Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

~textual relationship~

Options
  • 28-08-2004 2:08pm
    #1
    shiv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭


    i once sat on the floor of a bathroom in barcelona
    and wept at the way technology could aid and abet
    betrayal

    sly anonymity concealed beneath a tiny envelope
    one click of a button
    and all the world can see

    your struggle for ego preservation
    your deep-rooted insecurity

    when i thought it was just me
    who was precious enough to be privy
    to your short declarations of desire

    bursts of lust
    suspension of trust
    one beep away from obliterating love

    (you simply forgot to delete your sent items)

    so now i try to stop myself from rummaging through
    your electonic pockets
    or dusting the telephonic fingerprints
    you've left behind

    this little blank screen
    across my heart
    blinking vacantly

    and even now you can't see
    the enormity of a hurt
    written off by a technicality

    this cracked-open cavity
    crammed with vulnerability
    i have to try and type my way out of


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    BEAT
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,945 ✭✭✭BEAT


    I like it ;)


  • Options
    #3
    shiv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭shiv


    thank you beat! i appreciate it! :D


  • Options
    #4
    niall mc cann
    Registered Users Posts: 105 ✭✭niall mc cann


    that's really, really great, shiv.

    heartbreaking, though.


  • Options
    #5
    shiv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭shiv


    hey niall, thanks for the feedback, it's great to get (especially when it's positive ;)

    the subject matter is still pretty raw with me, but i find writing (and getting it out) helps ease the hurt a bit..cheap therapy anyway! :D


  • Options
    #6
    Shad0r
    Registered Users Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭Shad0r


    Very enjoyable ;)
    Keep up the good work.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    shiv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭shiv


    Thanks Shad0r..


  • Options
    #8
    nobodythere
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭nobodythere


    That's really really good. I love the way you sort of detach emotion from it in some parts (e.g "you simply forgot to delete your sent items"). Really really like it.


  • Options
    #9
    shiv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭shiv


    Hi grasshoppa,

    Thanks a mil for your comments..I hadn't really noticed how detached it sounded when writing it, but it makes sense. The whole experience had a numbing effect on me, so that must have come through in me trying to deal with it while writing..


  • Options
    #10
    SprostonGreen
    Registered Users Posts: 2,286 ✭✭✭SprostonGreen


    Thats very good Shiv. Poignant.


  • Options
    #11
    nobodythere
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭nobodythere


    Yeah sometimes the most poignant things can be the things most detached from emotion.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    MojoMaker
    Registered Users Posts: 4,592 ✭✭✭MojoMaker


    The same thing happened to me once. I found something awful in a partner's sent messages that rent my world in two over one sweep of the second hand on the wall.

    Nicely described here and good job on the contemporary placement.


Advertisement