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my mustard problem

whosurpaddy · 2004-08-20 13:09:06

well id like to begin my tale by saying that once i was like most you you. i could enjoy many differant flavours and strengths of mustard from frenchs when i wanted a bit of rough to colemans when i fancied a good cry to various french mustards for some posh totty. I enjoyed them all equally and as long as i had some form…

20-08-2004 1:09pm

#1

whosurpaddy

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,718 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2002

Posts: 1632

well id like to begin my tale by saying that once i was like most you you. i could enjoy many differant flavours and strengths of mustard from frenchs when i wanted a bit of rough to colemans when i fancied a good cry to various french mustards for some posh totty. I enjoyed them all equally and as long as i had some form of mustard close to hand my condimental needs were always met.

then i met her, hellmans dijonnaisse(the picture above is her american cousin but it gives you an idea of her beauty. some people may find the picture a little saucy but its 2004) at first it was fantastic. together we enjoyed all manner of snackery, and several times when we were more adventurous we even had threesomes with some of the aforementioned other mustards.

but before long things started to change, she became more controlling, one time, after she saw me with another mustard she became angry and refused to put out (her mustard) and said she felt empty inside. its not gotten to the point where i never go near any of the other mustards in my fridge, let alone some of the sachets in restaurants (although admittedly they are only after one thing).

so i ask you oh mustard lovers of boards, what am i to do? should i give up all hopes of ever regaining my love for other mustards and settle down with the little hussy or should i go cold turkey and hope my former love for a diverse array of mustardy flavours resurfaces in the future?

/ as an aside im slightly troubled by the fact that when i did a search for my beloved hellman's dijonnaise on google, the first result that it turned up was a thread on this very board , by one ecksor. talking about her. has she been seeing him behind my back? oh the turmoil

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#2 20-08-2004 1:15pm

Beruthiel

Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2002

Posts: 41547

whosurpaddy wrote:

but before long things started to change, she became more controlling, one time, after she saw me with another mustard she became angry and refused to put out (her mustard) and said she felt empty inside. its not gotten to the point where i never go near any of the other mustards in my fridge

blindfold her
this way she can't see what you are doing with other mustards
you'll have to be very quiet though, unless you can get ear plugs small enough for her...

yours helpfully
Beruthiel

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