Wtf?

AngryBadger

ok,so about 3/4 weeks ago I met this girl. She's from the same county as me, and we both work in dublin. We've met up twice, and both times she was giving me all the signals, from the physical touchy-feely stuff, to the compliments, to the dam fine kissing.

The second time we went out, she said that if she seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder over texts and ****e, it was because she wanted to take things slowly, as she'd had a bad break-up back in may. Fair enough says I, have no interest in charging into something blind.

Thing is, I was genuinely attracted to this girl on those first two dates. She seemed confident, intelligent, fun, and just had her **** together. Only thing that really bugged me was she kept putting stuff off when we arranged to meet up,and was not so hot on responding to texts or calls, but fair enough.

Just so we're clear, there is no remote possibility I'm putting pressure on this girl. We both have our own thing going on, and she'd told me she wanted to take things slow, which suits me just fine.

Subsequent to the second date, she cancelled plans we made for the hard working class heroes weekend, and has not even been acknowledging me, as in I called twice last week, left messages, and got no response. When I told her that was totally ignorant, she gave me some yarn about leaving her phone at home in waterford last weekend.

Now my own opinion is that I'm leaving her go *"&^ herself. Unless she's back onto me, and apologises for this crap.

I'm really just curious as to whether there's some other crazy feminine logic I'm oblivious to here, and if there is I'd appreciate being made aware of it before I call her later in the week and actually tell her to go *& £^ herself.

Gizzard

go out with a foreign girl theyre much better, less ****

koneko

She doesn't seem like she's interested. Instead of going off on a rant at her or whatever, why don't you just stop ringing/texting her? Constantly contacting someone whether they're interested or not is definitely not a turn on.

Hello Kitty

Yeah youll just scare her off then.!

AngryBadger

koneko wrote:

She doesn't seem like she's interested. Instead of going off on a rant at her or whatever, why don't you just stop ringing/texting her? Constantly contacting someone whether they're interested or not is definitely not a turn on.

Ringing/texting were kept to a minimum, and have ceased in the last week from my end. Really just curious as to why she would first of all express an interest, and have the wherewithal to be up front about taking things slowly and so on, then just completely go the opposite way and not have the respect to just say,look sorry i'm just not interested.

seamus

Wait a few weeks, ring her and make smalltalk, then ask her for her sister's number.

Seriously, if you've rang her and texted her a few times, and she hasn't got back to you yet, don't bother ringing her to tell her it's over. It's not worth your call credit.

If she's not interested, the honest and respectful thing to do would be to ring you back and say, "Look, it was fun briefly, but I'm just not interested/sleeping with someone else/not looking for a relationship" and leave it at that. The fact that she ignores you is disrespect. Delete her number from your phone and forget about her. Don't bother ringing her again.

Baffled

To me it sounds like she has lost interest. Ask her straight out if she's interested or not. Theres taking things slow and theres taking things at no pace at all. Its not fair on you. Ask her, and if she wont answer her phone leave a message. If she doesnt get back to you or gives you a story, forget it.

bandraoi

Her behaviour sounds like mine towards a guy I met recently that I wasn't sure if I was interested in. In retrospect I shoulda been more straight with him. (I know it's not you, we're not from the same country)

I'd say she's not that interested but at the same time can't really see a valid reason to end it.

I would text her one last time, say I like you, you're obviously not, good bye.
Then delete her number.
If she does realise she feels differently let her prove it to you.

Gordon

AngryBadger wrote:

Just so we're clear, there is no remote possibility I'm putting pressure on this girl. We both have our own thing going on, and she'd told me she wanted to take things slow, which suits me just fine.

I'm just reminding you that you posted this...

Beruthiel

from the female point of view
I'd say she's not all that interested but doesn't want to come right out and say it as that's a bit harsh, she's probably just hoping you'll take the hint.

Third_Echelon

AngryBadger wrote:

Ringing/texting were kept to a minimum, and have ceased in the last week from my end. Really just curious as to why she would first of all express an interest, and have the wherewithal to be up front about taking things slowly and so on, then just completely go the opposite way and not have the respect to just say,look sorry i'm just not interested.

