Empty

LegacyUser

Does anyone ever get this awful cold feeling of emptiness inside them? There are times when i'd get really emotional and upset over something and as a result get really depressed before breaking down onto tears, but then almost immediatly afterwards this feeling of coldness/harshness/emptiness washes over me and stays with me for quite a while! Recently i've been isolating myself from people even when I'm with them, I just shut down, loosing all confidence, which is painful for me because i always considered myself to be quite confident!

Sleepy

Welcome to the 00's. Our generation has been struggling to find meaning in life because we have it so easy compared to those that went before us. This gives us too much time to contemplate things, the media throws a different angle at us every second month about what we're supposed to be these days. I've no answer, so if you find one let me know will ya? Read some Douglas Coupland, for some reason it helps me...

nads

Originally posted by Sleepy
the media throws a different angle at us every second month about what we're supposed to be these days.

Don't knock the new billboards, this week get her english muffins.

inside-dude, don't fret it out, i used to get the exact same craic as that and still do but i've learned through past experience to get over it, i listen to a certain album and try and sleep, i hope that's a help but the lads know more than me on these boards so keep posted!

Boberto

Yup... been there and it's happening more frequently than it used to. I don't have any answers myself... It's basically the same as you've described as well as feelings of loneliness, confusion (as in where my life is going, etc..)

I plan on taking some time away to figure out things.. You should try and get away from everything and take a break...

Maybe write down what you're feeling when you go through this again. It might help you understand it a little more.

LegacyUser

cheers guys , nice to know i'm not alone on this one!I'm kinda experiencing what boberto is saying as well, as in I just find myself wondering what the hell i'm doing with my life.But it's not as if i'm a waster or anything it's just it seems I have my priorties all wrong eg. giving unnecessary importance to things that shouldn't consume so much of my time. It's difficult to get my head sorted because i'm a deep thinker and nothing seems black and white.(maybe I should read a little less stephen Hawking...:(). As for Nads suggestion...it has provided a short term solution I must say, as I just dug out my old spin doctors cd-pocket full of kryptonite:)
As for any long term solutions...keep me posted!

keu

I don't know if this is a solution (and I hope I don't get beaten over the head for even suggesting) but seeing as this is not an isolated kind of thing, why not do something about it by..ooh..sharing some inspiration with others?
Perhaps a quote from one of your favourite books, or a song, or poetry or proverb.
something inspirational that lifts the spirits. like...

"The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities,
But to know someone who thinks and feels with us,
And who, though distant, is close to us in spirit,
This makes the earth for us, an inhabited garden." Goethe

maybe you could propose a forum where you could do this, a bit like "word of the day" type of effort and that way, you get to make people laugh..or cry..lighten the load..or just think.

Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead

there's a couple for starters.

"Be excellent to each other." Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

ferdi

i am going thru this everyday for the last 6months or so, its killing me, i'm seriously depressed....but you just got to keep going and ignore it

Etain

I think we all get those moods. No matter what our age or occupation, we can have those times that suddenly come over us and make us doubt ourselves and everything about our lives. I believe it's stress related for most people. We have more and more demands on our time, but we aren't given any more time to deal with it all. The hamster in the wheel syndrome.

nads

Whatever you do don't read Catcher in the Rye or Generation X, well maybe Generation X, that'd be cool except working the McJob.

I find though a good old jerk n' sleep does the job for me temporarily, long term though maybe some kind of opposite sex partner accompanyment... a girlfriend, that's it, i forgot for a while, they still have them out there, except you have to pay for them (somebody taps on shoulder and explains the way the world normally works)... oh right yeah

seriously though stick with the albums, no greatest hits or any of that craic

blobert

Originally posted by Sleepy
Our generation has been struggling to find meaning in life because we have it so easy compared to those that went before us.

I think you might be on to something there.

Then again a feeling of emptiness is perhaps not as bad as actual concerns (that not having life easy brings).

I think it's unavoidable that people get unhappy from time to time.

I'd imagine it will pass for you (then come back then pass again).

