She's a really bad kisser :( Now what?

LegacyUser

There is this girl I met ages ago through a mutual friend. I thought she was very attractive... never thought she could be into me.

But I found out she was! And big time! Couldn't believe my luck. And she is really nice too!

Eventually, I got to ask her out on a date and it went really well. We got on great.

At the end of the night, we kissed...

and it was pretty bad.. really an anti-climax! Maybe I'm being an asshole here but... the girl really is a TERRIBLE kisser... I mean really bad!

I don't know why exactly, hard to explain.

Now I don't claim to be any great Romeo, but I know how to kiss and I think I have really turned girls wild in the past with just kissing. But no matter what I did with this girl there was no response, and no passion or imagination at all. I went back and tried again, disbelieving that she was really as bad as I thought... but alas...

Now I'm torn between asking her out again and just not bothering. How important is kissing?

And if I do get in a relationship with her, how would I tell her, "Look, you just can't kiss! Let me teach you".

I'm feeling like an asshole saying all this about a pretty, intelligent, wonderful and interesting girl... but I feel I have to be honest with myself here!

By the way, I'm 24, she is 28. Not that it should make a difference.

munkeehaven

maybe she is just shy or something ..anyway kissing is important because it's an art in itself ....and can be a real turn on when done right....a lot of people unfortunately still stick to the dreaded ''disco-snogging'' that you did when you were 13-15 or what ever, you know= open wide and wish-wash....maybe just try to hint to her... play around a bit to give her incentive ....

Corksham

If you're put off by a bad kisser then god knows what you'll do when ya start to uncover some annoying habits of hers.
Leg it and hide for cover. I'm sure there is a perfect woman out there somewhere

irlirishkev

Nothing worse than a bad kisser IMO. I've been with bad kissers before, but never in a relationship, so I'm not sure how I'd handle the situation. I know I'd be a bit offended at first if someone told me I was rubbish, but I'd probably listen and adjust if it was important to them..

Kevin.

Silent Grape

mmm, i had this problem myself a few years ago. we were 16, it was my first ever 'proper' boyfriend. unfortunately he couldnt kiss. i started dreading him walking me home from anywhere. my friends and i started talking about kissing techniques in front of him (remember we were 16) in the hopes that he'd catch on. he didnt catch on.

it was a disaster. three weeks of this till i called it a day. he is a good friend now, aged 20, he hasnt had a girlfriend since me...dont know if that has anything to do with the kissing though... one thing i did notice was that if i was higher than him, if i was on top of him, i had more control over the kissing and it was a teeny bit better.

ANYway, the point of all that, dont say anything yet, you've only kissed her once, kiss her a few more times before saying anything. if u really are into her then this should be able to be overcome. say something like 'close your eyes and dont move' and surprise kiss her (urgh). hold her head to give you more control over the whole situation.

Elessar

Jaysus, if you people judge the basis of your entire relationships on kissing alone, you have a lot of growing up to do.

Amz

A bad kisser can really be a turn off.

Although I'd advise you not to say anything, ask her out again, maybe if she's more relaxed around and you and about the situation she'll get more into it.

If the problem persists I advise you strap an onion to your belt and eat plenty of garlic... that way she won't want to kiss you.

Sarky

Elessar wrote:

Jaysus, if you people judge the basis of your entire relationships on kissing alone, you have a lot of growing up to do.

I concur...

Chinafoot

how do you know she's not thinking the same thing about you?
you're only as good as the person you're kissing and it might just be a case of a bad match.
i was with a guy before and it was just awkward and generally not nice and yet i know another girl that was with him before me and she reckoned he was a fantastic kisser.
you need to find a style that suits you both. people kiss in different ways and i think its a bit unfair for you to expect her to just adapt to your way of doing things. as the others have pointed out, you've only kissed her once or twice. give the girl a chance.
:rolleyes:

Gordon

I agree with peachypants. Kissing is a matter of personal taste, just like what certain types of food people like. I like brussel sprouts, many don't. She may like eating cabbage and you may not. It is very probable that she is thinking the same as you are with respect to her.

