them under control. They never have any self esteem and seem to appreciate someone who prevents them from making such complete arses of themselves.

Thats a nice positive way to help someone with their problems - in this case this guys meant to atleast be some kind of friend. Sitting them down and telling them to cop on in a firm but non-threating way would be a far better way of dealing with them in my opinion.

Try that with this guy first. There's no need for the conflict to go nuclear before trying diplomacy.

damnyanks

Eh, read his post

Good friend / pervy ****er

He has bad mouthed his friend by saying he wouldnt trust him in a room with a passed out girl. If I heard someone saying that about me I'm sure I would bad mouth them. Hitting someone doesn't prove much, espeially when its drunk as its easily passed off as the person being a bad drunk.

Possibly just 3 people who watch too much dawsons creek. You arent good friends with someone for years when you have that opinion of them unless they are equally as pathetic

secret_squirrel

damnyanks wrote:

Eh, read his post
Good friend / pervy ****er

The contraction in the original post kinda jarred for me too tbh. This is one of those threads where Im sure the other two sides of the story would be quite revealing.

Original poster do you realise you may need to look at your own behaviour and attitudes since the guy you're talking about seems to go from 'Good Friend' to acquaintance to filthy perv in the space of one post. I do hope to god that you're not one of my friends.

LegacyUser

secret_squirrel & damnyanks: i think i referred to him as a friend and then made it clear that when drunk he was a pathertic leering perv
which is the case. however sad it is, this is the case. i get on well with him when sober (which is most of the time i spend with him), as infact do most people, but he is pathetic and he would leer when/if drunk enough.
As for the other 2 sides of the story, there are not 2 other sides. Even he, I'm sure if asked, would admit to being a complete tit when drunk.
Infact anyone who experiences him in this manner would.

& as to my comments about him being useless with the ladies, he is, as it usually takes place in times of drunkenness where he might try to leer down their tops.

Now to clear things up, the people who would go out with him do realise he becomes a certain way when a certain level of alcohol comsumed and of course give him a bit of a bollicing about it. But it is a drunker/sober contrasting universe with him.

And damnyanks for your comment that I badmouthed him about in a room, I think I said it was a slightly harsh comment, while still believing it is to a degree true - this is the case I believe. I think I have gone a fair distance putting up with his drunken crap to be allowd pass a judgement on him at this stage, or at least express my opinion.

secret_squirrel: I hope to God I'm not your friend too, snap!

damnyanks: You arent good friends with someone for years when you have that opinion of them unless they are equally as pathetic

So I'm not capable of being friends with someone who obviously has a bit of a problem with drink, because I think they're out of control when drunk?

As I said I'm dealing with the issue now in a sober straight up way. Will see where it takes us.

[Preacher]

sylvesterbeaty wrote:

I have no problem with you stating your opinion that hitting him would be best. I think you'll find the doormat bit was the bit out of line.

(You couldn't have got your message across without the doormat bit, eh?)

You stop letting people walk all over you, I'll stop calling you a doormat. Deal?

Your comment that you weren't being "just macho for the sake of being macho" is a load of toss. Why would you phrase it the way you did if you weren't trying to be macho?

I made a brief post. I later justified it. Accepting these 2 facts we can clearly see that I am not the "retard" in this situation. Doormat.

Did I not say he'd 'try' to grope. For example he might put his hand around her back, she'd move.

From the above your misunderstanding of the individual is underlined. First of all, the rape thing? I said he would probably try something with her. He probably would. Infact there's a scary proportion of blokes that if in a room drunk with a nice girl who they fancy whose asleep, they would probably try to instigate something.

Now, this contradicts what you said in your original post:

I do feel, that if he was drunk, and she was asleep or passed out in a room with him, he would try something. I've no doubt. He probably would with a lot of girls, but particularly her.

Ohhh... thats right I made that post on Friday. For some reason on Fridays my pyschic abilities aren't the best so I only had what you told me in your first post to go on... And how exactly do you "instigate" a sexual encounter with someone whos unconcious? Its called rape you moron.

you were being an asshole, but of course you won't admit that, and instead try to defend your commends. I hope you eventually learn to have a bit of cop on. Good luck with that.

Would you like us all to print and bind our opinions in no less than 50000 words and bring them over to your house for you? Maybe read them to you too?

And for once I'm going to agree with you, I don't think there is anything as tragic in this world as someone defending their opinions... Idiot.

I suppose some day I will learn to have a bit of cop-on. And I suppose someday you'll get your facts straight. Lets not hold our breath though.

I have no problem with you stating your opinion that hitting him would be best.

