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Better do what the Bible says...

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  • 16-09-2004 1:44am
    #1
    The Song Thrush
    Closed Accounts Posts: 340 ✭✭


    Recently, a well-known female US radio announcer stated that homosexuality was a perversion. 'It says in the Bible in the book of Levítico, Chapter 18, Verse 22: "You will not lie down with a man as you would lie down with a woman: it would be an abomination." The Bible refers to this issue like this. Period,' she affirmed. A few days later, a listener sent her an open letter:

    "Thank you for putting so much work into people's education of the Laws of God. I learned a lot listening to your program and I try to make sure that the people around me also listen in. However, I need some advice about other biblical laws...

    1. Selling my daughter
    For instance, I would like to sell my daughter as servant, as is permitted in Exodus, Chapter 21, Verse 7. In your opinion, what would be the best price?

    2. Owning slaves
    Levítico, Chapter 25, Verse 44, also teaches that I can own slaves, men or women, on condition that they are bought from neighboring countries. My friend claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Would you be able to clarify this point? Why can't I have Canadian slaves?

    3. I have a neighbor who works Saturdays
    Exodus, Chapter 25, Verse 2 clearly states that he should be condemned to death. Should I kill him?

    4. I cannot approach the altar of God if I have vision problems
    That's what it says in Levítico, Chapter 21, Verse 18, but I need glasses to read. Does my visual sharpness have to be 100%? Do you think it would be possible for God to review His limits in this case?

    5. Planting two types of crop in the same field
    My uncle does not respect what Levítico, Chapter 19, Verse 19 says about this, in the same way that his wife uses clothes made of different fabrics (cotton and polyester).
    Moreover, he starts the day cursing and blaspheming. Will it be necessary to go through the embarrassing process of gathering all the inhabitants of their village together to kill them by stoning, as is prescribed in Levítico, Chapter 24, Verses 10 to 16? Wouldn't it be better to burn them alive after a simple family reunion, as is done to those who sleep with close relatives in Chapter 20, Verse 14?

    Trusting in your guidance."
    :rolleyes:


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    #2
    MistressPandora
    Registered Users Posts: 417 ✭✭MistressPandora


    Class! Absolutely class. I'm pagan myself, but that was funny!

    /me falls over laughing

    Oh and I can't remember exactly what chapters they're in, but there's several chapters in the Bible about how witches should be killed for who they are. Better keep my mouth shut and lie low for a while...lol


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    #3
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Hmm, having a go at the bible is abite to easy.


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    #4
    neuro-praxis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    Good luck finding the book of Levitico in the bible. ;)


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    #5
    The Song Thrush
    Closed Accounts Posts: 340 ✭✭The Song Thrush


    MistressPandora wrote:
    Class! Absolutely class. I'm pagan myself, but that was funny!

    /me falls over laughing

    Oh and I can't remember exactly what chapters they're in, but there's several chapters in the Bible about how witches should be killed for who they are. Better keep my mouth shut and lie low for a while...lol
    Hehe, glad you liked it! Certainly gave me a giggle. :D


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