My only advice would be: if you really like this girl that is, is to try to get into her kissing style and try and 'feel the love' in what she is doing. In one particular relationship in my life I realised slowly slowly that particular nuances of the woman's character that I was with were misunderstood by me, and were in fact there due to good, beautiful reasons. So in understanding why these nuances were there I learned that the nuances were pretty funky and I liked them. Maybe you will like the way she kisses if you understand what she is doing, and how she is relating to you when she kisses you.

Either that or dump her for someone that matches what you want right now I guess.

SantaHoe

LikesKisses wrote:

But no matter what I did with this girl there was no response, and no passion or imagination at all.

Maybe she's just not that into you.

Sleepy

I've always found that you can guide someone in how to kiss... Just be a little bit dominant when you're kissing and you'll find a style of kissing that suits you both...

azezil

Oh just tell her and then show how it should be done, that's what I HAVE DONE in the past

nothing worse than a bad kisser >_<

Kell

Elessar wrote:

Jaysus, if you people judge the basis of your entire relationships on kissing alone, you have a lot of growing up to do.

But it does serve to tell you what you might expect if you progress to the sack. Nothing worse than someone who's crap in bed and even more difficult to tell them so.

K-

Paulw

Nothing worse than a bad kisser. I couldn't date a girl who I didn't enjoy kissing.

Nothing wrong though with discussing kissing. Talk to her about it. Most people are willing to learn and experiment. She might just learn how to be better.

MissS

pretty-in-pink

while kissing matters, if someone really fancies someone else then no matter how they kiss it will be perfect, i suspect that neither of you are really into eachother and are both running from a bigger scarier option. i dont know ye so i could be wrong, but i know people and thats what id say to a friend...are u sure you are both into eachother, cause if the spark isnt lighting at the kiss stage it wont light up later. my advice? think bout it.....but i dont think you are going to be together

sorry if thats not what you wanna hear,

Dr. Loon

naughty_girl wrote:

while kissing matyters, if some realy fancies someone else then no matter how they kiss itwill be perfect,

Quite possibly the biggest bunch of romantic bullshít I've ever heard. Surprising... coming from a "naughty girl"

pretty-in-pink

i meerly meant that if u really like someone sparks will fly..............and then u can work on the connection.

lust is the ultiamte draw, but it has to be backed up. you need both in an ideal world......ask yourself....are you willing to compromise to having a happy companionship but a less then hot physical side?

hope it all works out for you

koneko

You could be really into someone, but if they can't kiss they can't kiss. And why are you bragging about your sexual exploits? Hardly seems classy.

To the original poster, have you tried sortof guiding the way the kiss goes? Maybe she'll get the idea after a while. Give it time, she might not be very experienced.

BEAT

Sleepy wrote:

I've always found that you can guide someone in how to kiss... Just be a little bit dominant when you're kissing and you'll find a style of kissing that suits you both...

Yes, this is true when the person is good at kissing...I have come across some really baaaaaadddd kissers. Then there are the ones that are okay but I can make them better by guiding them and they are always impressed when we are finished
For me it has to be fun, it cant be constant tongue flicking and jamming tongue down my throat. There has to be a bit of playfullness and lip sucking but not slobbering.(gawd how I hate the guys who slobber you have to wipe your face when your done, yuk!)
For me if the guy is a bad kisser he is usually bad at other things and vice-versa. I will give the guy a chance if he is a bad kisser but it never works out in the end, kissing is one of my pre-requisites of a good boyfriend.

There have ever been only 2 guys that I can say were so good at kissing my knees quibbled...still gives me butterflies when I think about it.

Stark

Ewww I hate slobberers You can only be friends with a guy like that in my book. If he's a bad kisser you'll always be counting down the seconds when he wants to kiss you and you can kiss goodbye to good foreplay and therefore good sex.