somone not pulling their weight, letting us down constantly

chewy

a groups friends of mine are doing a project and one of the guys isn't pulling his weight in fact he keeps letting us down turning up late when he has things we need and saying he is sorry then doing it again...

how do i deal with this, ive been polite and understanding and tried to accomodate him, the group has joked around with him admonishly, i told him in a nice tone that he keeps promising to do things and not done them... he just promises to do em again...

Gordon

Tell him that he has one chance left or you're kicking him off the project.

chewy

well i don't think (in fact i know ) its not the sort of situation where anyone can kick someone out

Gordon

You pay peanuts: you get monkeys.

I stand by my post until you give more peanuts. As far as anyone knows, it simply is that simple.

GoneShootin

Is this a college project or is there money involved ? If its college then talk to the supervisor and have him removed from the group.

If your paying him money to do the task then simply stop paying him.

Gordon

chewy wrote:

ok be harsh but honest your saying

No, I'm saying: "Tell him that he has one chance left or you're kicking him off the project."

chewy, you seem like you're a nice person, nice people get f*cked over really easily, and it seems like you are getting f*cked over.

Tell him that he has one chance left or you're kicking him off the project.

chewy

well i guess i concerned because i don't want to be seen as ordering people about when it not my position to do so
were all supposed to be on the level

i guess i should talk to the others

fiacha

if it's a work / college thing....write an email / letter to him as a group explaining the situation. give him a deadline to sort things out.if the bs continues, report it to your supervisor.

if it's just a group of friends working on a project
(a) tell me what it is because I am ultra nosy
and (b) have a word as a group and see what happens, if it continues tell him to f off.

chump

why don't you hide a pile of poo in his bag?

also it is possible that the poor lad has some issues and problems and is too embarassed to share them and that's why he is late... if this could be the case maybe it's best to hold your breath

it is also possible that he is too cool for school and see's you lot as fairly easy to let down because you don't speak up - speak up.

communicate - don't not communicate

chewy

the ideal and my preferred option for this situation, and this is sorta why it is so tricky, is that it is the sort of situation where rather then the end point being kicking the guy off is that he cops himself on and learns to be more reliable

Gordon

Ah, the nice guy approach. If you were to choose between the project and copping this guy on - which would you choose? (there is no third option to my hypothetical question)

chewy

but intrinsic in such project is us learning about ourselves...

i also worried i might get some negatativity thrown my way...

Gordon

Well it's good that you have your baser want sorted out.

So the project is related to your relationship with this guy? Is he a plant? In fact, you're really not giving much to go on except teasers.

Don't worry about the negativity going your way. You'll be kicking him out for the good of the project, and that's what matters. Obviously you don't want to do this so you can give him a chance, a proper ultimatum. Ultimatums are great time savers.

LegacyUser

Listen, Im usually a quiet enough guy, well not quiet at all really, but that sort of live and let live attitude, what people do never really bothers me even if its directed at i.e. an insult, i just let it slide. Who cares what he does right?

But with something like this, a project, i would never, ever let someone prevent me from doing the damn well best I can. Whether its school, college or work, each has their respective awards and i'll be damned if I dont get the one I deserve.

And this is exactly the way you should see it, he is preventing you and the group achieveing their maximum potential, so what if their is no prize or grade, self satisfaction is usually the best reward of all, and this is why no one is going to care if you do the following.

Next time he misses a deadline, I would go along the lines of ' You have got to be fúcking kidding me, this is the xx time you haven't handed it in, look, we have a project to do and if you're not going to pull your weight i'll be damned if we're going to suffer, so ****ing get your act together, or you're out.

You could do this politer but the message must be clear, ship up or ship out, now this might work and he gets going or he might leave, either way you win. But you have to show you're serious.

I don't think anyone will care if you do this, in fact, the others will be glad you did wishing they had the balls to do this. They'll respect your determination and honesty.