They are women... They defy logic... Just remember that and you'll be fine...

ravenhead

Has she been in touch since she told you that she left her phone at home?
I know from my point of view if I was really after leaving my phone at home by accident & then got an ear full about it, I wouldn't be too inclined to contact you again too soon either. I mean what make you think that she wasn't telling you the truth about her phone?

AngryBadger

All fair points, and pretty much supporting what i already thought. Number deletion it is then.

ravenhead wrote:

Has she been in touch since she told you that she left her phone at home?
I know from my point of view if I was really after leaving my phone at home by accident & then got an ear full about it, I wouldn't be too inclined to contact you again too soon either. I mean what make you think that she wasn't telling you the truth about her phone?

Whether or not she was telling the truth is largely academic, if she had left it at home, then she'd still gotten my messages and just not bothered to respond - totally ignorant

If she was BS-ing ...... - totally ignorant

ravenhead

AngryBadger wrote:

All fair points, and pretty much supporting what i already thought. Number deletion it is then.



Whether or not she was telling the truth is largely academic, if she had left it at home, then she'd still gotten my messages and just not bothered to respond - totally ignorant

If she was BS-ing ...... - totally ignorant

I would say then cut your losses .... she probably was interested to begin with but sometimes people just don't click as much as they would like to. Just put it down to experience, i mean if she hasn't been in touch since the incident with the phone then there really isn't much chance that she is going to be, so maybe she is just an ignorant person in which case you've had a lucky escape!!

Zombrex

AngryBadger wrote:

Really just curious as to why she would first of all express an interest, and have the wherewithal to be up front about taking things slowly and so on, then just completely go the opposite way and not have the respect to just say,look sorry i'm just not interested.

Why?

Do you really want her to tell you she doesn't like the way you eat, or your shoes are smelly, that she is really holding out for the surfer dude down the road etc etc

The thing is, you want her to think that she is acting badly, to feel guilty. We have all been there when a girl does something and you just want to say "wow you are a bitch." But you can't make her think that, she probably thinks what she did was fine. If you give out to her or confront her she is only going to have an accuse by thinking you are the unresonably one.

Just leave it. You will never get the form of closure you want from her by going after her, and you don't really want to know the reasons she acted the way she did. You want to hold on to your dignity, not to let her think that she was really gotten to you

adjodlo

dont bother asking her if she's interested - because she's not.

You claim to not be putting her under any pressure yet you call her ignorant when she doesn't respond to a call. Just let it be - if she was interested she wouldn't be doing this.

AngryBadger

Wicknight wrote:

Why?

Do you really want her to tell you she doesn't like the way you eat, or your shoes are smelly, that she is really holding out for the surfer dude down the road etc etc

The thing is, you want her to think that she is acting badly, to feel guilty. We have all been there when a girl does something and you just want to say "wow you are a bitch." But you can't make her think that, she probably thinks what she did was fine. If you give out to her or confront her she is only going to have an accuse by thinking you are the unresonably one.

Just leave it. You will never get the form of closure you want from her by going after her, and you don't really want to know the reasons she acted the way she did. You want to hold on to your dignity, not to let her think that she was really gotten to you

Best response ever

Zulu

Drop her quicker than a steaming turd. Don't bother ringing her or texting her to explain your position - just walk away. If she's interested she'll contact you.

She sounds alof and ignorant to me, tbh.

Missie Mia

Know what you mean Badger. Kinda similar experience recently also. Was seeing a guy for a couple of months. Knew he wasn't the love of my life or anything but having a nice kind of 'dating' thing going on. Also, getting good vibes - flowers, compliments, wined & dined, etc. Then last week got the heave-ho - said we 'clashed' on too many things, I was selfish in some ways, changed arrangements, etc. NONE of this had come up when we were going out.

Anyway, my point is, think it is a personality-related rather than gender-related thing. Think some people just like to keep up all the smiles and pleasanteries rather than say what is really on their mind, very irritating but that's the way it is. Better off without 'em!!

Typedef

I'd love to go out with you only <excuse>

Wild sex filled trip to the bahamas you say.. sounds great only I'm arranging my socks.

S & M Session at yours.... Hmm, I'm waxing my cat.... maybe next time.

