GF and her online antics

LegacyUser

Well I've being going out with my GF for a almost 3 years with a break in between. I thought I trusted her but I'm not sure now.

She used my pc to log onto a Internet dating come chat site and enabled the remember me thingy so when I went to the site I found she had being messaging some guy and flirting with him and he doesn't live all that far from her. I'm not sure if she is just having a laugh or really looking to meet someone??

I created an account and sent her a message asking if she would like to meet up or does she have a BF? I know it sounds bad but I really care for her and I don't want to be made a fool of. She doesn't access the net very often so could be a while before I get a reply.

Am I being stupid or should I be worried??

ShevY

if shes only having a laugh,
and she later finds out what you are doing, you could be in some trouble :eek:

spose tis your computer..

dont get caught!

ShriekingSheet

hmmmm

I'd imagine alotta people are gonna tell you to "relax" and she's not doin any harm once it's only online etc

But think of ot this way- if she was the one with the computer and caught you doing the same...

"you're damn right she'd freak..." -Marcellous Wallace

Dunno what I'd do but don't feel guilty for trying to catch her out- you have the right to suspect something although I do hope she is just having a laugh and Im sure she is faithful to you

Good Luck

Victor

Being Silly wrote:

She used my pc to log onto a Internet dating come chat site and enabled the remember me thingy ..... I created an account and sent her a message asking if she would like to meet up or does she have a BF?

You did log out, yeah?

LegacyUser

Yeah,

Thanks for the help ShriekingSheet

Sleipnir

I think you're dead right.
Install a keylogger too.

midget lord

Confront her about it. You'll know by her reaction whether she is posting for 'fun' or interest. Either way i think she's in the wrong.

AngryBadger

Being Silly wrote:

Well I've being going out with my GF for a almost 3 years with a break in between. I thought I trusted her but I'm not sure now.

She used my pc to log onto a Internet dating come chat site and enabled the remember me thingy so when I went to the site I found she had being messaging some guy and flirting with him and he doesn't live all that far from her. I'm not sure if she is just having a laugh or really looking to meet someone??

I created an account and sent her a message asking if she would like to meet up or does she have a BF? I know it sounds bad but I really care for her and I don't want to be made a fool of. She doesn't access the net very often so could be a while before I get a reply.

Am I being stupid or should I be worried??

Not to put too fine a point on it,but your faking an account to entrap her is about the stupidest thing you could have done. Maybe there's something going on, and maybe there isn't, the right way to sort out is to ask her, this fake account BS is just muddying the waters.

If you relationship can only survive with you deceiving each other then you have much bigger problems than her possibly flirting with strangers online.

climaxer

Could this flirting have gone on when you were on the break or going through a rough patch. How explicit was the flirting. Maybe she was only having some harmless fun. In saying that I wouldn't "flirt" on the net if Iwas in a relationship myself because I wouldn't like it done to me. YOu should really confront her and just ask her straight out what's the story. I wouldn't try "spy" on her though because if its innocent she might never forgive you for mistrusting her so much.

Also I don't think you're stupid and I would be worried too but would def find out by asking her directly. I mean what if she never replies - you'd never know and always be doubting if she didn't reply because she overlooked the message or is actually seeing someone else?

Zulu

Stop the spying for one. You'll only screw things up yourself.
Secondly - just explain to her what happened. Ie - she left auto complete on (or whatever) and you could see what happened.

A similar problem happen with an ex of mine. Vis-a-vie a photograph from holidays. We had both been on holidays together with a large group of mates. About 6 months later, I accidentally discovered a photograph of her in bed with one of the lads. It looked awful. I, naturally was very pissed. I confronted her on it. Turns out, he had hopped into the bed when there were loads of people present; the photo was taken; the photo was developed; she felt if I saw it I would be upset; she hid it; I discovered it; it looked worse.

Moral of the story, simple honest answer - muddied by deceit.

0utshined

How did you discover her details were on the site? Did you visit it yourself or find it in your history?

LegacyUser

Zulu wrote:

Stop the spying for one. You'll only screw things up yourself.
Secondly - just explain to her what happened. Ie - she left auto complete on (or whatever) and you could see what happened.