Such is life

nads

Originally posted by Sleepy
Our generation has been struggling to find meaning in life because we have it so easy compared to those that went before us.

I'm still not fighting in no wars or anything though, a Russian tank could drive down my road any day and i'm still not fighting

Good point though in fairness Sleepy.

Sleepy

To be fair, it's not really *my* point. It's a paraphrasing of a line from Fight Club. I just happen to believe it.

Emmo

Yeah it happens to me, it will happen to me.

We have instant everthing, communcation, money, water, light.

Anything we want is on a plate infront of us except for the one thing we need.

Love.

Not sex, love. Someone who will make you feel as if your important. As if you matter.

Your family love you, even though you might not know it. They do love you but it's really difficult to accept that cause it kinda feels like they have to.

Just know that everyone else feels like this to some extent or another until they find that someone, maybe a friend, maybe a partner. Then everything seems to go a little easier. Roads not as long, you have exact change for the bus, the toilet paper hasnt run out and the phone does ring.

In truth the only thing that changes is you,

My advice to you is to belive you will find your catalyst.

If you need to talk or even vent your spleen PM me if you like.

Emmo

wombat

Yeah, I get this a lot of the time.
Personally I'm dealing with it by trying to write a book. It's difficult, requires a lot of thought and effort and occupies a lot of my time. It's a matter of having goals you can work towards.

I think the problem is that very few of us have anything or any achievements to really feel good about, sod all to work towards. I wonder do emergency services workers feel like this or is it something people like me, an IT peon without many hobbies, suffer?

VenusDiablo

I think most people can understand to some level how your feeling, i know i can. i put it down to not being able to cope with the daily stresses of life and evetually it all comes crashing down. We were never taught how to cope.
It doesnt happen to me as often anymore, i just hope for the best and prepare for the worst in every situation. i dont expect much out of life in general, i know that sounds lowly and pathetic but i use it as a copeing mechanism, so if something good happens however small its a bonus, at least this way your less likely to be dissapointed. Once you have this in place life seems alot more managable and in general alot brighter.

Hope this helps in some tiny way;)

Silent Grape

we dont have it so easy compared to previous generations, we just have it different.

munkeehaven

sometimes you are gonna feel empty.....its life unfortunately but there are ways to alleviate it.......you know like friends,reading,going for a walk......yoga?!

billy the squid

@inside

Shutting your friends out is not a god idea. I believe that everyone should have at least one person they can turn to when they are in trouble emotionally. Even if you are not in a relationship with that person it helps to release some tension and stress if you have that one true friend.

Our generation has been struggling to find meaning in life because we have it so easy compared to those that went before us.

I would not agree with this. I know we are not in any wars or anything but I feel that life in this generation is a lot more stressful than before. The price of those things we aim for in life is fast becoming out of reach. If you had the aspiration of owning your own home before only one partner in a relationship would have to work. Now if you want the same thing, you would want to either be earning a masive wage or have both partners working. Even Council accomodation is beoming out of the reach of many as the housing lists are too long.

inside. if it is a case of every little thing is pulling you down you might consider visiting your GP or seeking counselling.

RicardoSmith

Originally posted by Silent Grape
we dont have it so easy compared to previous generations, we just have it different.

Well we're (the world) are not at war, so that has to be easier.

Basically its hard these days to stay inspired and motivated.

Silent Grape

previous generations did not always have wars.

why is everybody generalising? this is one guy talking about himself and its turned into a mini debate about 'previous generations'

having a hard life does not make it any easier to remain motivated, if anything its more likely to be the opposite.

i have no advise for you empty, like other people have said, it could be a phase, we all go through times of wondering where we're and what we're doing. just kget through it and dont think too much.

x

impr0v

a popular school of thought claims that the organism needs three things to survive; sustenance, sex and violence (or in wider focus, conflict). sheltered in an environment free of conflict, at least on a macroscopic scale, the organism turns to looking within for the conflict, hence the rapid growth of the self-help industries, the growing popularity of turning to councilling, therapy etc. the violence can be substituted for of course, sport (either as spectator or participant) being the most obvious low calorie alternative.

sure it's a generalisation, but it can't hurt to examine the theory in order to look for solutions. also, for someone so keen to diagnose the wanton use of generalisations, you might do well to rephrase 'why is everybody generalising'....

