Is this harassment?

tk123

one of the managers in my company keeps punching me in the arm/holding my arms and trying to kick me etc in front of a floor full of agents (i work in IT in a call centre) and even in canteen. Now one of my arms is a bit weak cos I had a bike accident about a year ago where i bashed up my elbow. This afternoon he punched me in the top of this arm and squeezed my hand together so it bent one of my fingers really tight. I'm short - only 5"1 but I do work out so I have girly muscles so I don't know if that's why he does it - maybe he thinks it doesn't hurt(?). anyhoos i'm typing this with one hand now cos the arm he bashed is hurting me from my elbow down to my thumb and I've had enough. I find it really embarassing when he does this - the other week he whacked my bum in the canteen...I don't know what to do - he's m8s with the HR manager so I don't know if there's any point complaining...

koneko

Take him aside and talk to him first. He may not think it's inappropriate.

If he doesn't stop, complain to your boss and/or HR. If he's mates with them, doesn't matter, they have to do their job. If they don't, go higher up again.

But seriously, talk to the guy first.

Nuttzz

of course it is, why dont you return the "favour" and give him apunch when he hits you. You do understand however that he is doing this because your a "short ass" and it makes him the big man

Sleipnir

I would punch him back as hard as I could.
He can hardly give out to you for punching him now can he?

Turner

Is this harassment ?

No its assault.

I would tell him if he does it again you will make a formal complaint to both his boss and or the gardai. He is assaulting you and if he kicks you in the ass that would make it a sexual assault.

Is he only messing when he does it ?? Any why are you standing for it ??

Shesh girl do something about it.

fragile

The next time he grabs your arm and tries to kick you, knee him in the balls, thats something he wont forget in a hurry and he is hardly in any position to complain about it..

eth0_

It is harrassment AND assault. Tell him in no uncertain terms that it's not funny anymore and if he continues you'll report him to HR and/or the police.

leeroybrown

Agreed. Regardless of how playful/innocent someones intentions might be (but it's pretty clear cut assault in this case), harassment is defined from the perspective of the harassed party. If you feel that a colleague is harassing you then you should talk to the person, a more senior member of management or HR. Pick a member of management who you think could deal with this properly and impartially.

Have you actually told him this hurts you, that he is harassing/assaulting you? It doesn't make it right for him to do it iif you don't tell him but making it clear to him could stop it.

Beruthiel

I agree with the above posters
and I wouldn't care whither he is friends with the HR or not!
it is the HR's job to sort stuff like this out

only take the HR route as a second option
talk to him first, tell him it has got to stop as it hurts, not to mention the fact that you feel uncomfortable
if that doesn't work, make the HR sort it, that's what s/he gets paid for

tk123

usually the only way to stop him when i hit/kick him back thou!!! it's just that i was sitting down this time....i'm going to say it to my manager now but i have to get somebody to drive me home and i might go to the docs for painkillers - my plan is to get receipts and get him/the company to pay....i've told him to stop and made it clear that i don't like it so i'm saying it to my boss!

Tippex

I have to agree with the guys here. There is no place for this in the workplace.
Even if he is only joking it is unacceptable for it to happen more than once or twice.
I would definately have a word with him and then bring it up higher on the food chain

Sleepy

sexual harassment and assault in the workplace? tk123 you've a lotto ticket in your hands. Guaranteed to win you a hefty amount of cash in court.

tk123

Originally posted by Sleepy
sexual harassment and assault in the workplace? tk123 you've a lotto ticket in your hands. Guaranteed to win you a hefty amount of cash in court.

Ah my m8 Sleepy - I KNEW you'd give me good advice!!
Anyhoos I told my boss and he was :eek: especially when i said it was embarassing to have this married guy hitting my ass in the canteen!!! So he said he'd speak to him and make sure it wasn't going to happen again

pebble

Weird!

Let us know how it turns out. It's interesting how some people find some things 'playful' and others not. My old boss used to to do these sorts fo things, but that was his way. he did it to everyone, never discriminated.
But on telling him to 'fck off' one day, he didnt do it again, and was actually embarassed and apologetic.

