abused?

keu

question.
Have the majority of Irish people suffered abuse at the hands of one or both of their parents?
It seems to be that physical, psychological and emotional abuse is the norm in this country. It wasn't until I lived abroad that I realised that not all families are like this.
I know that sounds a bit sad, but in spain in particular, children have such huge respect and are almost worshipped.
Is this just my thinking or is it a really general occurance here (and therefore taken very lightly)?

uberwolf

If as you say its so rampant here so as that we don't notice you're going to have to provide definitions and examples to allow us reference.

My opinion is that people are so quick to throw around terms like this, diagnose ailments that the real meaning is removed and seriuos cases aren't treated as such as a consequence.

Is this something you believe you've suffered or an observation more than a "personal issue"?


sorry beruthiel

Boston

Originally posted by keu
question.
Have the majority of Irish people suffered abuse at the hands of one or both of their parents?
It seems to be that physical, psychological and emotional abuse is the norm in this country. It wasn't until I lived abroad that I realised that not all families are like this.
I know that sounds a bit sad, but in spain in particular, children have such huge respect and are almost worshipped.
Is this just my thinking or is it a really general occurance here (and therefore taken very lightly)?

Spain has its problems with it, the same as we do. Don't kid yourself.

keu

Is this something you believe you've suffered or an observation more than a "personal issue"?

a bit of both.
I don't expect people to start sticking their hands up in the air claiming abuse, but it is a problem, just one thats swept under the carpet a lot here.(because its quite normal)
this is not a sociology experiment, I don't feel statstics are neccessary.

keu

Spain has its problems with it, the same as we do. Don't kid yourself.

not that i saw, I found their attitudes towards chiuldren so completely different (where i was) but i can ascertain from your answer that you do believe as an issue it is a "problem" and rife here.


__________________

Davey Devil

Originally posted by keu

Have the majority of Irish people suffered abuse at the hands of one or both of their parents?

Eh no, I don't think so, over 1 in 2 abused by a parent I'm sure the figure is nowhere near that high.

murt

did you ever consider that it may be being swept under the carpet in these other countries and thus dosnt get the airtime it gets in Ireland now that we have started to deal with it?

Boston

Originally posted by keu
a bit of both.
I don't expect people to start sticking their hands up in the air claiming abuse, but it is a problem, just one thats swept under the carpet a lot here.(because its quite normal)
this is not a sociology experiment, I don't feel statstics are neccessary.

Its not quiet normal, most people know someone he has been abused, Physically, mentally and sexually, I know peopel that have suffered all three. But I don't think its the norm

Kell

Not sure about the statistics regarding parental abuse, but we do have a fairly high degree of sexual abuse from all different angles in this country. I find it extraordinary that the large proportion of friends both male and female I have, have experienced some form of sexual assault, and the more new people I meet, the occurence increases too. (NOTE- I take the time to quizz people about "assaults" as, just like uberwolf, I hate terms being bantied around).

Parental abuse, I think, could come down to the prevailence of the Oirish attitude in the country, that can even be expressed from parents to children. Here me out-

I had a mate once, who's mother NEVER gave creedence to anything he did, ever. Eeven in conversations with her outside of his company, she would slag the shít out of him and pronounce that he would never amount to much, despite the plethora of certifications he now holds.

As a person, this guy is extraordinarly quiet, never mentions feelings of any description (despite knowing him for fourteen years) and can sit in silence with a person for hours until someone broaches discussion with him. I put that down to his mother dismissing everything he has ever said, making him wonder what the point was in speaking to people in the first place if you only get shot down for it.

Thats abuse, actual live abuse, and I think there is more than one person that all of us know that has had a similar experience with parents.

K-

RossFixxxed

My daddy didn't let me wear my new rocks to school! I was abused.

These people are the problem. And they cheapen everything.
Ross

keu

did you ever consider that it may be being swept under the carpet in these other countries and thus dosnt get the airtime it gets in Ireland now that we have started to deal with it?

i'm not responding to airtime, in fact I don't "see" any anywhere.

keu

My daddy didn't let me wear my new rocks to school! I was abused.

These people are the problem. And they cheapen everything.
Ross

just for calrification. abuse that resulted in re homing, hospitalisation and so on.

Boston

Originally posted by Kell

As a person, this guy is extraordinarly quiet, never mentions feelings of any description (despite knowing him for fourteen years) and can sit in silence with a person for hours until someone broaches discussion with him. I put that down to his mother dismissing everything he has ever said, making him wonder what the point was in speaking to people in the first place if you only get shot down for it.

Christ thats my best mate. Never thought of it that way.

keu

Parental abuse, I think, could come down to the prevailence of the Oirish attitude in the country, that can even be expressed from parents to children. Here me out-

I think this is where i was going. I look around and from what i can see (particularly in the attitudes at boards) that irish society is very very screwed up (and they don't even realise it)

simu

Can't say I've seen much of this first-hand in Ireland or anywhere else - most parents I know break their backs for their kids, they totally worship them, in fact they go a bit too far sometimes imo and end up spoiling them.

I did know one guy who used to get beaten up by his stepfather though and he was seriously troubled as a result - he had a completely different way of thinking of people and had great difficulty trusting anyone which meant that he alientaed anyone who tried to be nice to him. I don't imagine that that's a typically Irish thing, though. There must be international statistics available about this sort of thing somewhere...

weeginger

This is the field I work in. I will post accurate stats when I am next in the office to confirm them. As for the statement that sexual abuse is highest form of abuse here that is not true. There are four forms of abuse, mental/emotional, physical, sexual and neglect. The vast majority of children on the child protection register are there because of evidence or concerns regarding neglect. Sexual abuse is the one we hear most about because it is the one that sells papers.

Thankfully the danger-stranger myth is dying out. Children are more likely to be abused by someone they know. As far as I can recall in cases of sexual abuse the parent is the perpratrator in 49% of cases (2001 stats) while in cases of physical abuse the parent is perpetrator in 91% of cases.

Spain also has very similar issues. The vast majority of people see their children as the most precious thing is in their lives and would do anything to protect them. Unfortunately in some cases this is not so...

Evil Phil

I would agree that other countries have a much better environment for Children. I think we all know somebody like Kells friend - and yes it is abuse. Why this happens in Ireland in particular I don't know but it is a problem.

<additional>
Although after readign weegingers post I may be wrong.

fragile

Most child abuse happens behind closed doors where it cant be easily seen, so comparing what you have seen in Spain to Ireland is not a very good point of reference...

I havnt really observed Spanish parental attitudes, but I wouldnt put any weight in how they act in public, that has more to do with vanity than anything else (same with the Irish of course, im not judging anybody here just making an observation)

keu

so comparing what you have seen in Spain to Ireland is not a very good point of reference...

perhaps i shuoldnt have referneced spain, but in my own experience it was when i realised not all people are treated like scum by their parents.

weeginger

Look up Child Protection Statistics

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/inform/Statistics/CPStats/CP_Intro.asp

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/qualityprotects/docs/mapcare.doc

www.dit.ie/DIT/appliedarts/ssls/socialsciences/links/

www.esr.ie/vol30_1/2_Buckley.pdf

surrealist.org/betrayalofthespirit/ outofthecloset.html?

some of these might help. ISPCC And NSPCC are good reference points and have links to EU stats

Victor

I think there are high(ish) levels of maltreatment and low grade abuse here. In particular the inability of many children and indeed adult to lead normal lives in particular on an emotional level (everythign from "boys don't cry" to "you are a bad boy" to "you are useless") is well disturbing.

Levels of more serious physical, sexual and psychological abuse are probably difficult to compare proberly as different countries have different standards.