What to do, potential b/f living with someone!

oldflame

i am going to be as brief as i can, i met 'a' 10 years ago, we went out breifly hardly anything then spilt but stayed friends, i have since been in 2 long term relationships but no matter who i was with 'a' was always there in my head. i am now single and have got back in touch with 'a' as i thought he had died, went to graveyard and seen grave with his name, had been away and thought to myself, i have blown it, he was the one and now he's gone, obviously i have been in touch and know it wasn't him, we met the other day and we kissed and things got heated. i know he still feels something for me, the only thing is he is living with a girl that doesnt like me nor i like her because she iswith him (being honest). we talked and talked, kissed and kissed etc he says he is going to throw her out becuase hes not happy etc, i am hoping he is serious becuase i know he is the one, there will never be anyone who can be him. I dont know what to do though, should i give hima time limit to ask her to leave his house or do i wait? any help would be great

koneko

Sometimes people like to lead other people on.

If it were me, I'd wait and see does he actually throw her out/move out. He could be one of them guys that likes to sleep around and says "Ah honey no i'm telling her to hop it next week, i swear" and string you along for months.

oldflame

thanks for the quick reply, i am really hoping he will, but he knows he aint getting me in bed as im still a virgin and stuck in my ways and he respects that. he said if we had both stuck together years ago we would probably be married and have kids, i do truly love him and deep down believe he is the one, i just hope he feels the same and isnt screwing me around

Stark

Well you should give him time to let her down gently but not too much time. Don't see him again until he's done the deed.

mrhappy42

Stark wrote:

Well you should give him time to let her down gently but not too much time. Don't see him again until he's done the deed.

100% agreed.

One issue is that if he dumps her you are basing all this on one discussion/meeting so might be best to keep up some sort of corrospondance to set some ground rules. No point in him dumping her (could have legal issues on the house here etc.) only to find out some basic things not right between you and ends up dumping you and getting the other one back again.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Thought he was dead? how the hell did that happen, wouldnt his date of birth have been on the stone? i take it you werent just going gravewatching(which i personally have nothing against :rolleyes: ), did someone tell you he was dead?

Am i missing some sort of odd joke here? Are you Mental? How has no one else commented on this?

Oh fair play by the way, old flame thing is such a great feeling!

mrhappy42

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote:

Thought he was dead? how the hell did that happen, wouldnt his date of birth have been on the stone? i take it you werent just going gravewatching(which i personally have nothing against :rolleyes: ), did someone tell you he was dead?

Am i missing some sort of odd joke here? Are you Mental? How has no one else commented on this?

Oh fair play by the way, old flame thing is such a great feeling!

We did not comment on this as we are all romantics...it read so nice...just like a book:...and then....he appeared...she stood motionless, her mind racing, she watched as he approached. Was it really him? Could this be true? Her pulse quickened, she was glad that her story was not going to end like a mid summers nights dream...they embraced and she could feel his warm and strong arms around her. After some talk and kisses he agreed to dump his gf and move in with her...the end.

oldflame

Okay! For all the cynics! Was away for 4 days, then visited my brothers grave (who died 6 months) ago, noticed a new grave (without headstone etc) which had only been there 1 day, so went down to have a look, seen his name and almost collapsed! So no, Im not mental,far from it! :rolleyes: So that;s how I thought he was dead! Hopefull it'll end as romantic as a book mr happy!

impr0v

Standard Advice Kit, Item No. 143:

A relationship usually ends for a reason, with the passage of time and numerous clichéd conditions such as absence making the heart grow fonder etc., that reason can be forgotton, only to reappear after the relationship is re-kindled.

Victor

Sounds like a confused version of the plot of "Pearl Harbour". :rolleyes:

Lex_Diamonds

And you said your a virgin and stuck in your ways. He wont go without sex, so all in all, this whole thing is heading for disaster and you should forget the whole thing.

JohnnyBravo

What age are you

Beruthiel

oldflame wrote:

i we talked and talked, kissed and kissed etc he says he is going to throw her out becuase hes not happy etc, i am hoping he is serious becuase i know he is the one, there will never be anyone who can be him. I dont know what to do though, should i give hima time limit to ask her to leave his house or do i wait? any help would be great

why would you interfere in someone else’s relationship?
If he is with someone, then leave them be until they sort things out between themselves.
If he wishes to leave her for you then he can get in touch when he has, but to insist on them breaking up is uncalled for, whither you like her or not is immaterial, she is with him right now.
I would suggest you leave him be until he has made his own mind up

Iago

Beruthiel wrote:

why would you interfere in someone else’s relationship?
If he is with someone, then leave them be until they sort things out between themselves.
If he wishes to leave her for you then he can get in touch when he has, but to insist on them breaking up is uncalled for, whither you like her or not is immaterial, she is with him right now.
I would suggest you leave him be until he has made his own mind up

hear, hear, couldn't have put it better myself........so I won't

WhiteWashMan

oldflame wrote:

i met 'a' 10 years ago, we went out breifly hardly anything then spilt but stayed friends,

why did ya split? what has changed to think the reason for spliting has gone?

