Random Rant because I feel like it

Groovemerchant

At this stage, staying up til dawn is an old habit of mine. What is this, insomnia or self-inflicted exile? I do sleep, I sleep a lot. But so much of that sleep is during daylight hours. I'm not anti-social, on the contrary, I go out all the time, and I’m always with my friends. But while my friends go home and sleep, I tend to go home and think. Getting to sleep has always been the problem. The sleep itself is fine. Indeed, once I am asleep I make the most of it and I have been known to sleep for marathon periods. One time I slept for thirty consecutive hours last summer, drenched in sweat from Europe's heat wave, having spent five crazy days and nights in Amsterdam. That was in Germany, where I am currently re-residing. Lately, I haven't been sleeping, but like I say, it's an old habit.

I wonder if I'm fooling myself by calling myself an artist, a writer, a poet. I write in a journal in dribs and drabs but it's been a long while since I've written anything that I consider worth reading, by anyone. I mean, I know I can write well, in terms of grammar, composition etc., but I'm so critical of the relevance of my work. Mostly, all I seem to be able to express is frustration and pain and I'm doing it again right now. I'm horribly aware of the clichés in every sentence I put together. I know, I know, I'm being 'over-critical', and I should just let it flow and 'be myself', whatever that means, and blah blah blah.... I guess ADD doesn't help my situation either, heh.

I don't really have ADD, I'm just over-stimulated, I suppose. I don't even watch tv anymore, got rid of that faux ami months ago. I still have a monkey on my back nonetheless; With the advent of broadband, I've witnessed a major new addiction surge up from inside of me. Stop all the Downloadin!
I've been a music addict for years, my cd collection reached 600 before I discovered the joys of ''MP3 and The Free Music Revolution!''. And now, I can get new songs in a matter of seconds and I just can't stop, and movies too, I can get those, practically any movie I wanna see, cartoons and programmes and books! yeah you can even download books, it's not too easy reading them on a computer screen but you get used to it, or you can go for the audiobook option (the easy way out), and porn, hells yeah, lots of porn, pictures too, anything you want and and and..............Is there a Downloaders Anonymous? There should be.
Take a deep breath. Relax. Drink some beer. Settle down

So, what's the point of this rant? I can't see any really. So what's the point in my writing anything? I see beautiful things all the time but they've all been written about. I'm not really the bitter, cynical soul that I may seem to be from this passage, I love life, as sickeningly cruel as it can be. And I love human beings, deeply. But if I want to do something in this life, I want to do it properly, and to contribute towards human evolution (the evolution of ideas). All my ideas are borrowed, programmed into my consciousness by one source or another. I now write with acid and bile, something that could never benefit anyone but me. Everything else feels contrived and pretentious.

keu

pick from option A B or C

A. I don't have the answers you want to hear, but rant away til your hearts content.
B. if you have been officially diagnosed as ADD, why don't you ask your doc for ritalin...it does work. (takes the edge off)
C. start directing your "creative" energies in a manner that is constructive, try and apply yourself to a project and commit to it, you never know you might produce something worthwhile (a book, or something ooh i dunno use your imagination)



btw..if you had a 9-5 job, you would probably find you really need your sleep at the end of the day and the routine would help you find some focus in life.

this post could have been in PI.

[edit] option D. turn off the computer if you really like beautiful things, you will find them right outside your own frontdoor. Take a walk in the country side or go to the beach, how do you expect to find any inspiration outside of what is not bitter and cynical on the internet? huh? huh?
do ya think Pa kavanagh sat in his bedroom looking at the fourwalls?
noooooooo

EPIC


I have lived in important places, times
When great events were decided : who owned
That half a rood of rock, a no-man's land
Surrounded by our pitchfork-armed claims.

I heard the Duffys shouting "Damn your soul"
And old McCabe stripped to the waist, seen
Step the plot defying blue cast-steel -
"Here is the march along these iron stones."

That was the year of the Munich bother. Which
Was most important ? I inclined
To lose my faith in Ballyrush and Gortin
Till Homer's ghost came whispering to my mind.
He said : I made the Iliad from such
A local row. Gods make their own importance.
1938

important times and places....mmmmm.
rant over.

simu

That's a great peom by Kavanagh alright!

CuLT

God damn I hate Kavanagh.

BEAT

keu,
I think you may have missed something...I think the original poster was not just ranting/complaining...what he posted was actually a piece of work.

Perhaps I am the only one that can see it, but there is poetry in what he posted.

keu

yea..and my answer is poetry too.


can you see it?

simu

Originally posted by keu
yea..and my answer is poetry too.


can you see it?

I can't!


To Groovemerchant, you have lots of ideas but they're all over the place there (well, normal - it's a rant). When you're more calm, you could pick bits (ideas, observations etc) out from your rantings and develop them. Don't think about trying not to be like other writers all the time - that will happen by itself if you keep writing.

keu

I can't!

well..thankfully groovemerchant did.
and thats all that matters really.