How far can friends go?

MissS

How far can friends go before they become more than 'just friends'....? Anyone any experiences on these kind of friendships?

tman

it's usually up as far as sexual intercourse...

Typedef

Originally posted by MissS
How far can friends go before they become more than 'just friends'....? Anyone any experiences on these kind of friendships?

No, no.... just you.


Please tell me more about this 'sex' thing you've invented.... can anyone play?

MissS

so would you say you're just friends even if you snog and do 'some stuff' 2gether except for like going all the way..... Or do you have some kind of comitment at that stage...?

Amz

I think you're just kidding yourself if you reckon you're "just friends" after doing "some stuff" and snogging.

I think we can all guess that "some stuff" constitues more than swapping knitting patterns and discussing Einstein's theory of relativity.

MissS

well i't's just that I met this guy and i've been to his house now twice....things have gotten out of hand pretty quick....I don't really know if I have true feelings for him....Because when we are doing our thingie I do kind of get swept of my feet and can't control myself.....He's staring to call me his girlfriend already....but i keep telling him we're just friends at the mo....I mean what can you expect after 3 dates?
:dunno:

Amz

Well it sounds like he's expecting quite a bit and so far you've been meeting his expectations.

*shrug*

Typedef

If the two of you are having a pissing contest over terminology, why not just call him your lover/fuck buddy (depending on who it is exactly you're talking to/trying to impress) ?

Put it to him like this "you get to fool around with me, and whoever the hell else it is you please.... here... meet my older sister".

Should work a treat.

Else if he's "crowding you" with all this talk of grilfriend, as opposed to 'female friend of mine, who I happen to fool around with in a sexaul way'... just tell him on the nights he wants to see you, that you're going to your 'friend' Barbie's house and that you're brining a cam corder.

Works for me!

_grin_

Then introduce your older sister to him.

__

MissS

Originally posted by Amz
Well it sounds like he's expecting quite a bit and so far you've been meeting his expectations.

*shrug*

But at that time I kinda enjoy it....it's afterwards that I start getting doubts and worry if I'm taking this too far.....Or maybe I'll start getting more feelings for him....I want to give it a chance....but I'm kinda worried that it won't work out esp. me not having 'those' kind of feelings for him yet...I mean I like him and everything....but maybe not enough yet to take it further.....

But then again......Is it normal not having these 'love'feelings yet just after 3 dates?

snoopish

are ye really good friends? have ye known eachother a long time? confided in eachother and such?

MissS

Originally posted by snoopish
are ye really good friends? have ye known eachother a long time? confided in eachother and such?

No that's the point.....I've only met him 3 times.......But things got out of hand a bit too quick...

Amz

I dunno...

If you enjoy it then keep doin' it. If in time you develop feelings well and good.

If it carries on and you still get your jollies without the feeling of attatchment and this become a problem then you should probably end it.

It's probably just going to be a problem if the two of you are on a completely different side of the coin when it comes to defining your "relationship" as Typedef put it "terminology". To you he's just a sort of "fuck buddy" but he sees you as his partner. This implies that he sees it as a monogomous relationship, it doesn't appear that you see it like that.

He may get upset if he finds out that you're out with another guy and "are doing our thingie I do kind of get swept of my feet and can't control myself". Perhaps that doesn't bother you?

Typedef

MissS.

YOU ARE OVERANALYSING.

You're thinking into a future, that you have little control over.

"What if he does this and then I do that... maybe if I wear pink on a Tuesday, something bad might happen in the evening".

Etc, etc.

You enjoy the sex, great. Generally that's the frist step, sometimes that's the only step.

Women 'consistently' over analyse relationships, and seem to plan down to the tiniest detail the 'entire' thing... just like you're trying to do now.

You haven't yet, said if you envisage yourself married to him.... but, you're not far off.

Relax... enjoy.... less with the trying to control and plan the entire thing out!