A similar problem happen with an ex of mine. Vis-a-vie a photograph from holidays. We had both been on holidays together with a large group of mates. About 6 months later, I accidentally discovered a photograph of her in bed with one of the lads. It looked awful. I, naturally was very pissed. I confronted her on it. Turns out, he had hopped into the bed when there were loads of people present; the photo was taken; the photo was developed; she felt if I saw it I would be upset; she hid it; I discovered it; it looked worse.

And you believed her ?

simu

AngryBadger wrote:

Not to put too fine a point on it,but your faking an account to entrap her is about the stupidest thing you could have done.

It could have its advantages - maybe she'll be more honest about her desires and so on, on the anonymous interweb in which case you'll be able to use this information to become her best lover so far!

Zulu

Unregstered wrote:

And you believed her ?

Well, yes frankly. I knew all the people involved. I knew the circumstances. I knew her.

AngryBadger

simu wrote:

It could have its advantages - maybe she'll be more honest about her desires and so on, on the anonymous interweb in which case you'll be able to use this information to become her best lover so far!

Gotta disagree
,I think this kind of thing makes a potentially awkward situation into a bad situation, just say it to her, if you start using information you've found by deceiving her you destroy whatever trust does exist between you.

Think about it, if she is having a fling online because she thinks it's hamrless,then you're doing something just as bad with this fake suitor gig.

If she's not doing anything, if it was just killing an hour out of curiousity or something, then if you use this or even by doing what you're doing, you're saying you don't trust her.

Remember, everybodt tends to flirt almost out of habit with members of the opposite sex, personally I don't agree with it if you're going out with someone, but a lot of people do it,that may be what's happening here, and she may not see it as a problem. However I guarantee that whatever is going on,she will see your suitor trap as a reflecting a lack of trust.

CathyMoran

I would be concerned - I would see about getting extra evidence first. I saw a mail of my ex-fiance on a bb and found out that he was seeing someone but I got furher proof before I confronted him. People flirt and this might be all it is but I would urge caution.

Ste-

Almost three years and you haven't the decency to confront her about things ?
Messaging her was the wrong thing to do.
You don't trust her, that's clear from your actions.
Maybe rethinking why you're with her might be next on your list.

CathyMoran

I am not sure that sending a message was a good idea but sometimes you just know. Going on a dating website should send alarm bells ringing. Ok, I know that I was one of the unlucky ones that found that their partner was cheating via this means but cyber-dating is all too easy.

Töpher

How did you also stumble onto the mentioned dating site? Were you looking to do some online dating yourself, or had you been actively watching her online actions?

Either way doesn't point to good things, imho.

fitz

Yeah, it's a bit shoddy.

Typedef her sister, and be quick about it.

Then talk to her.

Tell her you typedeffed her sister.

Then typedef her sister again.

secret_squirrel

I think this forum has reached the point where there should be an autoreply saying 'have you tried typedeffing their sister yet?'

SprostonGreen

secret_squirrel wrote:

I think this forum has reached the point where there should be an autoreply saying 'have you tried typedeffing their sister yet?'

This might sound like I'm not "in on whats going on on boards", but what does that mean?

Gordon

Typedef, the poster, has shot to fame and infamy on PI by proposing any and all quandries to be settled by settling for 'her sister' instead of 'her'... or both... or their mother... or all three.

Anyway, this isn't a thread about Typedef, but he's very welcome to start a thread on PI about his misdemeanors if he so chooses.

Beruthiel

Gordon wrote:

Anyway, this isn't a thread about Typedef, but he's very welcome to start a thread on PI about his misdemeanors if he so chooses.

but only if it's a Personal Issue and he sticks to the CHARTER!

Sleepy

"I'm not just a two-dimensional character with nothing but a catchphrase"

Doodee

Hmmm.

To be honest. Does it worry you that she may be up to something, or are you just looking at reasons to off her?
That may sound harsh but i've known quite a few people that need those kind of excuses to muster the courage to do something with their relationship.

Also, if you dont know about it, should you still believe it exists. im not saying to ignore it completely, but until your more certain, maybe you should just let it slide, she could have any amount of reasons for doing it. Low Self esteem, Curious Nature etc.

If you confront her, all guns raised, and your wrong, then you will never hear the end of it. IF you have been watching the olympics then im sure you'd know that just cause the gun is fired, doesn't mean the race has officially started.

*shrug*

Best of luck.