Sarky

It happens everyone now and then.

Try new things. Music, hobbies, people... You might find something/one that means something to you, and you'll have something to fall back on when the dreariness comes along.

RossFixxxed

Welcome to the real world.

There's a lot worse out there. For the love of god i hate this "I'm unhappy cos there's nothing to be unhappy about" bull****. This is why the people with the real problems (Look at ireland's suicide rate), end up getting mocked.

Some organisms need a kick in the face. Made-up drama makes me so angry it's not funny.

Ross

(If in the case of the orignial poster, you are suffering from genuine clinically diagnosed depression, go to a doctor, NOW NOW NOW, it'll hopefully make a world of difference)

keu

(If in the case of the orignial poster, you are suffering from genuine clinically diagnosed depression, go to a doctor, NOW NOW NOW, it'll hopefully make a world of difference)

ffs..if you are a doctor and are clinically diagnosing then grand, but if your not that statement is out of order.
I'm assuming the guy is late teens early twenties, this is a natural part of growing up.
perhaps he spent some time taking bangers or ecstacy some years ago (which the consequences are being played out in latter years, by showing up as depression)
This is Ireland, we have a ****ty weather system which allows us a couple of days of sunshine every year and for the most part we sustain long periods of winter where socializing is the norm.

ther are so many factors which can be contributing to how he is feeling.
perhaps he suffered a loss (a contributory factor to depression), perhaps he grew up in an environment which sucked the life out of him, perhaps he is listening to too much muse or some other type of internally expressive dialoquial mish mosh of music which makes you feel just as ****ty...there's a hundred things.
sitting in front of a computer 24/7 doesnt do much for making you feel useful or needed.perhaps he doesn't have a girlfriend (because he spends his time in front of a computer head banging to be accepted by his peers.
"****" it...
there's a few ways of combatting the situation, could try counselling or therapy, or you could go to a doctor who will prescribe pills (quick fix, not real solution) or you you canlook at what is the causing factor.
usually once aknowledged, acceptance begins and we learn to see things from a new perspective.
like if you realised eating pizza 24/7 was making you feel ****ty and you realised pizza was mking you feel this way, you stop eating the ****e.
same thing.

get out and breathe some fresh air, and you might begin to find some purpose in life too.

rant over.

****= sh it/sh itty/ shi te

edit: i'm not suggesting you don't visit your gp, or have some counselling..do, if only just to talk and have someone who is qualified to listen and perhaps suggest.
there is nothing like an unerstanding sympathetic ear to help someone gain some perspective.
best of luck to all

RossFixxxed

ffs..if you are a doctor and are clinically diagnosing then grand, but if your not that statement is out of order.

I said IF. IF you are. IF Although I did leave a comma out.


Heading out to a doctor (of whatever kind) is a good idea, if only to see what the options are. It often can put things in perspective.

Ross

pretty-in-pink

I think that people who experience this form of depression need faith. IMO its not the fact that life has become faster and we have more social demands(though it contributes). Its because we have as a whole left our old belief systems behind, and not really found something to fill the gaping void

I speak from my own experience here,maybe im just different. But when I was younger there was a lot of stuff I went through that drained me. I felt that awful emptiness that the other posters here have described. I just felt like I was trapped inside this dark lonely bottle, but time and experiece guided me back to my faith. Having something to believe in, that there is a reason for everything and that while life is not entirely in our control, there is a benign force who will never make us go through something that will not eventually benefit us, that will never leave us alone. Having God has made me a better adjusted person, and I can bounce back much better.

Result? What would have knocked me sideways just 2 years ago now barely dents me because I believe in something. My faith helps me. Maybe everyone could benefit form this maybe not, but thats what helped me. Hope it all works out for everyone.

snoopish

why do you think this person is a guy?

vector

Use this Maslow's hierarchy of needs as a guide