I dropped an anchour on your head, from a ship called hint?

Oops.

AngryBadger

all is well, I decided to exorcise my aggro and cast a curse on her to be sodomised by a thousand angry ginnets where she lives, and the balance is re-dressed ahhh yeeaaaahhhhh.....

Jamesobrady

Or of course maybe she has a boyfriend at home?
I've met two girls like that...one after the other....total headwrecks.
One had a boyfriend and she was on/offey with him.....the second one felt she was getting into something serious and just wanted to stay single and kiss around without worrying about someone's feelings.
I found out both the answers ages after we fell out of proper contact. Which is a contradiction i know.
I hate text messages....communicating with someone over texts just doesn't make sense to me-way too much confusion and analysing for my liking.
That said....and as someone else said in another thread....if you send 3 texts and don't hear back thats a fairly coherant hint. Ignorant to me once...shames on you....twice...shame on me ...etc......

Its a pain in the head meeting someone and feeling you click...only then they don't....but such is life...nobody has it all....and it is true....foreign girls are much more upfront about what they think. Irish guys and girls methinks are still suffering from the "sit down shut up" catholic sexual and emotional repression driven teachings.

For your own part....learn from the hurt and vow not to do it to anyone cos you know how crap it feels.

Then go out and say hello to new girls....label her a total ignorant bitch, which in all fairness is how she behaved, and assume she's in the minority.
There are some really lovely decent girls around dublin....the majority of which tend only to talk to sober people....try a couple of controlled drinking night out....being able to hold a witty conversation while other people fall around is empowering.....its like that bit with the vampire and the thing with the......and the control........and confidence....etc......hmm?...hmm?...y'know?


By the way her name wasn't Aine was it? I find girls without A's in their names are much more pleasant.

AngryBadger

:cool:

Jamesobrady wrote:

Its a pain in the head meeting someone and feeling you click...only then they don't....but such is life...nobody has it all....and it is true....foreign girls are much more upfront about what they think. Irish guys and girls methinks are still suffering from the "sit down shut up" catholic sexual and emotional repression driven teachings.

Also yeah, let's all get over the catholic thing.

This next little admission is not going to help my cause, but I did head out and meet someone else on saturday.....what can I say except "Hello mr. Pot"

azezil

tell her to go fornicate herself out back with a water-mellon. Hate people who piss about like that.

Bunnyefey

Typedef, those are exactly the kinda lines I'd like to hear if someone was blowing me off. At least I'd get a laugh out of it if nothing else.

But AngryBadger, theres always someone else out there thats that little bit nicer and better than the last. If there wasn't then we'd all be pretty fecked right. Move on and upwards. You never know, Angelina Jolie might be hiding around the corner waiting to get her claws in you

adjodlo

azezil wrote:

tell her to go fornicate herself out back with a water-mellon. Hate people who piss about like that.

not everyone is looking to get married on the third date :rolleyes:

Gordon

AngryBadger wrote:

:cool:
This next little admission is not going to help my cause, but I did head out and meet someone else on saturday.....what can I say except "Hello mr. Pot"

You met someone called Terence Pot? fair play, hope it works out well for the two of ye!

Bunnyefey

AngryBadger wrote:

:cool:
Also yeah, let's all get over the catholic thing.

This next little admission is not going to help my cause, but I did head out and meet someone else on saturday.....what can I say except "Hello mr. Pot"

Good on you hooking up with someone else I says Mr Badger man.

And Jamesobrady........since when have Irish girls been emotionally and sexually repressed? Hmmm, I think I must be living in my own little world cause foreign GUYS think we are more liberated than most races when it comes to the old in/out

azezil

adjodlo wrote:

not everyone is looking to get married on the third date :rolleyes:

of course not but by the 3rd date you should have a fair idea if you like the person or not, you don't jerk them around like that if you want to get to know them better.

AngryBadger

azezil wrote:

of course not but by the 3rd date you should have a fair idea if you like the person or not, you don't jerk them around like that if you want to get to know them better.

Dam straight, Az know what I'm all about......poontang

Shoolaboola

coming from a girl, she's obviously not interested and just decided 2 string u along for the fun of it.