ANyhoos, let us know.

tk123

This guy is an Ops Manager of one of our services. Anyhoo obviously you don't go around telling management to fook off but i did and that didn't even stop him....it was when he whacked my ass in the canteen in front of someone I fancy( ww) ) that I really had enough of it....I went to the docs today and he reckons whatever he did either twisted or bruised a nerve in my elbow(that i must have damaged when i came off the bike) so he gave me some anit-inflamatories(sp?)
Btw thanx for your support everyone!!! This has been bugging me for a while and once i typed in my first post I realised that it was out of line...

MadsL

tk, if this doesn't stop and a ton of bricks don't fall on this guy's head from management, you have a very serious case for harrassment and possibly assault. Document it with dates/times etc, and log the names of anyone who witnesses it, ask your doctor to document the injury.

If this happens again after you have now made management aware of it - go to a solicitor who specialises in labour law.

You should get NO comments whatsoever from this guy on the matter too. That also constitutes harrassment.

ChipZilla

Yep, you've done your bit but informing your employers. As the advances haven't stopped get yourself to a solicitor today.

This is no time for pussy-footing around. It's take-'em-to-the-cleaners time.

BTW, I would mention to your GP how depressed you've been feeling since this began, how you've been having trouble sleeping, crying for no reason, etc.

Best of luck...

Raz

Welcome to Ireland. Nows your chance to cash in your lawsuit payout ticket!

Worst advice ever IMO.

ChipZilla

Originally posted by Raz
Welcome to Ireland. Nows your chance to cash in your lawsuit payout ticket!

Worst advice ever IMO.

Worst advice ever? Is that right? What's your solution? I notice you haven't supplied one.

The guy was told to stop and didn't. It's obvious he doesn't give a sh*t about doing the right thing. Would you prefer a touchy-feely meeting with a counsellor to discuss his feelings and explore why he's behaving the way he does?

A man assaulting a woman at any time, not just in the workplace, is a scumbag and deserves everything he gets, including a lawsuit.

Raz

If you read back over the posts tk123 said she got in touch with her boss and he/she said they'd have a chat with the offender. tk123 hasn't said what has come of this yet. Considering there has been no posts of, "he just did it again" I assume that the issue has been delt with and I therefore have no need to provide any advice.
If I were to provide advice though you can be sure that it wouldn't include bring yer man to the cleaners, which would no doubt create a hostyle work environment whether he manages to keep the job or not. From that point on you'd be know as the person who'll take you to court if you step outta line. As you might imagine any kind of comaraderie (sp?) would be difficult to achieve with the other employees as they will be careful in how they act around you. It's no fun to work in uncomfortable situations.
Plus there's the fact that you've just screwed over this guy who probably didn't realise that he was embarrasing/hurting you. I'm not saying he's not doing anything wrong but the punishment doesn't fit the crime.
If someone calls you a name you don't take out their familly.
I believe that the offender is a married person. If he was to lose his job because of this it could put his marriage under extreme stress due to the nature of the incident and also due to the fact that he's no longer providing an income. If he has children that would really tighten the purse strings.

You can't just say "Oh, he touched me I'm going to sue him for everything he's worth!". Other avenues of approach must first be considered before taking action that could have such a damaging on both your personal work experience and the other persons life.

I think the action that tk123 took was exactly the right course. He got reprimanded for being immature (He should have know better but some people never grow past 16), and tk123 is left with a much more comfortable working environment.

A sexual harassment case is an extreme measure and should only be taken if there is positively no other solution possible as it could end up in a jail sentence.

pebble

Good argument.
Chipzilla, if you have a reply, please make it a smart and articulate one.

i don't want to see any more of this 'sue them' advice. I agree it is bad advice, and until I see your credentials as a reputable lawyer, I think we can leave any of the sueing business out of this.

The woman has asked for advice, and we are waiting on some feedback on the situation. If she decides she wants legal council, then I would humbly suggest she doesn't take it from a bunch of letigeous soap-boxers on these forums.

tk123

Ok well I haven't heard anything/seen this guy since but I mailed my boss a few mins ago asking if I can be reimbursed for the doctor's fees- i'll let you all know what happens!!

pablo21

Well put pebble.