MissS

Originally posted by Amz
He may get upset if he finds out that you're out with another guy and "are doing our thingie I do kind of get swept of my feet and can't control myself". Perhaps that doesn't bother you?

You lost me there....Me out with another guy?

snoopish

well then it's not really an issue of how far can friends go.it's only you can decide what you want with this guy.if you have feelings for him then go for it , try out the whole relationship thing, they can be great fun, and you don't have to stay together forever. short term relationships are okay if you are both aware of the situation!

Amz

As you put it "you're just friends" so therefore you don't see yourself in a monogomous situation where you are tied to this guy... therefore if another guy comes along and you are doing your "thingie" he may sweep you off your feet also and you'll end up "doing stuff" with him too.

This may not be a problem/issue with you but your "friend" might see it differently.

MissS

Originally posted by Typedef
MissS.

YOU ARE OVERANALYSING.

You're thinking into a future, that you have little control over.

"What if he does this and then I do that... maybe if I wear pink on a Tuesday, something bad might happen in the evening".

Etc, etc.

You enjoy the sex, great. Generally that's the frist step, sometimes that's the only step.

Women 'consistently' over analyse relationships, and seem to plan down to the tiniest detail the 'entire' thing... just like you're trying to do now.

You haven't yet, said if you envisage yourself married to him.... but, you're not far off.

Relax... enjoy.... less with the trying to control and plan the entire thing out!

I just get the jeppies creepies when he calles me 'his girlfriend' on the phone (i love you ****).....I mean come on.....So then I was just wondering whether or not you can do this stuff (more than once) only just being friends

MissS

Originally posted by Amz
As you put it "you're just friends" so therefore you don't see yourself in a monogomous situation where you are tied to this guy... therefore if another guy comes along and you are doing your "thingie" he may sweep you off your feet also and you'll end up "doing stuff" with him too.

This may not be a problem/issue with you but your "friend" might see it differently.

True.....

tk123

Ok well you're more that just friends...If he's calling you his gf then it sounds like feelings for you. If you just want to be "buddies" ( and there's nothing wrong with that as i'm sure any of the guys here will agree ) then you need to make sure that he knows that too. By the sounds of it you may/may not have feelings for him - go on some dates that don't involve fumbles back at his place afterwards and see if it makes it any clearer.:D

Typedef

Most people when you start to see them, it's all about sex.

Thats fine and good, he says, 'girlfriend' you say 'lover', what's the real difference, if you aren't seeing anybody else?

It 'sounds' like a bullshit argument to me, especially, if you aren't trying to establish a non-monagmous relationship.

Let him call you his grilfriend if it makes him happy, then dump him if you find someone you like more.

That may sound callous, but, it's not.

By the sounds of it, the two of you are <18 years old.

When you're a teenager, that's exactly how it's done.

Revel in it.

MissS

Originally posted by tk123
Ok well you're more that just friends...If he's calling you his gf then it sounds like feelings for you. If you just want to be "buddies" ( and there's nothing wrong with that as i'm sure any of the guys here will agree ) then you need to make sure that he knows that too. By the sounds of it you may/may not have feelings for him - go on some dates that don't involve fumbles back at his place afterwards and see if it makes it any clearer.:D

yeah i'm meeting him on tuesday......

*MissS will try very hard to go out(side) and not end up doing something else....:s *

snoopish

see see short term relationships! i agree typedef

Typedef

Generally when it comes to things like this, I like to refer to wimmen as

"woman", "wench" or "clothes washer/personal sex toy".

That way we establish the 'boundaries' of the relationship, from the get go.

You could always ask him nicely to refer to you as 'Barbie' or even 'slap arse' or any other derogatory term, which doesn't make you feel appreciated as you know a woman.

Explain to him that, in order for you to have an uncontrolable desire to have his children, he must treat you in a brasen way, as if you were a posession, or mildly annoying child.

You should get no argument from him on that front... and if you do... my door is always open.

Amz

Honesty is after all the best policy, eh Typedef?

