yet another sexist joke...

LoLth

actually, Gand, how about splitting this board into topics. Like, a 'sexist humour' topic that all jokes about gender etc would be posted to? just a thought....

Hazardous Materials Information Sheet

ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

* Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious
stones
* Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
* May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no apparent
reason
* Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in
saturation of alcohol
* Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

* Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
* Can be a great aid to relaxation
* Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:

* Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural
state
* Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen

HAZARDS:

* Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
* Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come
into direct contact with each other

gandalf

Lolth I don't think splittin the board would be a good idea. Just make sure your heading has something to do with your post

Gandalf.

Hobbes

Just to keep this politically correct...


Element: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: 180+/-100

Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
as easily as young fresh samples.

Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes
explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for prolonged period of time. Pretty basic. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.