Just a quiet word in your ear

mycroft

So I'm in the barbershop on Saturday, and chatting about the football, but I keep getting distracted by the guy beside me who has an annoying familiar voice. Unfortunately I'm pretty much blind, and glasses arent an option when you're getting a haircut, so I don't know who he is.

So we finish up at just about the same time, and I cop I've been getting a haircut beside our Minister for Justice, Micheal Mc Dowell.

Now while getting a haircut is one of the most informal and relaxed situations a bloke can get into with another stranger (it's not like we're going to do the girlie talk about relationships yadda yadda thing) you can talk away about anything with another guy. Furthermore since they're mid cut they can just walk away, you have a captive audience.

So, my question is which politcian would you like a quiet few words words with and what would you like to talk about.

My quiet few words would have been, "So Micheal why the fu*k has it been three years since you promised us a gardaí ombudsman despite the fact that we have the perfect role model to base our system on working brilliantly in the North"

And for you info, the balding neo nazi got a short back n sides.

(My other thought after leaving the barbershop was "Sh*t I should have kept some of his hair for the voodoo doll I've been working on")

Redleslie2

I'd congratulate him on the referendum result. "That'll stem the flood of darkie chancers for a while." Then I'd extoll the virtues of Pinochet's PDesque Chile and moan about the general's current spot of legal bother, brought on of course by sinister politically motivated forces and traitors who should have disappeared ages ago. "Face it, youse are effed in the next election, so youse should organise a coup if the shinners, labour or the greens get anywhere near government. Liz O'Donnell would look good in a kitsch military uniform wouldn't she Michael? Go on Michael admit it. Jesus, Is that a boner Michael?"

grumpytrousers

Redleslie2 wrote:

I'd congratulate him on the referendum result. "That'll stem the flood of darkie chancers for a while." Then I'd extoll the virtues of Pinochet's PDesque Chile and moan about the general's current spot of legal bother, brought on of course by sinister politically motivated forces and traitors who should have disappeared ages ago. "Face it, youse are effed in the next election, so youse should organise a coup if the shinners, labour or the greens get anywhere near government. Liz O'Donnell would look good in a kitsch military uniform wouldn't she Michael? Go on Michael admit it. Jesus, Is that a boner Michael?"

I'd like to think i'd have said something as well thought out, eloquent and erudite to him

Odds are I'd have just called him a c*** though...:D

Victor

Redleslie2 wrote:

"Is that a boner Michael?"

The proper way to say it is "Is that a boner, SIR?"

Manach

organise a coup
Oh come the revoltution I am so looking foward to my new post in the secret police, with the added bonus of black makes me look thin.

my question is which politcian would you like a quiet few words words with and what would you like to talk about
GWB re. hunt for WMD; which country is the next addition to the US Empire?

DublinWriter

Micheal Mc Dowell? Haircut? He must have been in the seat for all of three minutes.

I once passed by Micheal Martin when I was walking down Kildare St. and I never had a strong an urge to go up to someone and smack them one as I did that day - and I'm a pacifist!

Still - would have been fun to have him queueing in A&E for a couple of hours.

dahamsta

Quick Nazi salute, heel click and "Jawohl Mein Fuhrer" and out the door!

(Sorry Godwin.)

adam

Redleslie2

Come on, which poor lost and pathetic PD voting soul gave me the negative rep for my post?

tba

theres two things that should not be disscused in a barger shop, Politics and Religion.

Safe topics include sports and the weather.

gandalf

tba wrote:

theres two things that should not be disscused in a barger shop, Politics and Religion.

Safe topics include sports and the weather.

Damn right you never know what that guy with the scissors believes in (Sports could be out as well :eek:)

sceptre

tba wrote:

theres two things that should not be disscused in a barger shop, Politics and Religion.

Not at all. I was in a barbers in Enniskillen many moons ago (mid-90s I suppose). I don't go more north than Galway all that often so obviously I was wondering which side of the slice the guy with the scissors buttered his bread on. SPent a good 15 minutes between the queue and the sitting in the chair trying to spot some subtle sign. Half way through the cut he mentions (for no particular reason that I can remember, maybe I was saying what a nice modern market town it was) that his brother was once put away for bombing the post office. Taig. Apart from the cheap CDs in Woolies, that's what I remember fondly about my trip to Fermanagh.

DublinWriter

Redleslie2 wrote:

Come on, which poor lost and pathetic PD voting soul gave me the negative rep for my post?

"You av been reported to zee gestapo fur your comments about our Glorious Leeder!"

That action sounds true to character for your average PD sliobhain.

mycroft

Not worthy of a thread all to itself Redleslie2 but this should cheer you up

http://www.youngpds.org/

theres two things that should not be disscused in a barger shop, Politics and Religion.Safe topics include sports and the weather.

You get your hair cut in the wrong part of Glasgow and all bets are off about sport being safe.

Redleslie2

mycroft wrote:

Not worthy of a thread all to itself Redleslie2 but this should cheer you up

http://www.youngpds.org/

Heh, the PD's - the drinker's party. :eek:

"The YPDs encourage the Government to open up the public house market to greater competition by ending the arbitrary restriction on the number of licences.

The YPDs call for the ending of restrictions on opening hours for licensed premises."

mycroft

The YPDs call for the ending of restrictions on opening hours for licensed premises."

this is from the youth wing of a party who's strong man is a whiskers away from re-introducing holy hour as part of his crack down on fun.