Confused and need help

Saruman

I need some advice. My best friend is gay and it has never bothered me before until we went to a nightclub. We where drinking a lot that night and one thing lead to another and we ended up back in his house and in the same bed. I have a girlfriend and I do love her but I also have feelings for my best friend. I didn’t not like what happened between us. Dose that mean I am bisexual?? Please help me.

MarcusGarvey

It might be a good idea to remove your email addresses from the post. If someone wants to contact you they can do so via pm.

ravenhead

Has anything like this ever happened to you before?

MarcusGarvey

So you enjoyed yourself. Might mean something, might mean nothing. It's you that has to answer your question about being bisexual not us. If you are attracted to guys and girls and would like to pursue a relationship with either then maybe you are. Do you think this will be a once off ?

I'd be more worried that you did this while you were going out with someone. We all make mistakes sure and sometimes we can have feelings for another while going out with someone else but you need to be fair to both parties.

Boston

Well thats only one ocation. I mean being iwth someone you actually "love"(for lack of a better word) is great, maybe hats what you enjoyed more then anything else. Theres allot more issues here, like sleeping with a friend cna lead to alot of problems, especially if your other friends find out, and the girlfriend will be really hurt if you slept with a guy. Like taking it as a personal insult on her as a woman. What your feelings aobut him.

Medulla

You have "feelings" for your friend! What sort?

Sleeping in a bed with someone is no sexuality indicator, if it was id be a zoophile!

You don't like what happened, is that because you feel youve some how wronged your girlfiriend, or because a new confusing door has been opened?

Or did it go further than just sleeping.

A better question prehaps is, did you want something to happen?

Medulla

Forget other people's personal feelings for a while, and concentrate on yourself.

Sure there are issues of friendship, and a hetrosexual relationship. But nothing can be resolved in truth if you are not clear in your own mind.

You dont owe anyone justification.

Just go with what unconsciously feels right, dont think too much.

If you try looking for guilt you will find it, so dont!

Boston

Originally posted by Medulla
Forget other people's personal feelings for a while, and concentrate on yourself.

Sure there are issues of friendship, and a hetrosexual relationship. But nothing can be resolved in truth if you are not clear in your own mind.

You dont owe anyone justification.

Just go with what unconsciously feels right, dont think too much.

If you try looking for guilt you will find it, so dont!

Actually sharing a bed with someone else, and then sharing your girlfriends bed, makes it a major issue. Its not just you sleeping with your best mate, its her too.

segadreamcast

This guy is on a roll today - posting fake numbers in the For Sale forum, and now posting this with (perhaps) fake e-mail addresses in this forum.

Now, I don't mean to be insensitive but...


On the other hand, you (and by this I mean anyone else who is reading and feels they are in the same scenario) need to take time out and gain perspective, was this a drunken folly, was it something you wanted, did you feel regret after it or during it? Did you feel fulfilled after it? Has it opened any new doors?

My post presents more questions than answers - simply because there isn't a one-size-fits-all answers, you need to take time to consider your feelings by asking yourself these questions - only then will your inner conflict be resolved.

Medulla

But this is an inner conflict that needs his attention.

The last thing he needs is a load of other stigma attached to his already considerable "confusion".

I dont mean to be smart but this aint an episode of Trisha, and the last thing this guy needs is to think about other people, when (and im guessing he's at least over 18) this is something he's blocked or ignored for a while!

Let not make this a drama.

Boston

Originally posted by Medulla
But this is an inner conflict that needs his attention.

The last thing he needs is a load of other stigma attached to his already considerable "confusion".

I dont mean to be smart but this aint an episode of Trisha, and the last thing this guy needs is to think about other people, when (and im guessing he's at least over 18) this is something he's blocked or ignored for a while!

Let not make this a drama.

Pretty damn irresponsible from an STD point of view. Also how do you know this is something he's ignored. One drunken night doesn't define a life.

Medulla

Its irresponsible to the "self", last thing he needs is a neurosis.

He never mentioned sex, and if there was thats a sexual heath issue which should be kept separate, because he's asked for help on "sexuality".

You have been imposing outside standards to this case, your own standards and considerations. What "Saruman" needs is liberation, not moral restrictions.

He's going to come up against them himself, and thats his personal issue, a different issue.

Its not the one night in bed, its the potential implication.

MarcusGarvey

Originally posted by Medulla
You have been imposing outside standards to this case, your own standards and considerations.

Choking on the irony yet ?

Saruman

Mother of GOD!! :mad:
Guys sorry about this. Someone posted this under my name, im guessing in work, im guessing it was St3vo (a boards member) who was using the computer i usually use. I know he also posted that i have oxygen tickets and posted my work mobile number. Im going to get revenge.. oh yes i will
For record i have not nor ever will i have anything other than feelings for women.. hell i dont even know anyone who is gay nor do i even drink much.. and get me in a night club??? Please i hate them.

MarcusGarvey

Don't stick his mobile number on any gay dating sights because that would be horrible (for him).

Sleipnir

Originally posted by Saruman
Mother of GOD!! :mad:
Guys sorry about this. Someone posted this under my name, im guessing in work, im guessing it was St3vo (a boards member) who was using the computer i usually use. I know he also posted that i have oxygen tickets and posted my work mobile number. Im going to get revenge.. oh yes i will
For record i have not nor ever will i have anything other than feelings for women.. hell i dont even know anyone who is gay nor do i even drink much.. and get me in a night club??? Please i hate them.

Ah. He's at the Guilt & Denial stage already. This is an interesting case......

MarcusGarvey

While this is your friend trolling, the advice that was given is still beneficial for others in my opinion.

Saruman

Thats true.. perhaps It is his own inner Gayness trying to break out and posting as me does not help.. hey maybe he thought he was posting as himself maybe? Aww everyone send St3vo a PM and offer your understanding and advice
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/private.php?s=&action=newmessage&userid=24168

swiss

Great, a troll thread.

I'm annoyed about these because it makes it less likely that someone who is being serious and is really having a hard time will be taken seriously.

I'm one step away from handing a banning to the member responsible for hijacking the account and to Saruman for being silly enough to allow his account to be used like this.

The fact that I got caught out once and someone posted "I'm straight" under my account in this board does not negate this fact .,

Anyway, move along, nothing to see here.