Big Problem..need help

8407

Hello people. I need an advice ´cause my head is about to explode..
Well, I am in love with a woman, who is just 18 years younger than me. The thing is she is in love (so she said) with me too.
Now, the real problem starts here. I am a married guy father of a six year old girl. I do love my girl with all my heart, but there is nothing between her mother (my wife) and myself.
What should I do? I feel that if I stay in my marriage I will be unhappy forever because there is no love at all between us.
..on the other hand if I leave I may lose my little girl plus I am not even sure if a relationship with a diffrence of 18 years between partners could work..
I am f...confused and tormented here..
Please help..

LegacyUser

The answer is simple.... Simply have an affair - don't leave your child, and you get the sex with nice girl. That way if it flops (pun intended) you lost nothing.

LegacyUser

Also, if you are still on good terms with your wife, she'll continue to do the washing etc, so its win win.

I do persume that the wife has no feelings towards you either - otherwise your being a bastard. If she doesn't, go ahead, have fun. Your wife has probably been the neighbourhood bike for the last while anyway.

8407

I already have had the sex but I love this woman. What should I do? Part of me wants to leave everything and marry this woman. Part of me keeps telling me this is not fair with my child! What the f..should I do?
What would you do?

..and.ehm, NO, my wife doesn´t feel anything for me either...

LegacyUser

Damn this unable to edit lark.

Just reading me last post it might have seem rude of me to suggest that your wife is a slut... but I'm assuming the 2 of you are simular in person - after being married and all - and since you're a cheating w@nker i think its fairly safe to assume you wife is simular i.e a slut

Emboss

man nothing we can tell you will help you decide....

just because you leave the mother of your children doesn't make you a bad person or less of a father.

only you can make this choice......

if i was you i'd go with the one i loved staying together for the sake of a child not only harms you it harms the child.

LegacyUser

If you are unhappy in the relationship with the wife, and so is she.... and you love this other girl... do nothing, stay with the wife and see how things go with the girl. Since your little brat is 6 - its a bad time for her to lose her daddy - so just chill for a couple of years and see what happens.

Fact of the matter is you're half responcable for the creation of your kid - why **** up your life because you want to **** some younger girl (would love to be there when you meet her folks)

LegacyUser

Of course in the last post i made a typo....

its ment to read

why **** up your childs life because you want to **** some younger girl (would love to be there when you meet her folks)

OfflerCrocGod

Original poster Bubbles is a TROLL - ignore what he says, it' not serious advice!!. It's funny though.

Gordon

Troll or devil's advocate - either way an opinion. However, bubbles, it is not your place to infer that his wife is a slut. That kind of hypothesising is akin to personal insults (via proxy), so please keep it civil. (and edit before you hit the submit button please)

Typedef

Originally posted by 8407
What should I do? I feel that if I stay in my marriage I will be unhappy forever because there is no love at all between us.
..on the other hand if I leave I may lose my little girl plus I am not even sure if a relationship with a diffrence of 18 years between partners could work..
I am f...confused and tormented here..
Please help..

To be honest, whether or not you have another woman to go to, if you and your wife don't love each other anymore, then you two should not be together.

This is not the dark ages and you aren't obliged to martyrise yourself on some crucifix because of your children.

From personal experience on the matter when it was my parents and step parents and from friends of mine who's parents split up I can say that frequently the kids are used as an excuse for one partner to force the other partner into continuity of the relationship, for the convience it offers, or for one partner to delude themselves into believing that staying with their spouse is *right* becuase of the children.

Perhaps way back when, when the church dictated the structure of our lives, it was Ok, to live in a misreable marriage and hide in a bottle.

Personally, I think you should leave your wife. Irish courts *will* grant you joint custody, if you fight for it... and to be quite blunt, you can indicate quite viciferiously to your ex-wife how ... difficult a protracted litigation over family assets would be.. were she to dig in on the access to children front.

If you have somebody else to go to, great... good for you, but, primarily if you aren't happy being married and neither is your spouse... you shouldn't be married to her anymore.

Maybe.. that's stating the obvious.

jesus_thats_gre

Originally posted by Gordon
However, bubbles, it is not your place to infer that his wife is a slut.

Note the original poster did not get upset by bubbles calling his wife a slut.. Says it all that really.

lacuna

I don't think it's fair to assume that by leaving the marriage that you will lose your child. She's still your child and always will be. It's up to you to keep making the effort to see her as much as possible and to always be there for her when she needs you etc.

However, this is your life too and I would think that staying in an unloving relationship just because of the child would make you unhappy. I'd prefer to have a happy dad not living with me than an unhappy dad living with me. Oftentimes it's better for the child if the parents don't stay together when they're both unhappy in the relationship.

Suaimhneach

Speaking from the point of view that I have, I might as well be the daughter you are concerned about[an older version of course]. I have accepted that my parents are seperated, and that love comes in all diffrent shapes, sizes and ages. If you are commited to letting your daughter know how you feel, and working at your relationship with her, she will understand you. I know my dad would not be happy if he had of stayed. And your daughter will to if you stay.

Do whats best for everybody. Keep yourself happy, and others will be happy for you eventually.

And your wife might be happier because of it. You might be able to be good friends when you seperate, and for the sake of your daughter keep in contact over certain matters like school.

Goodluck.