End relationship?

LegacyUser

hey, Im not giving my user name as my girlfriend sometimes reads this board. sigh, where to begin;

I was in love with my previous girlfriend (lets call her X). X and I went out together for a year, then she transferred college and we tried a long distance relationship, I missed her terrible, we started fighting a lot, the relationship went down hill and I ended up being burnt. A few months after this I started going out with my current girlfriend (lets call her Y). At the time I was always depressed but didn't show it to my friends in my class, the only exception was when I talked with Y. When we talked her face always lit up and for a while there was light through my darkness.

Things went well and after 3 months we got our summer holidays, I had gotten a job with TEFL which happened to be in her country. I made it clear to her that I was going for the job and not because of her, I then fell in love with this country and am attending college here. During the summer we lived together and I was happy with life, now however I am in a different town to her.
Before with X everything felt different, more passionate, more spark back then I really missed X when she moved away. I don't miss Y as much, I don't feel the same passion or the spark. That is not to say I am not happy to see her when she comes to visit. I really don't want to hurt Y, she is the best girlfriend I could ask for. She is kind, gentle, generous, she has never pressurised me about the relationship and doesn't try to be number one in my world (though I expect I am number 1 in hers), we have never fought in 6 months and yet there is no spark.

I am afraid that if I end the relationship now she wil think that I was just using her for the three months that I we lived together.

I just feel a bit trapped right now, Im 23 and kind of want to be free.

any advice is welcome

AngryBadger

You seem to feel that you do want to end the relationship, and if that's the case then that's what you have to do. There's no easy way to do it, but putting it off will just make it worse when you do eventually break up.

Lack of spark is critical, no matter what anyone says, you can't have a relationship where there isn't some kind of chemistry going on. That said, be sure you're not lousing up this relationship because you keeo comparing it to your previous one, because it sounds like you have a lot of baggage from your last girlfriend, and I wonder is that poisoning your current relationship.

bandraoi

Translation:

How do I break up with Y without hurting her too much?

Answer:
You can't, so do it quickly - a ripped band aid and all that.

Hello Kitty

If you feel no spark theres no point in staying with her, just talk to her tell her how you feel and break up with her...