DO IT!

chewy

well i txted 4 of the other ppl about , probably won't be seeing them for over a week so only way to do it...

the other guy who is doing the most work and who's opinion i respect the most disargrees with me, says the guy doing his best, he's collecting stuff for us but i think he only doing this cos his dad's giving him lift, and if he had to walk and carry the stuff he wouldnt be so quick to do it... and then of course as i said he then turns up late with the stuff.. but if yerman disagrees with me

im not saying what the project is cos that just complicate the discussion, it really not that exiciting...

LegacyUser

chewy wrote:

im not saying what the project is cos that just complicate the discussion, it really not that exiciting...

Well it makes a big difference if its work/college/school.
If you want to take the easy way, just point out how such and such can't get done until he does bit, so you can annoy him until he gets it in, hopefully speeding. If this doesnt work eventually snap his neck.

seamus

As Gordon says, you're not giving us a whole lot to go on.

You're young, and you're working on a group project. So it's either a band, you're planning to blow up the dail, or you're building a makeshift skate/bike park out of dirt and wood.

For the first two, you want to get things done, you want the project to be successful, and you need everyone on board for it to work. A band needs everyone working 100% or everyone is going to get pissed off at the lack of progress. If it's anything like a band, where it cannot function without everyone on board, then you have to tell him to cop on or take a hike, and stop wasting all of your time. It's harsh, but as Gordon says, if you're too nice, you'll spend the rest of your life being dragged down by spongers and underachievers.

If it's something like BMX dirt ramps in some field - ie something that will get done eventually, no matter how many people are working on it -, then simply remove any responsibility from him. Don't ask him to bring anything, don't rely on him to do anything, and make it clear. If he offers to bring/do something, tell him "No, I'll do it, otherwise we'll be sitting around waiting for you, or you'll forget". In this case, you get to make your point without being too harsh, that is, he can still participate, and the door is open at any time for him to get his act together.

Unpossible

So it's either a band, you're planning to blow up the dail, or you're building a makeshift skate/bike park out of dirt and wood.

How the hell did you find out about my band; skater terrorists ?


I say give the guy a stern warning, if he doesn't start pulling his weight then kick him off.

stormkeeper

I agree with what the rest are saying, you should give him an ultimatum. I mean, in any group setting, any decision you make you'll geta minority giving you hassle over a decision, you should stick to your guns. It took me over to realise that I should stop being too nice, and act like a bastard, if it's for the good of the many, because no one wants to get dragged down with the slackers/people causing hassle.

Look at it this way, if the project falls behind because you didn't give him an ultimateum/throw him out, your group gets in trouble for not completing the deadline, and if you do give him the ultimatum/get rid of him, you get hassle off the minority who didn't want him to go. By this logic, it's a lose-lose. You lose either way at the start, but the assertive choice, as opposed to the passive one is much more beneficial in the long term. If you get branded a bastard for doing the right thing, take it proudly. We're all bastards anyway, just bastards of varying degrees...

This is how I see things at the moment; The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

I'm not sure if this entirely appropriate, but a friend of mine said, "It's either to use or be used". Sadly, this is the way the world works and we just have to deal with it. Sure, you can be a nice guy still, but don't be a pushover either, take control!



NB: I'm sure there's something useful in here, in between my ranting >_>

Big Ears

seamus wrote:

If it's something like BMX dirt ramps in some field - ie something that will get done eventually, no matter how many people are working on it -, then simply remove any responsibility from him. Don't ask him to bring anything, don't rely on him to do anything, and make it clear. If he offers to bring/do something, tell him "No, I'll do it, otherwise we'll be sitting around waiting for you, or you'll forget". In this case, you get to make your point without being too harsh, that is, he can still participate, and the door is open at any time for him to get his act together.

I was going to post something similer to this until I read you're post .
remove resposibility from him , and if he asks why he has nothing to do , tell him he was'nt pulling his weight .
he will either shape up or just do nothing , and in the latter cause you don't realy want someone who prepared to just do nothing .

BaZmO*

chewy wrote:

well i guess i concerned because i don't want to be seen as ordering people about when it not my position to do so
were all supposed to be on the level

Yeah but that's the problem, he is not working on the same level as you, therefore you need to say something to him, or you could spend the next year giving out about him on Boards!!!

B.