oldflame wrote:

i have since been in 2 long term relationships but no matter who i was with 'a' was always there in my head.

jesus, get over it already. he has.

oldflame wrote:

i have since been in 2 long term relationships but no matter who i was with 'a' was always there in my head. i am now single and have got back in touch with 'a' as i thought he had died, went to graveyard and seen grave with his name, had been away and thought to myself, i have blown it, he was the one and now he's gone,

no, what you were doing is comparing the boyfriends afterwards to some 'thing' in your head that no one will ever come close to touching. i am going to take a guess that he dumped you the first time (possibly because you wouldnt shag him, or you were 12 years old), and since then you have had him on a pedastal and you will never be happy with anyone because of it.

oldflame wrote:

obviously i have been in touch and know it wasn't him,

obviously......
:eek:

oldflame wrote:

we met the other day and we kissed and things got heated.

as they so often do....

oldflame wrote:

i know he still feels something for me,

telepathy?
smoke signals?
he said anything to get a quick kiss and a cuddle?

oldflame wrote:

the only thing is he is living with a girl that doesnt like me nor i like her because she iswith him

you met the other day, after thinking he was dead, and suddenly you hate his girlfriend?
after you had a cuddle with him?
how outrageous is that!
the TRAMP!
how dare she get up on her self righteous little soap box just because you are in love with him, snogged him, and now want to fúck her out of her home where she has been living with him...

oldflame wrote:

(being honest).

please refer back to the smoke signal, he wanted to get laid thing. maybe after 10 years, he thought hed finally get a poke out of you?

oldflame wrote:

i am hoping he is serious becuase i know he is the one,

ahhhhhh.

so you dont actually know?
you are only hoping?

oldflame wrote:

(being honest). there will never be anyone who can be him.

youre not 16 are you?
i remeber being in love with a girl like that when i 16. funnily enough, i am not marrying her, i got over her. of course, it didnt take me 10 years. what a waste of your life that was eh?

oldflame wrote:

(being honest). I dont know what to do though,

that is perfectly clear....

oldflame wrote:

should i give hima time limit to ask her to leave his house or do i wait?

you are going to ask her to leave his house?

you are a fúcking bunny boiler arent you?

oldflame wrote:

any help would be great

go out, get laid, move on.

its women like you that Single White female are based on, you do know that dont you?

oldflame

White Wash Man:- **** You **** The Lot Of Ye Pack Of Whankers!!!!!!!!!!!

Nuttzz

truth hurts doesnt it.................

Gordon

WWM ease up ffs.
oldflame, why not explain your emotions regarding the responses raised as opposed to calling WWM (WhiteWashTroll) and the lot of us a pack of whankers?

WhiteWashMan

oldflame wrote:

White Wash Man:- Love You Love The Lot Of Ye Pack Of Whankers!!!!!!!!!!!

OK.
im sorry.

why dont you run through it and tell us again exactly what part i was wrong in and educate us. we can only go on your post.

which part of my post hit a nerve?

was it the point where you boil bunnies, or the part where you decided that you hated this guys girlfriend?

do you think he really wants to be with you? will he want to be with you again if you dont put out? i mean, he may have trouble with his girl, but i bet shes really good fun in bed.

*nudge* * nudge* * wink* *wink*



hey gordie, can we start pythonesque stuff here too?
i cant belive you called me a troll for disecting this rubbish.
pffft! you used to respect me!

the_syco

WhiteWashMan, what you say is true, I'd say.
Lemme get this straight, girl; after 10 years, and one kiss, you expect him to kick out his gf (who must be getting along with him, as they moved in together), and let you in, with one thing promised; no sex???

Girl, wake up. Seriously. If you cared for him, you'd have kept some sort of contact. 10 years, and you only think of him when you think he's dead? Sure honey, you must really care for this guy.

As for the bubby-boiler bit, that may be going a bit far, but WHY THE F*CK WOULD SHE LIKE YOU, IF YOUR SOLE OBJECTIVE IS TO ROB HER BOYFRIEND???

There. I've said it. You think she's gonna put out the red carpet for her bf's ex, with the knowledge that you want him back.

Go on; give him 10 days to kick her out. He won't. But he may tell you to f*ck off. That you have no right to try to shatter his happyness, after 10 years of no contact.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

ykt0di9url7bc3

oldflame...

you dont need that mess...

enjoy what ye had and enjoy the fact he wants to kick her out for you...

but close that chapter quickly and bury it while its still a nice memory...

as WWM cruely points out, the situation doesnt smell too good and the fact that you think 'he' is the 'one' and he hasnt automaticaly ended it with the other girl is enough info to tell you that he doesnt feel the same way....

"Dont worry, I'll let her down gently"

"Trust me"

you are probably cursing our names as you read down but it helps to see how blindly your feelings can lead you and you should take control and live for an easier life and forget about continueing on with that mess of a situation...

and WWM's post could be the kick in the arse that saves you a lot of hassle

Pataman

2 long term relationships and still a virgin?