I can't take it anymore....

Loser271984

Ok, here goes I would reaaly like peoples advice on this.Prior to a month ago I had a normal upbringing,happy familes etc, but my lifes been turned up side down I just dont know what to do anymore.Im 19,it all started when I failed my college exams,that was ok,I was goin to repeat them,I had my parents give me a hand to pay for repeats.I also had a girlfriend who I fell in love with and we were gettin on great etc....a great circle of friends..you know the drill..Then everything fell apart,First of all 2 friends of mine were having a severe disagreement,basically He liked her and he told her he liked her,she was stunned,didnt know what to do blah blah.OK then for some reason he said he liked her friend(dunno why?? and ive said it to him)She told him to go for it.He didnt get anywhere.The next day I got wind of what happened and I confronted her,askin her why did she tell him to try and be with her friend when she knew well that her friend didnt like him..I know confusing...Anyway I told my friend (him) what she said and they had a talk..everythings sorted but now Im the one thats been pushed out,they barely say hello to me.I thought iwas doing the right thing defending my friend she should have told him right away he had no chance.Then I was scheduled to meet up with my gf,we had a long distance realationship,we talked every nite etc...)altough she had a few family issues and she is moving up to dublin city centre)met up nearly every 2 or 3 weeks for a few days..Any way we had a rough patch..she said she had enough so I went up to her the next day we made up I told her I loved her and she said it back to me..Top of the world..2 weeks later we met up I sensed something was wrong,she then said that somethin was wrong but there was no real reason yet to break up with me but she did say that she would never love me cos I could never 'Talk properly'I didnt understand this at all,Im a very open and honest person,I was easily able to talk 2 her???She said we had nothing in common ok,talking on a phone is **** theres nothing emotional about it,but we did have things in common,I really tried so ****ing hard to make it work and now Im ****ing heartbroken,and lonely,no one to turn to and have no friends and this week I found out that my parents are splitting up....I just cant see a way to get myself out of this..

elivsvonchiaing

It seems to me your biggest issue is what you mentioned last- your parents splitting up. While you may feel your life is falling apart - look to the future. They will still be there to support you. They may be in different houses - but they are still your parents. They may appear not to be shoulders to cry on right now - but if you were to talk to either of them - spill your guts out - they are both likely to be of help and comfort. There are probably other family members with whom you could do the same.

On the gf front - it strikes me you are dealing with a bucket with a hole in it - no matter how much you put into that relationship it would have failed anyway - count yourself lucky that this happened early on and not in 10 years time.

More than likely you are reading too much into what your mates think of you. You will find, I hope, things aren't as bad here as they seem. Failing that you are at a stage in life where you will meet new friends anyhow - so stop worrying and try to keep the sunny side up. This may sound quite hollow right now, so try first to do something that completely distracts you - go and see a good movie or something - just don't think thoughts like the last time I was in the cinema I was with...

CathyMoran

I know that things do not seem great at the moment, but I can honestly say that things will look up soon. These things are transitional periods, you will learn a lot from these times and move on to better things. Consider it as another door opening. I thought that my world had colapsed last September when my long term relationship failed but instead I got a chance to change my life to the way I wanted. I am not saying that what you are going through is easy - most people would not choose to go through this time of flux but you will emerge stronger, if a bit world weary. I really do wish you all the best.

Typedef

I think your real problem is punctuation and spelling.

No wonder this supposed girlfriend complained on the lack of communication. Texts like

DearbabyIloveyouifyou'donlycomeflyawaywithmetosomewhereniceandcuddlyblah.

Have that general sort of effect

Naos

above message is harsh...

Without me sounding like a heartless ar*ehole, I'd be pragmatic in the sense that when your mates find out about your parents situation, they will stop acting like d*ckheads and talk to you about it. When that happens you can share your emotions with them and things will start to look up for you..

Paddy20

A private and confidential talk with 'The Samaritans*'. Is usually a good way of getting it all off your chest, either on the phone or you can call in and see them.

Sometimes in life, talking things over with a complete non judgmental street wise stranger can have have surprisingly cheerful results.

Also, IMO your communication skills are fine :cool:

Just my 2cs worth of a suggestion.

The only way is up ?..

stevejazzx

we all go through crazy stuff from time to time and yours is tough now thats true but ya just gotta keep on keepin on my friend, try to think of all the good stuff you got going on and imagine yourself looking back on this feeling good that you got thru it so well.

billy the squid

Typedef wrote:

I think your real problem is punctuation and spelling.

No wonder this supposed girlfriend complained on the lack of communication. Texts like

DearbabyIloveyouifyou'donlycomeflyawaywithmetosomewhereniceandcuddlyblah.

Have that general sort of effect

well when your desparate to say something or get it off your chest you tend to write it down and forget the full stops and the capital letters. give the poster a break.

I would second the suggestion that you should call the Samaritans. their number is 1890609090

You are not alone. there are others who feel the same as you. who have had their world turned inside-out by the actions of other people, and it would seem that those very people don't give a **** about how what they do will affect you. trust me I could write a whole book on it. Try talking to your friends and see where you stand with them. If your suspicions are confirmed then you need to get out and find more friends.

Things will get better

Unpossible

Don't worry about the friends thing, at 19 I was part of a large group of friends (almost all women ) I always thought the group was fine but for some reason everone started fighting and the group split, then the splits split and so on. I now (as I did then) have another different set of friends. As for the gf, well long distance relationships suck and imo don't work although I may be proved wrong (I'll be in another one from next week on). You will make new friends, you will have more g/fs. I can't comment on the parent thing as I have no expirence of anything like that.


chin up