lost (the first part)

Soxi

lost (about ¼ of the story)

((This is the first part I post, of quite a long story. I don’t post it all at once, because I’ve to translate it from Dutch to English, and I always write with my pen in my schoolbooks… so it takes a little time to get it all into my computer… My Dutch puns are hard to translate, but I try. I really want to know what everyone thinks about this, and I hope that if it gets really crappy, it can help tired people to get some sleep! ) (My good deed for today! ))


The dream

I could feel the wind, blowing away my fears, as I looked down to the street below. It was a long way down, and height made the parked cars look like little toys.
This had always been my favourite place, also in my living years; the roof of a dilapidated shopping mall. Especially at night, when ‘the good people’ of this world, who bought enough to make them feel a little less worthless in daytime, were sleeping.
At night there’s only me, and the lost ones. They like to draw and write what they feel on the roll-down shutters of the creepy looking shops. And there is an old, blind man, who listens how the rats are looking for something to eat between the junk piles and junkies. Sometimes he grabs a rat, and tells the little creature that junk food isn’t healthy.
Once I passed him by, and he seemed to notice me. So it’s true, I thought, some things can really only been seen by the eyes of a blind… I stared for the last time to this street… and jumped. The ground came closer and closer…

‘Closer…. Closer…. You’re almost there…’ the old man said to his daughter. Everybody laughed, when she bunked her head against the donkey shaped paper bag filled with candy*. She gave it two punches with her stick, and the candy fell on her head.
She smiled, everything was the way she wanted it to be, she only missed one person, her older sister.
Her sister had passed away two months ago. Her car was found on the railway, but her body wasn’t in it. The police said it probably was swept away, and they were still looking for it. But this 10-year-old girl, named Kaya, doubted that. Her sister, Dimphey, hadn’t died in that car accident, that was one thing she was certain about!
Sometimes Kaya woke up, and thought it was all a bad dream. But the car key she wore around her neck threw her back to reality. It was Dimpheys key. And to her it was like a part of her lost sister.
Of course, it hurt when she looked at it, but it pained her more she’d also been in the car, sleeping. Now she’s still in a ‘car’: her own yellow-wheeled wheelchair…
This day Kaya had celebrated her tenth birthday. This was the first time since the accident she’d seen her father cheerful. It made her feel better, it meant he still could laugh…
He said the same thing to his mirror, followed by the words he’d thought so many times before: any how, it can’t get worst!
He was different then their mother. She never got out of her room anymore. She spent all of her time reading Dimpheys old books, about magic and hypnotising.
Kaya didn’t know her mother woke up everyday, hoping to die.

‘DIE!...’ I heard a junkie scream, ‘I want to die!’. At the same time I landed on the street. Somehow it still seemed to hurt, though I couldn’t feel. I drifted away thinking of the day I died. It was some hours after a car accident. My little sister got hurt badly, but I was all right. That made me feel guilty. So I called the ambulance and went away. That was when I met him for the first time. I had spoken to him so many times before. This ghost named Darryl, who said he was a guardian angel... now I know better, he only wanted me to die, because I was gifted, just like my mother and little sister. But then he said it was better for me to die because of her, and I believed him. So I gave him my life.
Now I’m here… a lost soul without a body. I came back to help my mother and sister, they can still save this mad world.
When I was thinking of this, I hadn’t notice someone was looking at me. But now I did.
I always thought mortals couldn’t see me, but apparently I was wrong, cause the blind man, the one that always talked to the rats, was looking in my eyes and asked me: ‘who are you?’.
I didn’t answer. Suddenly I felt angry, if he could see me, and talk to me, why couldn’t my family? My mother tried all day and he, a stranger, just stood there and talked to me!
My angry somehow blinded me, and grabbed my knife. He just stared at it, and laughed. Then he looked at the ground. When he looked up again, I saw his face had changed. His blind eyes had turned yellow, and his unhealthy skin had become palely green. I thought I was hallucinating, so I didn’t notice he was holding a burning sword…

A burning sword! The creature holding it was looking from it to her sister. Kaya felt sick. What could she do? She’d never felt this helpless before… she tried to run towards the scene, but she couldn’t move. And her sister, what would he do to her? She tried to scream at her… DIMPHEY LOOK OUT!
Then the creature with the sword turned to her, and said:
‘Kaya, are you allright?’ ‘I heard you scream, you probably had a bad dream!’
she opened her eyes and was looking to her father’s worried face… a dream… just a bad dream, but was it?


(((>>> * :eek: I can't remeber the name of those things. I thought it's something mexican, but I'm not sure... if anybody knows how those things are named... please let me know! <<<)))

AngryBadger

Excellent. I like the way you're moving between the thoughts of the older, and younger sister. There are a few places where difficulties in translation are obvious, but this is still a fantastic transition from dutch to english. Kudos