More thoughts from a lunatic.

Beatrix · 23-06-2004 12:12am #1

Truth. Unwhite.

At base, with core reality
You shall not hold divinity
Although you seek a sacred me
I am the one you cannot see

Honesty, unfortunate trait
Bars shut some doors of happy fate
But near and dear it clings to me
And this, the one you fear to see

A moon, millions of stars laid out
And yet, for you, a magic bout
Of mystic quality so true
I watch in silence, scorning you

Black is night, to clothe your fears
Black a wave of your hard tears
But cleansing pure and sure and strong
In honesty I've done no wrong

If past the fire of painful truth
You can traverse and o'erleap bold youth
I dream a bounty laid for you
With well-meant wish for all you're due.

BEAT · 23-06-2004 12:57pm

GOODGRIEF BEATRIX!

still waiting for a mild one and you just keep getting better

I am delighted to have you posting your work here, it is rather refreshing.
I hope it will make more of the writers out there want to post and that it may inspire them as well

RopeDrink · 23-06-2004 2:50pm

Very nice indeed, keep up the good work and the contributions Beatrix.

Walls · 23-06-2004 4:17pm

You have clearly worked on this and I do think the praise offered by others is accurate. But I'll sound the warning note, in that while the metaphors you offer from verse to verse are neither overdone or sensationalist, they are rather mixed, going from base core to fire of painful truth. I'm of the opinion that this comment is based on my personal taste, in that it didn't sit well with me. But just to be Switzerland and be neutral....

Shallow-Vision · 23-06-2004 4:30pm

very good Beatrix.. twas you who inspired me to try and write poetry in the first place, thanx

Beatrix · 23-06-2004 6:59pm

One black print.

Etched into my mind

And heart forever.

Holding tight for
Dear life as if it
Had a message
I must know,
It refused to let go
And just
One black print

Made me grow

Hope it's ok to post another one in this thread... but this is one I wrote in my insomnia last night... it's very different for me and I'm a little nervous about putting it up but here goes...