I'm not wasting any more of my time on this.

elexes

tbh i dont think your thinking about what hes doing to your relationship . once a seed of decipt gets planted its easy for it to grow to become somthing bigger . from your posts its easy to see that this guy has and is pissing you off in a majour way its why u posted here as ur looking for somone to agree with whatever is in your head

but imo u will have to sort this out you cant let it go on . he is trying to destroy ur relationship once u realise that he is not ur friend he is not trying to be nice to you and that when he is drunk he is showing that all he wants is for you to not be with his x . not one of my friends would say anything bad about me relationship wise if they knew that it would indanger my relationship no matter how true it may of been the simple fact that he is able to make up a lie and tell it very easy should be easy enough for you to see that u shoudl just cop on

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Beruthiel again.

dammit how dose this thing work

Shad0r

[Preacher] wrote:

So heres a step-by-step breakdown of how I justify my opinion starting with justification as to why I recommend hitting this particular muppet. (I've never resorted to violence as a means of fixing any given situation by the way, I've only ever fought in self-defence and anyone who won't fight to defend themselves deserves the beating. Simple.)

And

So in conclusion, just because I didnt bother typing out a lenghtly response the first time (because I didnt have time) that does not mean my opinion was just macho for the sake of being macho. It seems like the most realistic solution.

Didnt want to quote the whole reply but excellently defended Preacher. Good job. Bottomline is if that guy doesnt remember what he does when he's pist drunk, then he's hardly going to remember a chat you had when you were sober, the next time he's pist, now is he? He obviously has a drinking problem and if anything slyvester should perhaps advise him to seek help for that, or perhaps if a female friend of his told him to lay off it a bit when out he might listen. (probably not though...still if a good looking girl told him the only chance he'd have would be if he wasnt hammered he might take it on board)

If I was in your shoes Slyvester I would tell him straight up, the next time I saw him sober that he's a friend and I value that but the next time he acts like an A-hole when we are all out drinking together, regardless of how drunk he gets, he's getting decked and it will be the end of the friendship. Being blotto is enough of an excuse to get away with bullsh!t once or twice but its not an excuse for anything in this case....

<Off-topic stuff that I feel needs to be said>
The way some people use the rep points system in my mind is pathetic. If you need a bunch of little green boxes under your name just so you can feel like your more valuable, I feel sorry for you...ONLY because other started it, I have awarded rep points (assuming I can do that without moderation)

(Do you really have freedom to express an opinion, freedom of speech even, if there are a bunch of people living pseudo lives here, running around like little nazi's judging everybody and then punishing them if they dont agree with their opinion or the manner in which it is presented?)

</end of off-topic rant>

pretty-in-pink

here here, express a "different" or "contraversial" opinion, and the kiddies gang up on ya. eg, if two people express the same opinion: case 1;"o ur my frind, ur talking crap but i'll give you rep point". case 2;"o i dont know u, ur talking ****e, i'll take a rep point"

as for original poster, my heart goes out to you. its a hard place to be.my thoughts on your situation?

1)
any sort of touching someone up is freaky. a friend of my fella's is quite friendly when drunk. I wouldn't tell my fella cause he'd go mad, but this guy keeps trying to touch me etc when i am drunk. if he is to, then all the better, but its not neccessary for him to hit on me, hes nice sober, but creepy drunk. I don't think he'd ever hit on me sober, while I am too. hence I'm not drinking round him. you know this guy is doing the same thing, worse maybe,,dont let it go on, cause some night it will get out of hand, and thats a scary place to be. not just for you but for your g/f. Im not saying hit him/cut him out....but dont go drinking with him, dont let him alone with girls(sounds like he is doing that well enough himself though).

2)
I have a lot of experience of alcoholics, and believe me, excusing them will not help them find help. bollick him out of it, try make him see the problem his drinking is causing. you cant make him go to a meeting, join AA,or get the help he needs, but you can help him see the problem. and just because you cut back on the hours you spend together doesn't mean you don't support him. you can still be there for him, jus dont let him use you. there is a massive difference, and right now you are letting him use you. the doormat stuff is rough-but I can see why people would say it, coming from the family I do, and some of the people I know, I can say its not true, not exactly. Its a confusing place to be...the "den" of an alcoholic. he cant control himself, but through various stuff...usually emotional blackmail,he can control those around him. pull back, save yourself. go to al-anon. just all of you get the help you need. if you want more info, PM me and Ill help as much as I can.

Shad0r

ROFL, I was just in my CP for a private message and I discovered you can see your rep points and the thread in which you have been awarded them for....I got a negative one for my post above....
:rolleyes:

Sarky

How exactly will hitting the man make things any better? Chances are he'll take it personally, get drunk again, feel bitter, and find a group of people to give the poster a kicking.

Confront him, sure. Feel free to say that while he's nice enough sober, he's a disgusting specimen while drinking. Indeed, threaten to have no more to do with him if he keeps it up. But lay off the tv drama violence, it doesn't actually help, ever.