diddly of a date quandry

LegacyUser

There's this very close friend of mine I've really liked for a _long_ time, but never really got to see very often (every fortnight or so)

Situations have changed so we've been seeing each other a lot more regular 3/4times a week..

Ive have a good idea she likes me and i've been getting these subtle pointers from mutual friends.. (childish i know, im 21 for god sake!)

Anyways problem is we havent really gotten time alone for anything to develop (both very busy ppl and almost always end up together with friends when we do meet)

Now I know Im gonna ask her out. Thing is since we've been friends for so long the whole, wanna go for a pint/cinema doesnt really cut it (wouldnt be interpreted as a date) while I think asking the girl out to dinner would be a bit over the top (too formal+stuffy) and isnt really our sort of thing either.

Anyone got any ideas on a date idea that might fit this situation closer? Something clearly a date but not too stuffy and must be fun...

Ideas much appreciated!

yossarin

do something low key and casual but different enough from your daily life that it gets marked out as a special event.

concert of some big band, or jazz club? hanggliding lesson? 8 hour retrospective of the films of sergio leone as seen from a feminist perspective? A driving trip to glendalough or somewhere where you can be alone?

actually - maybe a bit intense for a first date, but you could pack a picnic and take her out to dalkey island for the day (presuming you live in dublin and the weathers nice).

Hagar

The zoo is always good.
Lots of cute animals.
Plenty of time to chill and chat.

Maybe even introduce the future in-laws

hedgetrimmer

Any upcomnig gigs/concerts/etc that she would like to go to, that you could buy two tickets for?

Picnic?

Day trip to somewhere?

ToxicPaddy

Just mention in passing some day that has good weather that you'd love to go to the
pub for a few drinks to her.. make it sound like a passing comment..

Then if she says that she feels the same.. reply, well im willing if you are.. and go
from there.. dont make a bit formal thing about it.. just go for a few drinks, maybe
invite one or 2 others along and see how it goes..

A small group of 4 or 5 people will help the conversation but not be a big crowd that
would stop the 2 of you chatting..

Nothing to lose..

Tox

Sleipnir

Originally posted by Hagar
The zoo is always good.
Lots of cute animals.
Plenty of time to chill and chat.

I second that. It's a great idea for a date. Always catches them by surprise and lots of time to have a laugh.

dudara

The zoo is class idea. you can both revert back to childhood and have a good laugh together. My boyfriend and I often go to Fota down here in Cork, and it's always great.

malico

Dinner is always good. I actually head to dinner with my friends quite often for a chance to be alone with them and catch up. Just a social thing!

Also i love Japanese food! So dont; totally kill off the dinner idea. Or, make a day of it.

Zoo, something to eat, drive / drink (If you drink, dont DrIvE). works great!

Kell

Go out for dinner, but some casual restaraunt instead of some formal place, or could you could ask her is she fancies going half on a root and be honest about it.

K-

Hagar

Originally posted by Kell
ask her is she fancies going half on a root and be honest about it.

K-

There is no answer to that. Who said romance was dead?

Paladin

Comedy club.

LegacyUser

Hmmm interesting..

I agree the zoo sounds like a really good idea but our busyness and the fact we're a 3 hour drive away from dublin it may be a difficult one to do..

Concert def sounds good, picnic also.. But I think comedy club is nudging ahead at the moment! Just kinda sounds like it fits...

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone! If anyone else has any fantastic ideas dont keep quiet..

leeroybrown

Make sure you pick something that is a common interest. That way you should both be having a good time which will make thing more natural/easy.

banquo

wait until all your common friends are busy at something else on a particular night and then invite her to the cinema. never fails.

well, not never ...

Typedef

Ask her *exclusively* out to some sort of music function, in town.

Make it clear it will just be you and her. If she agrees, it will be quite obvious during the _date_ whether or not it's going to happen.

If it happens, well and good, if it doesn't happen, then it's not meant to be and you shouldn't persue her any further.

If the girl agrees to such a date then she's interested and you've done 80% of the legwork anyway. It's possible that during the date, some sort of *we're friends and this is uncomfortable* thing will arise, in which case, you should back off and let bygones be bygones.

In any case some sort of music thingy where it's just you and her, and *she knows in advance* it will just be the two of you, would be my suggestion, as such a date is a) obvious in it's intentions and b) sufficiently non-romantic, such that, if it doesn't trigger some sort of chemistry between the two of you, you always have the fall back position of *just seeing the show*.

Typedef

Also from reading the other replies, I'd advise 'against' the zoo.

Mostly because some people find looking at caged animals distressing.

I for one, disagree, with incarcerating animals to put on public display, as amusements.

Some sort of ecclectic concert, persents you as a cultured person, who's idea of going out, isn't to get totally *pissed* have a kebab and try to grope her after, while at the same time allows you to show her that you can go out and have a good time[1]. Also, a gig of some sort, maybe a play, or trendy 'event' in Temple Bar, makes you're idea of a good night out, seem to be more mature, then the usual get €20 quid, drink as much as you can... try to pick up some slapper and vomit/piss down a lane before/after/during sex.



[1] In Ireland a good time means "you drink", but in your case you *don't* want to do that in excess, because that will turn her off you.

Victor

Originally posted by Typedef
Some sort of ecclectic concert, persents you as a cultured person, who's idea of going out, isn't to get totally *pissed* have a kebab and try to grope her after,

You gotta be careful here with the sequence - taco sauce on her bits won't go down well.

Barbie_666

Definitly make a day of it!!!

first make sure its a good day, and that its gonna stay good.Take her for a picnic aroud lunch time, on a river bank if possibal, have strawberrys and cream for dessert, mabey some champagne.Take her to see a movie, (darkness and all that...very romantic:rolleyes: ) i hear Shrek 2 is good... after that go to a beach, sit and watch the sun go down over the sea, get a quick drink, (non-alcoholic of course:rolleyes: ), and have a romantic walk along a moonlight beach...

i think that should get the message accross...

Good Luck!:)

Typedef

Wouldn't that be a bit err... OTT, if she decided to turn him down/tell him she was gay?

dod

aw for jesus sake. innocently take her out for a drink some saturday lunchtime, if ye can't bring yourselves to make a move, get horribly drunk and deal with the familiarity consequences after the fact.

LegacyUser

lets say the best laid (<- hehe pun) plans fall apart..

Cheers for the suggestions but the hooking up happened (in the most non-date possible way) and we're heading away next weekend to fill in that whole first date thing!

So much for the whole casual thing but we're both happy!



Wohoo for happy endings/beginnings!