untitled song, comments welcome

Fenian

When i grow up i know i'll see,
My fair land united and free.
The day will come when we're one and all.
You won't mistake it, you'll hear the call.

But now we pray for better days.
A time when we can live and play.
On our untroubled streets without a fear.
Our day will come, it's surely near.

Our brave men who fought and died.
They gave up their lives without a sigh.
And our brave women from Cumann na mBan,
We won't forget ye, ye fought the wrongs.

So clench your fist and rasie in salute.
And curse those pipers and Orange flutes.
They try to break us and also kill,
but we all know they never will.

So sing it loud and sing it proud,
And gather all in patriot crowds.
our day will come, we know it will,
We shan't forget the massacres still.

The men at LoughGall and Derry's streets.
The SAS and para's fleets.
They come in droves from across the sea.
Those British tyrannts who kill you and me.

This is the end of my rebel song.
So please remember to fight the wrongs.
Don't forget , i know you won't.
Tiocfaidh ár la, our day will come.

BEAT

absolutley brilliant

adonis

good rhyming,
pity about the sentiment :-(

Naos

personally I dont like the rhyming. It'd be too annoying in a song I reckon. But as always well put together fenian..

Fenian

i agree, it rhymes too much, but i have never heard my lyrics put to a tune. still i don't think it's half bad.

dublinario

Fenian, I know and can play countless Rebel songs on the Guitar. I commend the effort you have gone to writing your song, but I wouldn't regard it as adding much to the current body. It is vague, and manifests itself as a fusion of anti-British sentiment and a longing for a united Ireland. That kind of vagueness may have been passable a long time ago in the heat of the troubles, but less appropriate in these more cathartic of times, times when the road map to peace and political restitution have taken precedence over Rebellion.

Personally, if I were in your position, wanting to write a song about the Republican cause, I would perhaps focus on a single attrocity e.g. Bloody Sunday (although both U2 and John Lennon have beaten you to it!). Or if you wanted to be exceptionally brave, you could write a song condeming the murderous, unconscionable acts perpetrated by the 'Real IRA'. Now that would be refreshing.

Fenian

I've never been or ever will be a fan of the Real IRA boys, drug dealing scumbags in my book,amongst other things, but i wouldn't really fancy writing anything about them. Our ancient enemy has committed enough atrocities for inspiration for a million songs.

Thanks for the advice

dublinario

Fenian, I notice you put up another song recently too, and it is very good. And yet in your last posting you say you have never heard any of your songs put to a tune. I was just wondering, why not? If ever there was somebody crying out to learn the Guitar and become a Balladeer, you fit the bill. You would be amazed how quickly you would get up and running. Most Trad Irish songs contain only *3 or 4 chords, so you don't have to be Jimmy Hendrix to accompany your songs with some instrumentation

* - this is no slight on Irish Trad music, which I love. As with all music, irrespective of the chordal structure of a song, the possibilities for ornamentation are endless. After all, 99% of Blues works off only 3 chords!