A few groaners - Enjoy

Hagar

One night Dracula is walking down the road when suddenly 10 tons of smoked salmon sandwiches,bread rolls, pitted olives, chicken wings, tomato salad, ham sandwiches, rice, and crisps fall on him from a great height pinning him to the ground.
"Oh no", he gasps with his dying breath, "Its Buffet the Vampire Slayer."

Quasimodo comes home one night from a hard days bellringing to find Esmerelda in the kitchen with a satellite dish.
"Great", he says, "We're getting Sky Movies"
"Get a grip", she says, "I'm only ironing your shirt"


A young curate is sitting on the plane when he is surprised to see the Pope get on and take the seat beside him. The Pope takes out the paper and starts doing the crossword.
"Great", thinks the curate,"I'm good at crosswords. If the Pope gets stuck I'll help him. He sure to be impressed".
After a few minutes the Pope turns to him and says "Do you know a four letter word ending in UNT that refers to a woman"
The curate thinks for a moment and says "AUNT".
The Pope says "Oh, you wouldn't have any Tippex on you by any chance?"


A mute goes into a chemist to buy some condoms but has extreme difficulty making himself understood as the chemist does not know sign language. In desparation he takes out his langer, slaps it on the counter and puts a €10 note beside it. The chemist thinks for a moment and does the exact same thing. He then scoops up the two €10 notes and pops them in his pocket. The mute goes mad and starts jumping up and down and giving the chemist the finger. The chemist says "Fúck you too, if you can't afford to lose you shouldn't gamble.

Ruatha

:rolleyes:

Diddy Kong

that first one was terrible..but the rest were funny

Barbie_666

didnt like no 2...

but the rest!!!:D

Sleipnir

Originally posted by dbfarrell
that first one was terrible..but the rest were funny

what!?!?! The first one was the best!:D

Buck Owens

the 3rd one is a classic,gotta steal it:D

de5p0i1er

So bad there good.

Pugsley

3rd is class

Tom Dunne

The third one brought tears to my eyes.

/me wonders if I would have won that bet.

gobby

third one rocks! haha!!

kmart6

There all good

Kazu

so old

Healio

a builder is up some scaffolding, when he needs a saw, so he shouts to his collegue, however he cant understand. so the builder decides to use miming actions, he points to his eye meaning "I" then to his knee meaning "need" then moves his right habd forward and back over is left hand meaning "saw", so then the other builder pulls down his pants whips out his lad and starts pulling it. with that the other builder legs it down and goes whats all that about i only wanted u to give me the saw, then the builder replies, i was just telling you i was coming.