Typedef

I make no bones about being a slut !

Where's my dinner slave girl? And when you done cooking get out back and cut some wood.... but before that.... be a doll and get some beer from the store.

And if you hurry on back... I'll let you sleep inside tonight.

You know you love it.

Amz

*swoon*

Typedef

Any posessions broken by the fall are coming out of the wages I don't pay you !

Typedef

Originally posted by MissS
I just get the jeppies creepies when he calles me 'his girlfriend' on the phone (i love you ****).....I mean come on.....So then I was just wondering whether or not you can do this stuff (more than once) only just being friends

You're choices are a) ignore and exploit him for sex or

b) something or other that involves you not having sex.

Sinn sinn.

Use and abuse, until you recpricoate or find somebody better to sleep with.

Amz

Oh Typie... you say all the right things.

Typedef

true !

Amz

And modest too!

If only you were taller than me...

*sigh*

Typedef

Well, well.

Works for Tom Cruise.

Or as I like to call him

Mot Laid.

Get it?

*grin*.

Amz

I'd imagine he's taller than me...

At least when he's standing atop his piles of money

MissS

who said anything sleeping with the guy.......

slut? excuse me?

MissS

By the sounds of it, the two of you are <18 years old.

When you're a teenager, that's exactly how it's done.

Revel in it. [/B]

No over 18 btw!! :dunno:

MissS

What makes you say <18 anyway?

snoopish

heh...looks like you're asking yourself the question.

MissS

Originally posted by snoopish
heh...looks like you're asking yourself the question.

yeah i quoted the wrong person....but that's fixed now

Amz

Originally posted by MissS
slut? excuse me?

Getting a bit defensive there aren't you?

gimmick

Nothing better than have a F**k Friend. Nowt wrong with it either.

That is until she turns psycho, and asks you to marry her and move to Australia (or was that the other way round).

Amz

Ah here, there's no sex going on.

They're just "doing stuff".

Gordon

Typedef first used the term "slut" to describe himself. (This is how he wishes to be described I must add...)

Can y'all keep this thread to a less IRC-ish prose please.

tk123

yeah Gimmick is right - you just need to agree on the rules and then it's a win win situation

Typedef

Ok, so you're 19 then?

In either case, I was thinking you'd be 14/15 not to have shagged him at this stage.

_maybe_ that's lurid.... or maybe it's the years of Catholic repression surfacing.

Sex before marriage is a sin you know.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by MissS
But then again......Is it normal not having these 'love'feelings yet just after 3 dates?

I think you are confusing the word 'love' with 'lust', we can all lust after people, that doesn't mean we are in love with them..
what age are you anyway? I'm guessing mid teenager, that time when your hormones are all over the camp, you seem to be unsure of what exactly seems to be going on here. If you do not wish to 'do stuff' with him, why are you putting yourself in the position in the first place? Be honest here at least.

MissS

Originally posted by Beruthiel
I think you are confusing the word 'love' with 'lust', we can all lust after people, that doesn't mean we are in love with them..
what age are you anyway? I'm guessing mid teenager, that time when your hormones are all over the camp, you seem to be unsure of what exactly seems to be going on here. If you do not wish to 'do stuff' with him, why are you putting yourself in the position in the first place? Be honest here at least.

19,

And there defo is 'lust' feelings there but I'm not sure wether ot not I've got any other feelings for him YET!

elvis2002

i fell in love with my best friend. I think we have a better relationship because I knew everything about before I started having a very strong attraction for her. I think its the best type of relationship. Not everybody needs to be all over each other like a rash before they find their right for each other.

MissS

Originally posted by elvis2002
i fell in love with my best friend. I think we have a better relationship because I knew everything about before I started having a very strong attraction for her. I think its the best type of relationship. Not everybody needs to be all over each other like a rash before they find their right for each other.

Offtopic: How cool is that thingie you've got under your posts....Can't come up with the right therm... Ever so genius